Some of you already know H walked out on me on Monday.<p>I dont think he plans on coming back for good. He will come tomorrow to see daughter maybe. I told him I would leave if he would come to spend time with her. She doesnt understand what is going on. Not that I really do either. If not he will be here Monday morning.<p>I asked what his plans where and he said we would talk then. I asked if his plans involved staying here and he said that he didnt know. I dont really think he plans on it. Maybe its hormones. I dont know.]<p>I am just so incredibley depressed. I want to go to sleep and never wake up unless it is from this neverending nightmare. <p>Just please pray for me to handle this. I want him back so bad. It hurts so much. I cant believe after everything he is doing this to me now.

bw, <p>I am sooo sorry to hear this! I hadn't read your original thread. (((BW)))<p>I don't know you very well, but from what I do know, I know that you can handle anything. Anything. God will give you the strength and the courage and anything else you need.<p>At this time, all you can do is to make sure that you take care of yourself and your little darlings! Expecting mama's need extra care too!<p>I wish that this wasn't happening to you. You will be ok. You're an amazing woman and don't forget that!<p>If your husband doesn't come back, someday you will find someone who is as wonderful as you are and treats you the way that you deserve to be treated. <p>in peace,
tinlizzy

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BW}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I checked in tonite...I was trying to put away alot of stuff in our attic before coming on. I WILL BE ON TOMORROW NIGHT lets say about 9:30 10:00pm? Hang in there...you have been through so much and have made it so far. Your strength and support have meant soooooo much to me and to be honest with you I don't think I would have made it this far without you and our talks. I open my "cyber" arms to you as you have done for me so many times and give you a great {BIG HUG}. I'll look for you tomorrow. H is still traveling so maybe we can even chat live?
until then
NGU

Dear BW, Please hold on. It sounds like your life has just gotten harder. It is hard, but you can do this....you can stand up tall, and face what happens. Because right now you must focus on two little people who are totally dependent upon you, your little girl and the baby growing inside of you. I remember hitting rock bottom while I was pregnant with my son and wanting to end it, but I knew that little boy had a right to become the person he was created to be. I owed him the chance to come into this world and be somthing special. He is only 8 years old now, but he has truly been the greatest gift I have been given. He is my best friend and supporter.
He also gave my husband time to re-evaluate what was going on in our lives.
I was in Ky at the time, but I don't believe that TX is different. No judge will grant a divorce while you are pregnant. Only after the baby is born will courts grant divorce. That gives you time to get into counseling.
Make a deal, he supports you emotionally while you are pg and goes to counseling (productively) and if he still wants out, you'll let him go. Separate, but hold him to this. Also, sadly separation is money and business, the first step to a divorce. so you want to GO BIG into this situation.
YOu want the meanest lawyer you can find. I am sorry, I may draw fire here, but you want to take him to the cleaners now. Make him pay the maximum you can get and YOU WANT IT ALL!!. What you accept in a separation agreement a judge might believe you can accept after a divorce. If you get to divorce use all your weapons, because divorce is not about love but about business, the business of survival, yours.
I hope you can work things out, but you have to take steps to protect yourself and your children. <p>When I started playing hardball, talking divorce, what he would be giving up emotinally and financially I got his attention. When I reminded him that in our case he would be divorcing me and his children. Because if had ended it I was coming home to TX while he lived in Ky and who knew where.(Colorado or NC with his sweetie) I would let him have the children as required, but I would not fund their visits.
I did once offer to let him sleep on the couch wherever I lived if wanted to visit the kids. (I figured his sweetie would not be happy about that, I wanted to rattle her cage.)
Luckily, we did not ever get to that, but I got his attention. I hope this helps
More than anything, know all here are praying for you. You can handle this, I know it. Just throw your shoulders back, look yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself "I am Broke Wings and there is nothing I cannot do if choose to do it"
then you DO IT!
Please hold on. (((())))
TG<p>PS you are in Harris County, right?

BW,
I know this can't help you to feel any better, but i am sooo very depressed and wish that i too, would just fall asleep and never wake up, unless it is waking up from this nightmare. <p>We, unfortunately, do not have it in our power to make these men do the right thing when we know they are really blowing it! But what we do have the power to do is continue praying for the desires of our heart. I have resolved myself to accept that if i pray for something that i know correlates with the will of God - and i know God wants marriages to be blessed - and if i pray for my h and i to be blessed in marriage, daily and just pray for everything surrounding our marriage to be blessed... Well, if i pray and pray and the end result is a broken marriage that ends in divorce - then i have confidence that God knows BEST. <p>Do i like it when He doesn't answer my prayers the way i want them answered? No. Do i trust Him when he doesn't answer my prayers the way i want them answered? Yes. It doesn't make the pain go away or lessen it at all, but there is a glimmer of peace that shines through sooo much turmoil. <p>BW, I know you're hurting, we all feel for you and know that all marriages are never immune from h's walking out, not even solid Christian marriages. I can't bear to think about spending 1 day without my h, but i just may spend the rest of my life without him... sigh... <p>I'm thinking about you and praying for you. Try your best to take care of yourself, i know it's not easy. To give you a glimpse into my day yesterday (i didn't post about it), but there is now 1 broken mirror and 1 broken lamp to add to the broken items! Just want you to remember that there is someone out there in the world who is not going to let you go through this alone. Remember to that God says that we can surrender everything to Him and that includes PAIN. Ask Him to take it, and then feel his big, strong, gentle, loving arms holding you.<p>Hang in there,
Julia

