My W came to pick our kids up on Friday and called me to tell me that she was coming in OM's truck. She said that it wasn't a big deal, but I told her that it was just more salt in the wound. I thought I could be strong when I would have to see OC for the first time, but I broke down when I saw her. I probably wouldn't have even looked in at her if my D wasn't so excited about seeing her and said "look how cute she is Daddy!!". She was a precious little girl, but I guess the realization that she was the result of my W's ultimate betrayal and the possibility that I might not be able to raise her brought everything to the surface. I wrote my W a note later and requested that she have TP start picking the kids up again so that I wasn't put into that situation again. I know that my D will ask me why I don't want to see OC, but I don't know what I will say. Any suggestions? <BR>I know that OC is innocent and I hold no ill feelings toward her, but to see her really hurts. I just wish that OM or my W would screw up so that my W would be jolted back to reality. I feel great when I don't think about my W, but when I do, doubts creep in about never being happy again. Although the good times are increasing I still would love to have my W back.<BR>Floored

My gosh Floored! How incredilbly awful for you. I have never seen oc in person so thankfully (for me) I have never had that experience, but I remember how I felt the first time I saw a pic of oc. It was like my stomach jumped into my throat and every thing inbetween wanted to come up even further.<BR>As far as you daughter goes, try and remember that she doesnt see the hurt in the face of the oc as you do. be gentle with your words, as I am sure you would, and just pray before you speak. Ask God to give you the wisdom you are searching for.<BR>My heart goes out to you...as do my prayers.<BR>Love <BR>broken_wings

Dear floored,<BR>I am so sorry that you continue to have a difficult time with all of this. I pray for you often.<P>I guess that I don't have any good advice on what to tell your daughter about not wanting to see oc. Sorry. Discussing oc is something that I haven't even faced yet in my own situation. I have a very hard time thinking about explaining stuff like that to my oldest son. (The little ones aren't old enough to talk to about it at all yet.)<P>How have you been doing in respect to the legalities? Have you seen a lawyer yet? Have you done anything about keeping custody of your kids?<P>I really think that sooner or later, om or your wife will screw up big time. They can't go on forever like this<P>Floored, I'm so sorry that I haven't been much help to you today, but I'll keep praying for you.<BR>cdcollins

Aw Floored..I've missed you. Your situation truly stinks. I have no advice today...only prayers.<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Floored,<BR>Gosh she could at least not brought the baby so sorry. Maybe if it happens again you could tell your little girl you think you may be coming down with a cold and dont want baby to get sick. Your wife is going to have to be the one to explain this one what crap for kids to have to go through.Maybe someone will come along with some good ideas. I feel so bad for you and your kids. I to was wondering about legal stuff? with love flowerseed

Thank you ladies. Broken_wings, dealing with my D is my highest priority right now. While I was laying down with her tonight she said that she had talked to W this weekend about whether or not she was coming home and W said that she still didn't know. I guess my W doesn't have the guts to come clean and tell the truth, because she has made it clear to me that she won't be coming home. I told my D that even though we are sad that Mommy might not come home, that we can't change other people's minds and that if Mom doesn't come home, we still have each other. She gave me a big hug and told me she loved me!! I love little girls!!<P>CD, I told my W that I would sign the divorce papers as long as she doesn't fight me for the kids and she said that she wouldn't put them through any more pain and she would not fight for them. I told her brother that and he said that even if she did fight, half of her own family would testify against her! I had lunch with my pastor today and told him of the situation and that I agreed to divorce because I was afraid of losing the kids and he told me that the whole church would come support me if she took this to court. I don't think I am being naive about all this, just still hopeful that she will come to her senses. Your prayers are appreciated.<BR>Flowerseed, you had a good idea about the cold thing. In TX, this cedar fever congestion crap comes and goes, so having that excuse is very valid! Don't think I haven't gotten some good advice from you, I get a lot from your comments here, even if they may not always be directed to me!!<BR>Floored

