Gee, am I considered an “oldie” now? Who would have ever thought this far down the road? CD, Gem, CATNIP!!! It was a quick jolt of pleasure to see some of those old names out there. I, and I’m sure others would also, would love to get an update from the "oldies" still lurking around.

As for me: BF and I are still going strong. We’re looking for a house together. The plan is to move by the end of summer. And (gasp), we’ve been looking at engagement rings on a more serious level. We've progressed from looking at advertisements to actually going in and looking at settings and stones. Nothing is official….but we’re definitely looking to buy. My Little Man (Jonas) is doing very well. He’s such a clown. He’ll do anything to make us laugh. His latest favorite thing is to pretend to knock himself out (walking into walls, bonking himself on the head with, of all things, a pillow), he'll fall over and lay on the floor with his eyelids fluttering. We’ll run up to him and act very worried “Is little man ok? Little Man? Little Man!”. Then we’ll start tickling him, and he just squirms and rolls with laughter. Can you believe he’ll be 3 in a few months? THREE!!! My little baby is now a toddler. Do they really have to grow up?

And on to the BS and xMM situation. So far, nothing new. I’m guessing that xMM just got back from Kuwait/Iraq, but I haven’t heard anything from them, yet. The mom in me is saying “it would be nice to know that my son’s father made it back in one piece”, but the woman in me is saying to give them their time to re-adjust. The rest will come. I have no emergency and no pressing need to “know” anything, so why stir the pot . BF continues to bring up adoption. I know he would love to adopt Jonas and make him really “his”, but I just don’t know. It would be a great gift to him and Little Man, but what to do about xMM? It’s his child. Judging from BS reaction the first time I brought it up, it was not a welcome suggestion….under any circumstances. Maybe that, too, will change with time.

Anyhow, I want to hear about you guys. I want to know how everyone is doing!

OB1

OB1,

Yes you are considered an oldie! I know you mentioned the ones like Cat, CD, and Gem, as they don't post that often, but I will add a little update of my own <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

As many of you know, it's coming up on D-day anniversary #3, and we are doing very well. There have been a few little bumps, like finding strange phone numbers on my cell bill, that were easily figured out. But, over all, we are doing well. Sailorman is having a rough time with the new way they do recruiting, but it's starting to all click and he's doing much better this month. We are even thinking of starting a bible study with MB principles at our church.

Our 2 older children are growing like weeds or flowers depending on what mood I'm in <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Our oldest is now 1/2 inch taller than I am!!!! They all grow up so fast!

Abbi's next eye appointment is on Monday to see if the latest treatment is working. I believe it is, because there are times when she's not wearing her glasses, and both eyes are straight. The funny thing is, while her left eye(the good eye) is dialated, it crosses worse than the right eye ever did! It looks funny because we are so used to her right eye being the one that's crossing.

We are past that "2 yr" mark, and I no longer fear the xOM trying to find us. Even if he did, he would have no claims, according to the state statuts that I found. It pretty much said that if there was even a remote possibility of pregnancy occuring, and xOM doesn't try to find out, or file any motions by 60 days after expected due date, and the 2 yr point passes, he can have no claim, regardless of DNA.

I've brought up testing Abbi and Sailorman, just out of curiosity, and he says it's not necessary. Abbi belongs to us, and no test can change that! He's also said that he sees her as a second chance, not only w/our M, but with being parents.

Not a whole lot more to update on our lives, as I do post often. Can't wait to read more updates from the others <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Love,

Tigger

<small>[ July 09, 2003, 12:14 PM: Message edited by: tigger4jdt ]</small>

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Tig, I luv ya! I'm glad you posted. You're right, I did want to hear from ALL oldies. I mentioned CD, Gem, and Catnip because it seems like forever since they've posted.....Catnip especially.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ohbratti1 it is so good to hear how well you and Jonas and the new hunk are doing!

I've missed all of us!

Again, with all the rain and a day off there is no swimming for me today. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Oh! Wow! It has been such a long time and we oldies sure surface when one of our friends is in trouble.
Blessings to cd and all of you.

tigger4jdt thanks for the personal update. Sounds as if you and Sailorman are doing great.

As far as me. We are doing just fine thankyou. Taking our 3rd trip this year to NewYork, NY to watch the YANKEES next week. Went to Vegas over new year, Florida in March. We are having fun for a change.
S and DIL coming too! Just 4 days but were gonna shop, eat in Little Italy, see a ballgame, ride the subway there too.
Hey guys, even during the A, H and I went to NY every year. I love and know baseball!