BW,
I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. I don't know why he's doing this, either. <p>I was just reading my Daily Word magazine; here's some thoughts for Monday:<p>I have faith that God is with me now!<p>The love of God is surrounding me and I am at peace.<p>God's loving, protecting presence is with me always.<p>"He sustained him in a dsert land, in a howling wilderness waste; he shielded him, cared for him, guarded him as the apple of his eye." --Deuteronomy 32:10<p>Hang in there, BW. We care about you and your family.
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Hugs and angel wings,
J

Hey there Broken_Wings, my old friend,
What is happening to you is truly heartbreaking. I know the feeling of going to sleep and never waking up. I think it was Flowerseed who first answered me when I was feeling like that. It helped me to stop and think.<p>I like TexasGirls suggestion a lot.<p>My H was thinking he could call all the shots until I gained enough courage to call a divorce lawyer whose nick-name is "cut-throat". H couldn't imagine I'd consider divorcing him after all the months I said I wanted it to work!<p>It forced him into a reality check.<p>I can say I did keep the appointment just-in-case.<p>Things improved greatly, not fully, from there on out.<p>Also it seems to give you a little power, sorta like "superwoman", knowing you have options.<p>You have given and given BW, it's time to get a pair of bal*s and plan b!<p>It isn't easy, actually, it's sickening trying to go on w/o going crazy. The longer you do go on the stronger you become. I promise you that even if you still love him, plan b allows you to see you can survive w/o him. Then you have choices!<p>Offer him the counseling. If not, plan b and see an attorney to get things in writing to help out you and your growing family.<p>Above all else, let that permanent sleeping thought leave your mind. God hears you BW! Pray for peace! God will lead you to it.<p>love
Debi

BW,<p>I am so sorry that you are going through this at this time for you! I don't really know what to say, other than I am praying for you, and will continue to do so!<p>Love,<p>Tigger

BW,
I am thinking of you and praying for you.
I hope to see you online tonight and catch up with you.
This too shall pass. You will be ok. You will go through this and God is always with you.
It's rough now, but after every storm is a rainbow and I know that there are blessings coming to you.
Hang in there, dear sister...my heart grieves with you. I'm here for you. You know how to reach me, ok?<p>Hugs,
Twiisty

Dear BW,<p>My heart is breaking with you...but all
our prayers are helping you from a distance.<p>Try to stay strong. Love, fluke

Broken wings, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Please stay strong and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I will be looking for you, hope to speak with you soon. Please take care of yourself. You have always been there for me and I hope I can help you and give you the same support and comfort I have received from you. I will be looking for you on-line. Peace and love to you, your friend Gabi

Just wanted to say something re: divorces granted when you are pregnant. Someone posted a statement here that "no judge will grant you a divorce while you are pregnant...". I disagree...I thought that once too, until my divorce was granted when I was 5 months pregnant. It was made clear in the petition for divorce that I was pregnant and that it was my husbands baby. Unfortunately, I beleived no judge would grant the divorce either, and now I am struggling to pay medical bills because insurance, support, etc were not part of the divorce action.<p>Good luck and may God bless you - my heart goes out to you.

BW, I am so sorry that things are so horrible for you. <p>I will be online tonight and I hope we can get together to chat. I really appreciate your support in my situation and I would like to give you support in return.<p>{{{broken_wings}}}

BW,<p>Just wanted you to know, you're in my thoughts and prayers.<p>Unsure

BW,<p>I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers also.<p>Hold on for your daughter. She needs you especially at this confusing time in her life.<p>Are you currenlty in counseling? If not, you might want to look for someone, especially someone trained in congnitive therapy or even Dialecitcal Behavioral Therapy. Cognitive works on the thought part of it and dialectical helps us reinforce boundaries, practice self-care, etc. <p>Love,
MJ

I think the enemy is trying to make you feel defeated but you are not. Maybe he gets the inning, but you win the game. God already set it up. Keep fighting the good fight of faith. You need your faith operating for your kids' sakes.<p>Your H has lost his mind, walking out on his family. Don't try to figure out why he did this because there is no good reason or explanation that would ever make it okay. Be strong (in the Lord) for your kids. God will get you through this.