Hey Floored...know what u mean about those allergies. I am right outside of Houston! It has been awful.<BR>Continued Prayers<BR>bw

bw,<BR>I looked at your profile, have you moved from GA recently. By the way, do you know OM, he's from houston!! lol!<BR>Floored

Floored, Your story has moved me. For awhile now , I have not really been able to post much, as it is hard for me to find the words to reply to your situation. I feel for you and have thought about how strong you need to be for your children. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that peace and love stay close to you and the little girls. I hope all will work out for you in that area, and I was wondering if you had gotten any more legal advise. I think awhile back you were discussing that in the forum. You made a comment in another thread and I just wanted to repeat it here for you because it is so true and it will happen for you and all of us who are trying so hard to make right of our situations, that have done us so wrong. I quote you Floored " God blesses those who do what is right." Stay strong and you will continue to be blessed, you are in my thoughts for happiness and Peace, Gabi1116

No real pearls of wisdom from this corner, other than to remind you to stick to the "no contact" of Plan B for now---especially if these visits are going to knock the wind out of your sails.<P>God bless.

Floored,<P>I know I have been pretty quiet lately. Abbi has been keeping me pretty busy since we've been home. I just wanted to let you know that I am still praying for you and your situation. I too hope that your W and/or the OM will screw up soon. I still don't understand your W's behaviour with all this. To just be able to "throw away" what you two have had together for this OM, just because she had his child. If it was just that, why is he in the picture when you have had 2 children with her?!?! I am sorry that it has caused you more pain to see the baby, and pray that you can be healed, whether W ever comes to her sences or not. I agree with Flowerseed about the excuse of not feeling well, and not wanting to get the baby sick. I'm sorry that I couldn't offer any advice, but you still have my support.<P>Love,<BR>Tigger

dear Floored,<P>I didnt know there was a way to look at profiles...i am still pretty internet illiterate...but yes I did move from Ga at the end of November 2000. We are originally from here, but hubby was in army (unfortunately). He was "officailly" out Dec 18 2000 and we are back in this area. To be honest, I hope I do not know OM. Id have to kick him for ya. Oooo, maybe it would be fun to run into him then...lol.<BR>Love<BR>bw

Okie dokie Floored...I updated it for ya!

Floored:<P>It must have been a terrible thing to have to see the OC for the first time. I saw the OC for the first and only time in a buggy in a courthouse...just a brief glance. I didn't feel much at the time, maybe because I didn't get a good look or cared to. I know if I did, I would respond much like you did.<P>Your daughter is still hopeful her life will be as it once was, just as you are. Kids are like that, though. I remember wishing with all my heart all my life until I was in my teens that my parents would reconcile. Looking back on it, I am so thankful they did not. My dad was not a good role model at the time and in fact, has only been tolerable for the past couple of years! And that's because he is old and can't hurt anyone anymore.<P>With all of life's twists and turns, your daughter will be fine as long as she has you and your love. You seem like a wonderful father and have such love for her. Like with anything else, time will heal some of the hurt and she will learn from the rest. Place it all in God's hands...and follow K's advice to stay in Plan B and do not have contact. It is too devastating for you; it sets your progress back and you are starting to feel somewhat decent at times and even finding a measure of peace and happiness, too. This will help your daughter accept the situation and begin her healing process.<P>We are all praying for you. I agree with Flowerseed...just tell your daughter you're coming down with a cold. You may end up having the longest cold on record, but it will explain why you don't want to see the baby.<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=

It worked! When W brought kids back on Saturday, so that she could go to a birthday party instead of spending time with kids, I played sick and didn't see OC. My D didn't even question me and my S was asleep. Whew! I was worried. I got another letter addressed to OC which has OM's last name and gave it to W and insisted she change the address to her own. She said she was sorry and would do that. I am just ready to tell her to go jump off a cliff because I am tired of dealing with this mess. Why do I have to live my life with this hanging over my head for all these many years to come? <BR>Floored