Harleys counselling helped us a lot this past winter as I needed help in "letting go"
Ow lives 5 minutes from us and isn't letting go. Since her oldest brother committed suicide a month ago she's laid kind of low. Her H's brother was killed on a motorcycle while we (H and I)were in florida. Her H is home for the summer. Maybe they'll reconcile. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Catnip, did you get my e-mail about what happened? UGH!!! Sorry it was so mixed up and short.

Anyway it was like old home week these past 3 days. You all take care now.

love
Debi

Well...I'm kinda like the teenager of the house...not an oldie, but definately not a newbie...we are going on our three year mark post d-day. Our update? (Thanks for driving me out of lurkdom!)

Since ex-ow and I e-mail each other occasionally to arrange payments etc. it has been civil. She has recently had a child and wants to change OC's name since her H is daddy to her child. I agree. She completely understands our side and mine hers. We aren't "buddies" but we get what needs to be done, done and she knows that I did not keep H from the OC. She understands.

Mr.T and I are doing well, our anniversary is this Sunday (13th) and he took off Sat. night to take me out to our favorite sushi place. Everything's lined up and little Lee-Lee (two months old already!!!!) will join us as she is still nursing...but it will be a fun evening.

We cleared one hurdle and realized that we've grown and changed. He was involved in another shooting at work, and I thank God he's home every day.

Dinobon will start new meds, Curly-top is fine, and mini-me and Bubba are all older now...Bubba will be either a graffiti or tattoo artist as he likes to tag my walls with his crayons and inscribed himself with a permenant black magic marker...thank God it wasn't on his face!

Things settled out of court with Wild Bill and we will be getting a significant increase. I kept it fair, as I didn't want to rob the man of a livilhood and he was a jerk anyway and made himself out to be a fool in front of our attorneys. We are still disputing the medical part (He owes us $8,000)

Things are moving on and although things are different, they are getting better. I have much to be thankful for. I'm thankful for my scumbucket hubby! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Hugs,
Twiisty

I know I am technically not an “oldie”, but not a “newbie” either… so I guess I am a “’tweener”… BUT… I do consider you a dear friend, OB1… so I thought I would reply as well.

I am now 29 wks pregnant… 11 to go! 77 days!!! Can’t believe it’s getting so close… Makes my heart swell and my eyes well up with tears! My little boy will be here soon!
Everything is going very well. I had my glucose tolerance test two wks ago and passed with flying colors! We also found that I am NOT anemic. My Doctors are very pleased with my progress and Mac’s.

My little Angel will be 2 this weekend. That’s right. Lil Bit will be 2! I can’t believe how quickly she has grown. She is truly a special little girl. Very smart. Whenever we go anywhere she asks to go see TT, a friend of ours, or she will ask to see my sister’s kids, my mom, my sister or my dad! It’s too cute. She loves her cousins and they love her.

OW has been giving up more and more time with Lil Bit. She will call and cancel pick ups or call and arrange to bring her a day early. Its beginning to become a pattern and its getting very obvious to everyone that OW has more important things to do than spend time with Lil Bit. Honestly, we don’t mind one bit that Lil Bit spends more time with us.

H and I are doing well. We are closer now than ever before. He is so very proud that we are pregnant. Daily he looks at me with such feeling… though its not about ME anymore… LOL… its all about Mac…

So good to hear that things are well with you, your bf and Jonas. Hard to believe time has moved so fast!!! I think about you often and say a little prayer for you all.

Hugs!

Ohbratti...I have missed you. I was sending you e-mail jokes for a while until your e-mail address came back undeliverable. I thought that perhaps you did indeed take the plunge, changed your name and moved to Bora Bora or somewhere exotic!

So, you are actually going into jewelry stores and trying on settings too? Just remember, the bigger the rock, the bigger the commitment (hahaha)

This is getting more serious. Especially if he is talking about adopting Jonas. Your ambivalance is justified and I do understand it. There are so many variables to consider. The most important thing is what is best for Jonas...not what makes XOM and his wife or even you more comfortable. Since Jonas is three, perhaps next year you could ask him what HE wants. Is four to young to ask such a question? I don't know... I am so out of touch with small kids.

Your life sounds so nice and peaceful, Ohbratti. I am so pleased for you and so glad to talk with you again. You sound so good.

Love

Cat

I came out of lurking to say Hi to everyone. I left the boards because the pain newbies had, it made me relive my own and in order for me to move forward in recovery I had to take a break. I&#8217;ve always felt guilty because I wanted to give the same comfort and support I received when I posted here 2 years ago.

