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#786548 05/17/00 05:57 AM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 63
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She was born on Sunday night 7+ lbs an 21+ inches long she is very health and very cute!!<BR>I HAVE A GUT FEELING SHE IS MINE<BR>have not had the test to see and I'm not going to for now but things could change. I really do want my marriage to grow and get better so I'm staying with the plan. And that inclueds no LOVE BUSTERS right??I know that seems easier with my gut telling me that she is mine but who care the point is that things are going good.....I think<P>There has been a lot of talk in my other post about the legal stuff but for the time being (TO ME) that doesn't seem very important! <BR>Yes it does hurt when I think about what could or could not be. At times I might want to have the test done but that seems to be when I'm sad or thinking that we can not stay married. Almost like I'm looking for a way out at times and a OC would be a way. I'm sure with me being a stay home dad (MR MOM) that I will have many time I feel alone and scared and starting wondering but again I will sayy that no-one ever said it would be easy!!<P>I want to make sure this ends on a good note:<BR>I"m happier then I have been in a long time. The baby girl is doing great and she is just as beautiful has my other 2 children. MOM is doing good to, no rips, no cuts and she did come home only 22 hours after giving birth. I was in the room with her and I was glad to be there.

Joined: Sep 1999
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My smile grew bigger and bigger as I read your post. Congratulations!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<p>[This message has been edited by Paul Moyers (edited May 17, 2000).]

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BL:<P>I haven't posted to you because you were pretty adament on divorce if this child wasn't yours (and that's a choice you do have to make for yourself). But...<P>My third child is definitely the OW's. There was no doubt---and in some ways, that's "easier" because I'm not left to wonder. You have an opportunity to build your marriage right now, through the support of your wife and your child (regardless of biological origin). The opportunity to have the marriage grow after the birth of a child is enormous, and if you take advantage of it, I think you'll find in a while that where your little girls' genes come from is not going to matter.<P>If there's no contact with the OM, this will be pretty easy for you to achieve. I suggest that if you have the means, that you start some marriage counseling with either Steve Harley or Jennifer Harley Chalmers through the MarriageBuilder's phone counseling (888-639-1639). I've counseled with Steve, and he was a tremendous coach in helping me change my behaviors for the betterment of the marriage. This can be done without your wife's participation; although if she's interested, it would certainly speed things along if she was involoved.<P>Advice: no lovebusters. Listen to your wife, and meet her needs right now. Don't push for your needs to be met. And enjoy your new daughter!!!<P>Congratulations! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

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BL:<P>A daughter! Congratulations. We need to know what you and your wife have named her.<P>It seems as if you have joined the ranks of Paul and K and have welcomed this child into your heart.<P>I am very happy for you. God bless<P>Catnip =^^=

Joined: Nov 1999
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Hey you guys, here is a different perspective. In our family we had four children, my youngest brother is the product of my mother's PA. My father raised him as his own. We never knew this until we were adults. My mom wanted my brother to have contact with the OM, and he said no way, my (his) dad was his DAD. <P>My father is now dead, but that is one of the greatest legacies that he has left us with is his capacity to love. <P>BL: You are that little girl's DADDY right now. Biology is nothing compared to who is there doing the work. You were there when she was born, you are there when she has dirty diapers, and imagine being there when she goes off to school, her first dance, etc. No one can ever take that away from you. She needs you for the rest of her life!! Even if things don't work out with your wife, to that little girl you are DADDY.

Joined: May 2000
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Congrats on your daughter. You sound a lot better today. Once the child is here there are new feelings of love and joy. I think as long as you there is no contact with OM, you will be able to move on and repair you family. Everyone is right, you are that child's daddy. It is true that some people are biological fathers on a piece of paper. But not everyone is a daddy. Once again congratulations on your new daughter.<P>babstr.

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Congradulations [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]


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