As I value your opinions on this board, I have a question for you, from a friend of mine.

She is also in our situation... but afraid to come forward on our board.

She, like so many of us are doing or have done, is waiting for the OC to be born.

She and her H have come along way... the baby was due a week or so ago... and my friend has just seen exOW, from a distance, and she has not delivered as yet.

My friend has reached the point that she has forgiven the A... but is now concerned about the child.
She is not worried about cs... just wants to know if OC is her H's.

Here is her Question...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Do think it would hurt to email her and ask the paternity. Like....
"I don't want to cause any problems for you and your family. I just want to know if you still think H is the father?"</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I will relay any answers that you all can give.

Thanks! For me and my friend...

Stacia,
I am not sure I would believe what OW has to say. Would she belive what OW tells her?

Dawn

Stacia,

Logically, I say leave well enough alone. Is ow pursing cs and obligation to this child? I emailed my ow and it started a wide arrange of problems. Usually there isnt much they can say that will make you feel better.

What if she says "yes" she still feels it is Hs? Then what?

What if she says "no"? What then?

Maybe the question to ask your friend is what those answers would mean for her and if the answer remains the same for both then leave the responsiblity on ow to make trouble in your friends life. Dont bring the trouble to yourself. Know what I mean? I hope I am making sense. I had a really late night last night with my own issues and Im not sure I am making any sense now or last night.

Love
bw

The "ostrich" approach worked best for me. I pretended it wasn't my husband's and that it was all just a bad dream and not true and waited for the OW to jump through all the legal hoops and waited for the DNA results before I borrowed trouble and had my meltdown.

I spent all those months of her pregnancy focusing on my husband and on our marriage and working to get us right because I suppose I knew in my heart the results would be positive but needed some time to 'prepare' for the news.

Catnip =^^=