As for an update it will be 3 years in September. Things with H and I are good. He seems to really want our marriage. I had a snag a few months ago not sure why. But I started thinking and wondering if I wanted to be with someone who cheated on me and created a child. Funny thing is that we finally haven&#8217;t had any drama from exOW it&#8217;s been a year since we heard from her. I felt that way for 3 or 4 months all the time he was staying home doing everything he was supposed to do and I was harboring ill feelings towards him. I finally talked it out with my sisters. And they brought out some valid points I then had a talk with H and we hashed things out. I love him and I&#8217;m in love with him he&#8217;s really shown that he wants our marriage. I realized that dwelling on the past is going to get me no where. I have to look at where we are at now and leave the past in the past. As for OC if exOW could grow up and act like an adult I still wouldn&#8217;t have a problem with OC being in our lives. H refuses to go through the court battle again and it&#8217;s his child not mine so I will never make the same mistake I did the first time and push for visitation.

That being said I just got back from Jamaica I really enjoyed my self a lot. ;o) Our 11th anniversary is Wed. The boys are doing great OS is starting to notice girls. (he&#8217;s 12) I&#8217;m freaking out about that but we have a really cool relationship being a young Mom has some perks. Lol We&#8217;ve talked about everything under the sun including sex of course I think I made him feel comfortable enough to ask me anything. He asked me why the male organ gets aroused! (Shocked the heck out of me.) You guys would have been proud of me I kept a straight face answered all his questions he looked relived and thanked me. YS is in the academically talented program I&#8217;m really proud of him he&#8217;s doing a great job. The baby is getting big. They gave her space maintainers that look like little teeth. LOL! She really a pretty little girl.

I hope this little spark brings the board back to what it was when I first posted a safe haven for people in pain. A place where BS could vent say what ever was on their mind and not have to worry about being attacked. It was nice to see all of my old friends posting. Zebra, Gem, Twiisty, Staci, Tigger, Catnip, OB1, NGU, MJ, and TG. I hope I didn&#8217;t miss anyone I&#8217;m sending you all cyber hugs it was nice to read all of your updates.

Unsure

Hey OB1,
Hmmm... I think yeah, 3 is a little early to be asking what he wants. Just wait til he's 17 and then he might be able to tell you what he thinks he wants!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

A lot has happened since I posted any updates, but the main thing is, OC moved out on his own this year! Everything is fine. He calls me every day. We see each other often. He stops by to eat whenever he wants to eat meat, otherwise, he pretty much lives on spaghetti. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Health issues prevented OC from completing recruitment with the Marines. OC would have joined right before the war started! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Married life is good. It's a daily adjustment. It's a conscious decision not to get feelings hurt or blow little things out of proportion. It's a daily effort to be grateful and appreciate blessings. Heck, for me, it's a daily effort to get dinner on the table!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Basically after 10 years of marriage, I'm still learning how to be a good wife and mother. MB helps me grow and learn. I'm going over my love buster tapes to keep myself programmed NOT to LB. I'm back on dayshift and working from home so that's cool. The only problem is I haven't been able to post as often but I still check in weekly. It's great seeing all you guys coming back!!! Missed ya! Anybody know where flowerseed is?

Hello Everyone,

Its been 4 yrs now for us we are doing fine.

I think when I have graduated to moldy oldie and the support payments are done with then I can truly put this behind us. That once a month remider (child support) is what keeps me from being truly happy.

One thing thats good is its not forever. 14 more yrs to go. We're still hoping nasty nellie finds a man to adopt her kid. H seems to think she will.

Business is doing GREAT every year its getting more profitable. I do believe we made it!

cd, sorry to here about your latest problems with your ex.Hopfully he gets some help. It sounds to me like he is using the kids to get at you. Seems to be the only he has left to use to get to you. Your a strong woman cd I know you'll figure out the best way to deal with this.

Hope everyone is doing O.K.

with love, flowerseed (flowersex)

It's so great to see all the oldies on the board again, but the one that bowled me over was......

FLOWERSEX I mean FLOWERSEED <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I get to chat occasionally with Zebrababy, and have seen Catnip's posts, but it's been forever since I've seen you here! I'm so glad that you're doing well! Congrats on the success of your business!

Gem,

Any more offers in Vegas for work for you and the twins? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I, too, would like to hear about your granddaughter! You could always send some of that rain out my way, we REALLY need it!

Twiisty and Stacia_lee,

Well, I guess I get daily updates from you guys <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> but it's nice to see you too.

Cat,

What, no update? Just wondering how you're doing.

