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#801609 07/09/01 06:45 AM
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I am still so mad today that I can barely keep from screaming. Yesterday was our last "supervised" visit with oc. Next, we are to have four unsupervised visits with her.<BR> <BR>I suspected that ow and grandma would make some kind of last ditch effort to stop us from taking oc out of the house, and sure enough...<BR> <BR>when we got to the grandmas house yesterday, grandma had her livein boyfriend take oc down to the basement right away, and then handed us a note from her and ow. <BR> The letter said that when we are "allowed" to take oc away from the house, it will NOT be for a full four hours, that they expect us to stay at grandmas's for the majority of the four hours, and that if oc doesn't want to go with us at all, we cannot take her anywhere. I read the letter and said, "That's not what we were told by the C&Y caseworker. I will call her tomorrow to clarify what we are <BR>and are not allowed to do. The caseworker told us that if we ran into any problems like this, she would take care of it for you." Grandma said "I think you will find <BR>it obvious that oc doesn't want to even visit with you anymore, much less go anywhere with you." Sure enough, for the first hour, oc completely ignored us, except to give us occasional dirty looks. I kept working at talking to her, and finally she did start to warm up to me again. Would not talk to H AT ALL. At one point, when grandma went in the house for something, I asked oc if she would like to go with us to get ice cream next time. She said, "I have to tell you no if you ask me to go somewhere." They actually told her to tell us no!!! I was so mad I could have smacked grandma across the head. Towards the end of the visit, oc decided that ice cream sounded like a good idea, and said so. I said, "Next time, I will bring my little boys to meet you and we will all go for ice cream together. <BR> How does that sound?" oc said "good" but looked at grandma like she was going to get in trouble for saying it. <BR> <BR>So we are calling C&Y today. H has the note with him so that he can fax it to them if they want to see it. But even if they tell ow that we can take oc for the full four hours, we are pretty much back at square one with the visits, as far as oc trusting us is concerned. She was scared to death of us the whole time we were there, and kept looking like H was going to hit her or something. <BR> She cringed every time he came near her. <BR> <BR>I am so furious that I can't hardly think straight. I managed to maintain my composure throughout the visit, but exploded as soon as we got out of the driveway, and have been having fits ever since. <P>After we talk to the C&Y caseworker about this, I'll post with the results.<BR>-cd

#801610 07/09/01 08:30 AM
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That is horrible and I think is abusive. Anyone who intentionally makes a child fear a person (with no cause to do so) is horrid. These "people" are cruel and nasty. I hope the C&Y folks eat them alive. God bless you for putting up with their crap. I might have been hurting folks over this. Take care... Carolyn

#801611 07/09/01 08:42 AM
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c.d., How awful have you ever checked into this grandmas boyfriends back ground. It makes me sick for a child to be that scared of your h, I would say that someone most likly male has been hurting her. What a bunch of pukes this has got to make protective sevices look into these people more. with love flowerseed

#801612 07/09/01 11:35 PM
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CD,<P>I am SO upset about what OW and OW mom is doing to Darling!!!!! That is so unfair to Darling, to make her fear you and H for whatever reason they have given her to do so!!! I am wondering if they have physically threatened her if she "enjoys" her time with you and H?!?!?!? I will be praying earnestly for you and H and Darling! These people have no right to raise this child at all! Even though it would be adding another young mouth to feed, you and your H are the ones who are deserving of raising this little girl! You have shown nothing but wanting to give her the best in her life, and these yahoos are doing everything they can to undermine what you and H have worked so hard to accomplish! Please do keep us informed on what happens!<P>Love and prayers!!!<P>Love,<P>Tigger

#801613 07/09/01 12:05 PM
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cd I can't believe it! Well...yes I can. What's wrong w/that family treating you like the enemy now?<P>I hope ow here doesn't act that way and eventually allows court ordered visits plus.<P>We will see.<P>I feel so bad for that little Darling. Parents like that ARE abusive. You've done nothing wrong and they are poisening Darlings mind with lies!<P>Oh please let us know what happens. When can you see her next?<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

#801614 07/09/01 02:04 PM
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Oh CD!<BR>That just makes me sick to my stomach, literally. I would like to slap the two of then in the head, kick them in their shin..or teeth, or just shake the nonsense out of their ignorant heads! Oh, that poor little girl. This is so very sad for her and you guys.<BR>Please let us know what C&Y says and I will be praying for you all.<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>bw

#801615 07/09/01 05:10 PM
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cd,<BR>that is incredibly sad and sick. These people are abusing DD. I hope social services gets proof and gives you custody asap. I'd be spitting nails too, but keep your head... may justice prevail.

