Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 4
Junior Member
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 4 |
Does anyone have any thoughts on how or even whether you should keep your children updated on your and your spouse's "progress" in rebuilding a marriage shattered by an affair? <br>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 115
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 115 |
Children tend to blame themselves for everything that goes wrong between their parents. I feel strongly that there has to be some communication to the kids that the chaos and anger is NOT their fault. They need to be reassured that their parents will always love them and take care of them, no matter what.<p>I also feel that parents' sexuality is something kids should not be exposed to at all, ever, period. They should see the affection and love between parents, but not sex. Anything related to sexuality should remain private between the adults involved. Including the details of adultery.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 78
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 78 |
Parizade;<p>I agree with you about sexuality between adults should beprivate and not discussed with the kids. What about introducing them to your girlfriend after divorce? I have already done this and they all fell in love with her immediately. It really bothered me. I realized that they had a great need for female acceptance. <p>My 12 year old daughter broke into tears a few nights ago and told me she missed mommy.<br>I hugged her for about a half and she has said nothing since then. What should I say to her that would help?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 115
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 115 |
If you have internet access from home, your daughter can "talk" with her mom every day via e-mail, chat rooms, etc. It's not the same as living with mom, but there is no reason she needs to be isolated from her mother's love. Encourage your daughter, and all your kids, to stay in contact with Carol.<p>I learned the hard way that children form emotional bonds much more quickly than adults. I would advise all single parents to keep their boyfriends/girlfriends away from the kids until the wedding date is set. Then read lots of books about blended families before you start building a step-parent relationship. <p>Because your kids will start thinking of any woman you go out with as a potential mom, and form bonds that are very painful when broken. They've been through enough of that during the divorce.
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
1,188
guests, and
64
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