Unsure,

Looks and sounds like you guys are on the right track. I agree that you need to let your H lead the way in possible contact in the future. WOW, Jamaica, I would love to go there!

BTDT,

Well, you have also come a long way, but were well on that way before you came here! How are the twins doing? Abbi's next appointment is on Mon, so I will provide that update in a seperate thread. It seems a blessing that your son couldn't join the Marines when he wanted too. Is there a possiblilty for him joining later? Being the wife of a recruiter, I understand some of the ins and outs of joining.

Again, it is great to see everyone on the boards again! Hope to see more of you all!

Love,

Tigger

Oh! My goodness UNsure! How nice to hear from you!

And Flowerseed....my lord how you took care of me in 2000....remember? Feelings are the same as yours honey! You came out of no where and posted.

We all share that common thread don't we?

StaciaLee... now honey you take care and know not one thread was meant for you. Blessings old/tweener friend!

Got to let Catnip know how much I love the ole bat, uh.. er... CAT!!!!

You were one of the first to answer me in 2000 and I'll always remember you sweetie......

BTDT I respect you.
Your road could not have been easy. I was so afraid to talk to you at first.
Your MB concepts in your own marriage have helped us all a lot. I remember you telling of a friend of yours and your H talking or something like that and how cautious you were....

Don't worry any longer...God has your butt covered!!!

Tigg...you know...you know.... XXXX to you and OB1 XXXX The best ow I ever talked to.

Love to all of the lurking oldies too.

love
Debi

I don't think I've seen this many oldies since I was a newbie and that was almost *gasp* three years ago....sheesh.....Who do I get to joke about swiss cheese decor and my infernal mustache with now? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Now we need an update from broken_wings, and trying4sainthood....am I missing anyone else?

I can't thank all you OLDIES for taking me under your wings and just listening...and I cannot ever forget the MB fund and what all y'all and many of you lurkers have done to help my family...words cannot ever express that. so a simple heartfelt THANK YOU FROM THE DEPTH OF MY SOUL to all you people (you know who you are) for helping me in my darkest time of need. I pray that I get to return the favor some day.

Haven't heard from Heavenly or Maryjanes either in a while, if you ladies are lurking, I think about you.

Unsure...it was great to read your handle on the thread and it was nice to see you again too flowerseed, you and broken_wings were the first to answer me.

*sigh*.....Catnip...shall I break out in song to the tune of the Award Winning Broadway song, (of cats no less).....ahem...mi mi mi miiiiiii.....

MEMORIES....ALL ALONG ON THE MB BOARD....WHERE THE HECK ARE MY OLDIES...I REMEMBER THEM WELLLLLLLLLL...I REMEMBER A TIME I KNEW WHAT VENTING WAS...UNTIL WE'VE ALL BEEN....LURKING AWAY....."

Um....I'm kinda rusty...hey...who threw that shoe at me...I'M TELLING!!!!!!!

Love to y'all.....
Twiisty
(dodging shoes and running for cover) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Wow flowerseed! Thanks for posting! I missed seeing your screenname, ya know?

You hang in there with the CS. It will pass so fast, you won't believe it. Trust me. Enjoy your family and your recovery. Don't let the memory of the xOW steal your present and future good memories with your family. She ain't worth it. I agree with your prayer for a nice man to adopt the OC--that would be terrific. In the meantime, God will provide for you everything you need. Your H's heart is no longer with the xOW, his heart is not in that $$ either. I bet he knows how much you guys could use that $$ and how it's all his fault that you are paying it out. He CAN'T be happy about that either! We need to also pray that xOW will not apply for any increases. Just keep the faith! That's all I can tell ya. ((HUGS)) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I just had an idea! Think of the CS as a seed, a flowerseed for the OC, that OC will NOT grow up to be what OCs mom was or do what OCs mom did--have an affair with a married person! Pray over that CS that it will be used for the purpose it is intended--for the other innocent person--that God's will would be done in their life and they will blossom into the flower they were meant to be all nurtured and pruned by GOD!!!?? What if??

My OC was unable to complete his recruitment with the Marines due to a history of asthma and a lung collapse when he was 19. The recruiters wanted us to deny any health problems, ever! OC wanted it so bad that he was willing to go along with this. Basically OC was trying to find a fast way to move out and get away from our rules and regulations and it simply backfired. (Thankfully!) He started having chest pains when they were out training (running) and that did it for him. I think it scared him.

Now, he's working, putting himself through school, and living on his own. His job is physically demanding and so he's very health-conscious and keeps in shape through lifting weights and cycling. I was proud of him for pursuing the Marines, but he later admitted to me that his motive was all wrong.