#801616 07/09/01 08:02 PM
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Dear CD,<P>Sorry I am late in offering my sincere support and prayers for your family and darling. Like Gemini said, of course, I believe an OW is capable of this. When they don't get everything there way, they are capable of just about anything.<P>I think you should also give serious consideration to what flowerseed said about abuse. Even if darling is not being abused, they must have said something pretty horrible to her to have her react the way she did to your H. I think you should also bring this up with C&Y and have the OW and her mother closely investigated.<P>I am praying for all of you, but especially for that poor innocent child who is in this despicable family. Keep faith in God and things will work out.<P>love,<BR>heavenly

#801617 07/09/01 10:29 PM
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Those evil corrupt [censored] should be thrown in jail for scaring that child and torturing her like that, destroying her happiness, peace of mind and childhood. This is exactly what theya re doing to her and should be beaten senseless for their selfishness, evil and abuse. Shame, shame, shame on them for ruining that little girl's chances with you and your husband. Can you just imaigine the lies and rotten things they are saying to her about the two of you to turn her against you? And it really doesn't hurt you, it hurts her! They do not love or care about that child or they would encourage a relaitonship with your husband and be kind for her sake.<P>They sound like white trash.<P>This kind of thing really makes me crazy.<P>Catnip =^^=

#801618 07/09/01 10:53 PM
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c.d,<BR> One more thought on this is its obvious that these scum bags really dont care about this little ones feelings. Thats what puzzled me when you said boyfriend took the little one downstairs before they gave you the note. Knowing you wouldnt do or say anything in front of her, I would almost bet that the grandmas boyfriend took the little one away when they gave you the note hoping that you would lose control so they could have something to use against you guys. Good for you that you kept your cool they are getting real desperate . I really hope protective services does something soon . I dont understand why they think it is the childs best interest to be with grandma.Where do they think ow learned how to be such a fine person and great mother in the first place. Would it not have something to do with Momma. with love flowerseed

#801619 07/09/01 11:27 PM
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cd,<BR>Sorry for the BS you are having to go through with OC. I know her poor little mind is being poisoned by OW and her mom, but keep doing what you are doing and you will hopefully be rewarded with OC. Will C & Y go with you to OW's house to see firsthand what they have done to OC, because you know they will deny all your claims? <P>On another note..how is your H handling this? I would imagine this is another source of guilt for him knowing that this poor little girl, his D, is in this crappy situation because of the A. I know you have been very supportive, but do these thoughts cross your mind too?<BR>Floored

#801620 07/10/01 11:34 PM
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Dear Cd, <P>Sorry, I am late for offering support, I have not been in the computer this last couple of days. <P>It's terrible what ow and her mom are doing to this child,it gets me so mad. You and your h have done nothing wrong, and this pair of ignorant and trashy women are poisoning this child's head against you and your h. I have to agree with the ladies in this forum,report this and have grandma and her boyfriend investigated, especially grandma's boyfriend, flowerseed could be right. <BR>Please let us know what happens.<P>Love and prayers,<BR>Mina

#801621 07/10/01 10:29 PM
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CD, I am so sorry to hear of your recent problems. Your h, the oc and you will be in my prayers this week for a happy next visitation. We, too, have our visitations on Sunday, and this Sunday for us was just as bad as yours. I know exactly what you guys are going through. Our oc has been told terrible things about my h by his mother, he has also been told he is not allowed to call him dad, only to call him by his first name. I really can not get into a long story right now but this past week we too had many problems with ow and visitation, the drop off place and times were changed by the ow and this is not allowed. Threats over the phone and a screaming match occured. We already have told the lawyer we want to go to court and we have begun the process of filing a motion we are just waiting for a date. Hopefully soon. We are going to refuse any offers the ow trys to give us, before seeing the judge, because we want it offical and on paper, she has made other offers, between the lawyers and they only last until her mood changes. This game is so unfair to all the children. Do you boys know about the oc, did you tell them? If so, I must have missed it. Well, good luck, Prayers for the happiness of our families, Peace, Gabi1116

#801622 07/10/01 11:02 PM
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It amazes me how these systems work. I have seen situations where Child Protective Services has taken a child from a loving home based on an anonymous complaint with no evidence whatsoever - and yet, at the other extreme, these people are allowed to continue to emotionally abuse this child. It makes me mad, too!<P>I wish that people like OW, grandma and G's boyfriend could experience for themselves what they are putting that poor child through.<P>You really are my hero, cdcollins - you are one strong individual!<BR><P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

#801623 07/11/01 09:04 AM
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by terri:<P>> I wish that people like OW, grandma and G's boyfriend<BR>> could experience for themselves what they are putting <BR>> that poor child through.<P>You know what? I'll bet they did experience things very similar to this growing up. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree and twisted, broken people tend to attract similar people to share their lives with.<P>CD, I am sorry for all you have to go through with OC's relatives. I'll be that you scare the crap out of them; you are an OW's worst nightmare. Kind, strong and about to get custody of Darling.<P>You are a strong, strong person to be thinking of taking a fifth child into your home, your heart and your life, especially a child born of your H's affair. I admire you.<P>MJ

#801624 07/11/01 02:01 PM
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Wouldn't it be interesting if a complaint about emotional or mental abuse was filed against OW?<BR>Wouldn't it be something if you got custody and she had to pay YOU support and ask for visitation?<BR>Seems like that would be the "right" thing to have happen

#801625 07/11/01 09:40 PM
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MJ, you are probably right. And it is sad that anyone will repeat such a destructive pattern.<P>terri

#801626 07/12/01 04:48 AM
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Geez cd, just when you think they can't possibly do <BR>anything more stupid...surprize! They do!<P>Bet she's wishing she would have tried making a home<BR>with her boyfriend and leaving you two out of the <BR>picture! Too late for that!<P>My best wishes for Darling and your family to get thru<BR>this mess as quickly and painlessly as possible.<P>Let us know how it goes...<P>Love and prayers, fluke


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