One of our friends, a woman,called our busiuness to talk to my H .No problem we are all good friends.She helped us through tough timea and is married herself,just to clarify. Anyway my H is difficult to reach at our store. He is always with customers. So today this friend of ours,who knows EVERYTHING about our situation, calle and pretended tobe ow, accent and all.Well this new woman at our store has only been there about 2 weeks and patrols the phone like a military officer. She won't give my H the phone if he is with a customer. Well after she said the ow's name this new woman said "oh,oh ,just a minute and proceeded without further ? to give my H the phone. She ran up to him and said it's very important, but didn't mention who it was. W ell when he took the phone our freind says it's me, and he says you *******. She said ,well the only way to reach you is to pretend to be.. ow. So he told her to call back in 5 minutes he was busy. She did in her normal voice and name ,and the new woman adamantly refused to put her through.Absolutely refused! She didn't now that it was her pretending before. So now , what do you think?

Blue,<P>My gosh that is just strange. Are you part of running the business also? I think if it was me I would have a few moments with Miss Phone Monitor and ask her what her orders were concerning ow. I would just have to play interogater, but that is just me. Maybe record your friend doing that again in case Miss PM denies it. Then I would confront H. Maybe agianst MB policy but also would be H talking with ow.<BR>Just my 2 cents, and Blue I pray it was nothing. Huggs to you honey.

Ihaven't worked at our business for over 2 years.Thw ow frequently calls our business to talk to h. He has never agreed not to talk to her. H says it's the only place she can talk to me. He doesn'tbelieve it's wrong for her to call, just not as much as she does. He believes she has a right to call him whenever if it's about the oc.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by blue00:<BR><B>He doesn'tbelieve it's wrong for her to call, just not as much as she does. He believes she has a right to call him whenever if it's about the oc.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Blue, Honey...if this is true, things are not going to change. It may have come to the point where you have to decide what you can live with and either accept things they way they are or move on. This spy versus spy thing is going to kill you. Your husband is clearly involved with both of you on some level and he appears to be adamant about his position. You fretting and stewing and living like this doesn't do you or your kids any good. Unless HE is willing to adhere to the Rules and Policies of the MB prinicples and recommit to you completely and totally and severing all contact with OW, you will go on like this forever.<P>I hate to be blunt and tell it as I see it because we all worry about your feelings and sensitivites, however, to prolong this agony and not say anything to you about the blatant handwriting on the wall, would be insensitive of me to candy coat the obvious.<P>Blue, your husband is an arrogant and selfish man who is enjoying having two women in his life. Maybe it makes him feel like big **** of the walk, maybe he likes the 'harem' thing going on. But, it isn't fair for me or anyone else to delicately dance around the obvious which causes you hope that things will get better when they won't...until, at least, he recommits, severs all ties with OW and works the principles.<P>I'm sorry, Honey. I know you love him, want your family intact and want to 'win' over the OW...and you have in the sense he is still with you. You have to decide what you will settle for, if it's worth it and what you can live with because he doesn't sound like he's gonna change.<P>Take care of YOU and move forward to what you want for yourself and your kids. Once you loosen the grip, stop the obsessing and act lovingly detached from him, trust me, things will begin to change. He will wonder what you're up to, get nervous about whether or not he can keep his cosy little home intact and you will see more deference towards you. Don't cave, don't give in, stay illusive and remote, but friendly, and focus on yourself and your kids.<P>You have to start somewhere to make changes in your life just in case things don't work out between the two of you. I'll pray that God turns his heart and that your family can remain itact.<P>Love<P>Catnip =^^=<P>

CN, I understand what your are saying. I didn't put our friendup to this.She knows the situation and how he is so she did it on her own. Yes, I see that he has involvment with ow, but how much? He will never sever ties with her. He knows she isn't a capable mother or human being . He honestly feels like she carried his child and has a right to speak to him accordingly. I don't delude myself into thinking that the oc is the only thing they talk about. He separates himself from waht has happened in the past and deals with her on a daily basis. After all that she has done, he still at times considers her a friend. Why? i don't know. We spoke this morning and he said that ow's mother is going back to their country and possibly taking the oc with her. The ow will stay here and finish school. Her mother isn't coming back. So what does that say? He says he told her that she is the oc's mother and is responsible for her. He told her that if she was going to have her mother raise the baby then she shouldn't have had her. THis will all take place within the week or so. <P>I have been down the road of separation. It;s very ugly. My H thinks things are getting better and better with us daily. He is happy. When I tell him about how I am feeling, he is always surprised because we have come a very long way since last year. THings are 100% better, if you can believe it. But, obviously I can't handle the communication between them. He sees this as petty from me. THey have a child together ,therefore they will always be connected. That is his perspective. Can I live the rest of my life with that?I don't think so!

Blue,<P>Maybe ow's mom will go and take oc with her...then he can severe ties with ow without feeling guilty. he can communicate with the the one raising oc.<P>Love and Prayers<BR>bw