Or guzzling a Fifth...what the heck.<P>Just kidding.<P>I 'think' it went well. No decisions were made but the Hearing Officer (Judge) was much, much more empathetic to my husband's circumstances than ever before.<P>The OW and her attorney were asking the NY court to have my husband picked up in MN and incarcerated for nonpayment of CS. The HO said he saw no reason whatever to have my husband picked up as there have been substantial payments made on a fairly regular basis and large sums garnished from his weekly paycheck.<P>The OW and her attorney mewled about the outrageous arrears and demanded that these arrears be satisfied. The HO told the attorney and the OW that my husband is bankrupt, he has lost his business, he is divorced and is living on next to nothing and denied their requests.<P>The attorney asked my husband to call him to work out a deal and gave him an 800 number to call. Husband called attorney and attorney told my husband that he is hiding assets and has pots of money buried in the back yard and all kinds of other ludicrous allegations that made us stand and stare at each other in disbelief. <P>The attorney has all our documentation and it would be so simple for him to investigate it all to see we have told the truth from day one. He then accused my husband of entering into a fake divorce (well, OK, he got that one right) and that he transferred all assets to me (yeah, I got the house that is being foreclosed on unless I can figure out a way to pull our weinies out of the fire in time) but, the business is dormant and has been taken over by another company who pays our banker directly. This banker owns everything and will continue to own everything for decades to come...so big deal. We still have a lot of nothing.<P>My husband then asked the attorney, "SO, how is OW paying you if she doesn't have any money? Is she honking your horn or something?" I burst out laughing and had to stuff a paper towel in my mouth...I thought I'd die. Then husband continued, "If you are, I'd watch it, Pal. She'll see you as a wealthy, successful attorney and she'll set you up, too." Oh, it was too perfect.<P>I asked spouse after the call what attorney said when he asked him that and he said that he just laughed out loud a big gaffaw but didn't answer him.<P>Anyway, we are still in limbo, attorney said he would call off the dogs if we came up with $6000, probably to pay him off. But what's to stop OW from hiring another attorney and starting the whole thing up again? The $6000 wouldn't reduce the enormous payments and we are going to still continue to appeal the order. I am sending another packet to the HO with more financial information in hopes he will finally adjust the arrears and payments accordingly. I'll keep you posted.<P>It sounds like blackmail to me and we are having none of it. We don't have $6000. <P>And besides, my husband was fired from work today after being on paid investigatory suspension for the past six weeks for being out of uniform, for unacceptable attendance when he was hurt on the job last November and incurred a torn muscle in his back. A coworker with seniority didn't like my husband because my husband took exception to being called a mamaboinker and a stupid roostertooter when he asked him to show him how to fill out paperwork and explain proceedure. Timing is everything and this termination happened at a great time. He was going to quit anyway because we've moved and he has this new career opportunity.<P>So, husband was given a severance package of $6000 and OW got $4000 of it automatically, so by all intents and purpose, the attorney and his client did receive two thirds of what they requested today. The company knows my husband has documented everything and is worried my husband will sue them for wrongful termination. Lucky for them we are exhausted and burned out from court overload and no longer have the fight in us to pursue yet another injustice. After all in just a couple weeks, I will be officially suing OW for Personal Injury. She is a much bigger fish to fry.<P>I am heading for the woods again to get my cable internet installed and finish settling in details, so until next week, be of good cheer and don't let the a$$howls get you down. You're all in my prayers, please keep me in yours.<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=

Catnip, very nice it all sounds like a plan, hope all goes well. Sorry to hear about your h and getting fired. I know how these things go. My h and I seem to have the same kind of luck , whatever does go wrong will, but sometimes things happen for a reason, and like you said he wanted to leave anyway. It is too bad you do not have any fight left, you might have had a good one with his former employer. Maybe you should not cancell it out all together. I wonder how long you have to bring it up, it might be something to do down the road after you finish all the fights you have to win now, which I know you will win. Gabi1116

