Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1
Junior Member
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1 |
My husband had an affair 6 years ago. Our marraige has lasted but I cannot trust him. I don't know what triggered the affair so I don't know if it will ever happen again. I haven't been faithful to him in an effort to protect my feelings from being hurt again. I've tried to end the affair but everytime I try, I can't follow through with ending it. What's wrong with me?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 6
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 6 |
I don't think anything is wrong with you. I don't believe I can help but you may want to post this under the infidelity section. You may get more helpful response. Keep trying and good luck.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150 |
Definitely go to the Infidelity board. Many people there will have better words of wisdom than you will find on this board - primarily because there are MANY more people there.
You are not alone.
I have never been in your situation so my first reaction is that counseling will probably be necessary - both individual and couple counseling - for completer healing.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457 |
Hello,
Do you understand what you are doing? Your husband had an affair on you 6 years ago and you feel you cannot trust him. What do you do about it but continue to be in affair yourself and are unable to break it? You say you do not trust your husband but why should your husband trust you?
Is this really how you wish to live your life?
I suggest that you be honest with your husband about your affair and send a No Contact letter to the OM. Immediately get you and your husband into marriage counseling and deal with these affairs.
By you continuing to be in an affair will only lead to more separation from your husband and ultimately to the destruction of your marriage.
Please think about your have written: "I don't trust my husband who had an affair 6 years ago...and I continue to be in affair but cannot break it off." What is wrong with this picture? If it was wrong for him to cheat on you 6 years ago; why it acceptable for you to continue to cheat on him today? I am sorry but you are not any morally superior than he is. If you want to establish a strong marriage you cannot remain in an affair. If you cannot do this then why not seek a divorce. If you have children, is this the way you wish them to view marriage? I wish you luck.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
570
guests, and
66
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