One more thought, I hate to say this, but my h and I have also questioned how the ow paid her attorney. We never got one until she did and we really had no choice. We never thought she was with the lawyer, we thougth my h cs was actually paying for the lawyer, is that not a sick thing that my h $ is going to pay someone who is trying to get more $ out of us. So if that were true we are paying her lawyer to make our life even more horrible. How sick? Gabi1116

Dear Catnip,<P>If you are still around -- please do not contact the OW's lawyer directly. That is a little game that some lawyers play -- don't get sucked up into it. They will very cleverly try to get you to agree to something that, as you said, will not improve the case but will improve their outlook. Also, you may inadvertently say something that will be useful in the OW's pursuit of your life.<P>You have no business with her lawyer. Any contacts should be lawyer to lawyer or directly to the court. They all try the "we can settle this on the side" crap and believe me it is nothing but an act. Please don't fall for it again.<P>Enjoy the woods. H and I are once again locked in mortal combat this week -- just the occasional regression -- so I really wish I could go with you.<P>Until next week,<BR>love<BR>- heavenly

Dear Catnip,<BR>Well, glad that the judge is being little sympathetic anyway!<BR>I am just about to go away for the weekend with my h, without kids, to a murder mystery dinner theater. free tickets, thanks to my baby brother, who is the recreation director at a private community in the Poconos. I knew someday he would come in handy - good thing I didn't beat him up too much when we were growing up!<P>I will get on the letter to reps thing asap on Monday.<P>By the way, i agree with heavenly. I am not as well-versed legally as she is, by any means, but i too would be wary of talking very much with ow's lawyer on the side. Every time our lawyer has talked to ow on the side, it has been a trick. I don't think those on the side conversations are ever legit.<P>Gotta go pack. Maybe the murder mystery theater will give me some good ideas in how to whack ow, haha!<BR>cdcollins

Catnip,<P>Bloodsucking OW!<P>I know it is underhanded, but what about your H working gor cash or just hanging out on unemployment for a while or getting a cheesy job at McDonalds and having ow's cs reduced to his new income? It is underhanded but so was she...sounds fair to me.<P>They took 4000 out of 6000??!! Jeezz! What is this greedy hag wanting for monthly payments? Ive never heard of a whore so high priced you had to finance her. Disgusting.<P>Love ya Cat,<BR>bw

Catnip,<BR>I really got a chuckle out of this..***Ive never heard of a whore so high priced you had to finance her ***<BR>I tell my H all the time that all the cs payment is is an installment payment on pu**y.<P>Jtigger

Jtigger...If the pu**y was quality, then I can see paying for it. But, since she was a log and unresponsive, he is the one who is short changed and paying for bum lays for the next twenty.<P>BW: She originally asked for $3000 per month, was awarded $1500 per month, it was reduced to $1100 per month and now it may be reduced once again to about $200 per month. The courts are finally finding out that we do not have the means she/they thought we did. They believed her at first, without investigating the facts. Now they are finding out we told the truth all along.<P>We still have a great deal of work ahead of us to circumvent the court order but I think we will eventually prevail because he is showing no visiable means of support for himself right now, we are divorced, we no longer have anything, and he has a tough time staying sober. this is the only time in our entire marriage where his alcoholism may be advantageous to our cause.<P>Sad.<P>Catnip =^^=

You know it's a real shame that women who have no right to CS are awarded such outrageous amounts and the courts go after these men with a vengeance. Yet on the other hand, those of us who are awarded child support for children born from a marriage get next to nothing, and if we aren't on public assistance the court system really couldn't care less if they pay or not. <P>I have two kids from my first marriage, and even factoring in over $15,000 worth of arrears, I am only awarded $800 a month, and have only received $50 a month for almost six months now. It's disgusting the way the legal system works, or rather doesn't work.

pamo,<BR>It is crazy my h pays twice as much for one [censored] child then I recieved for the two children that were born in a marriage. It is a messed up system. Hopefully soon we can change this. with love flowerseed

catnip,<BR>just had to say God bless. Trying to catch up after a month gone.<BR>J

Hey Catnip,<P> Sounds like OW's lawyer might be into necrophilia!<P><BR> God bless you,<P>------------------<BR>Gregg