<small>[ July 11, 2003, 11:42 AM: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</small>

APB out for Miss ember...

What about (drumroll...) scarlet pumpernickel???

or, what about mina29? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Thanks, you guys!! Bunches and bunches of thanks. I think some of the newbies needed to see this. They need to know where they could be years from now. All is not lost. Life goes on...and it does get better.

Thank you to everybody who responded. It was great to hear from you. Remember when we gave each other a glimpse into our home lives and described, in detail, our homes? I know it sounds silly, but it really helped bring us a little closer to each other. It made us more "real". Twiisty, I still love the description you gave. It felt so welcoming.

I hope that we can ALL remember that we're not just words on a computer screen. We're living, breathing beings that, for all our strengths, are still fragile when it comes to the affair that has changed our lives. It's a common thread that we all share, regardless of what side we're on. If we could be just a little more tolerant....and compassionate. A little TLC goes a long way!

Luv you guys!

OB1

For those who would like to e-mail me, my address is:

***edit***
Catnip, I liked your jokes. Please add me to your distribution list, again. Gem, the updates from you were a perk...hope to get some more. Tigger, more pics of Abby, please!!!

(edited to correct typos)

<small>[ July 11, 2003, 02:45 PM: Message edited by: ohbratti1 ]</small>

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Thanks OB1!!!

XXX
Debi

It's realy nice hearing from all of you. Twiisty I miss chatting with you. ;o(

Gem I was wondering why you never showed up on AOL anymore. I figured I would shock some one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

OB1 Thanks for the update with Jonas my D turned 3 in March I didn't realize our children were the same age.

Tigger- I think we are right track. I think I'm having a mid life crisis I'll be 31 in August. lol

It was nice hearing form you guys and I hope to see some more updates when I get back. I received a promotion, I have training in MA. Anyone near Waltham, MA? My first time staying in a hotel with out the hubby and kids. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Hopefully they have a pool. lol

You are all in my thoughts and prayers even when I don't post.

Unsure

Well, I am an oldby too. But not with good news.

It has been going on 3 years for me since D Day.

H and I went through three therapists, including ?Steve Harley, to try and recover from the horror of OC and A. Whenever therapists would get too cloee to h's issues, or he would be required to make changes, he came up with a reason for stopping therapy.

In the spring, I continued in therapy with Steve by myself. H continued to see OC without my agreement and was acting as if he was single, doing what he wanted even though seeing OC without my agreement was hurting me and he knew that. He also continued to have some contact with OW, to what extent I am not sure-he says just to discuss OC-but refused to have absolutely no contact with her at all, Despite me requesting him to do this since D-day.

With STeve's support, I filed for legal separation. H was not protecting me, making me feel safe with him nor loving me in ways I needed him to. We have been separated for 2 months now, and although I always hope H will come back and work on us, without at least temporarily giving up contact with OC, as Steve suggested, I do not think he will. He is angry at me for "pushing him out of our home": and does not take responsibility that his actions pushed himself out the door.WE have young kids who worry divorce is imminent.And we are already arguing about visitation issues. et.

I went to court to get legal rights to child support, and H is angry about that.He is realizing the court decides many things, not just him, and he is angry about that. Angry for me making it a legal separation vs. informal separation.

He moved to a rented room, in what I thought was from strangers, only to find out more than a month later he found the place through OW. They are her friends. I now will not let children to his rented room, and he is very angry about that.

He gets more and more angry with me, without realizing his choices caused all this- he is dumping on me, not on himself. He won't take the position he made some wrong choices that has just about killed a marriage of over 25 years.

His family knows all about this, and were shocked and saddened, mainly for me and our kids. My MIL is supporting me, as are the rest of h" relatives, but he doees not care. doesn't care no one is taking his position. It is very sad to see the man I have loved for so long become like this. He is not the same man, at all.

I don't post much at all, although lurk, as my OW reads my stuff and knows my moniker. It is not safe.But I do miss you all, and would like to email individually.

I am so happy for all of you whose marriages are healing and working. I wish I was in your group!

this feels just like a reunion doesn't it?

I do remember sharing all the home stories, how it brought us just a bit closer.

Unfortunately I am one of the few that did not make it. I tried for 2 years, but a long time A is very difficult to let go of. But I guess for WS it was easier to let go of 28 years of marriage. 2 weeks divorced now. I am hurt, bitter, and angry. I have a good therapist helping get thru the stages.

On the bright side I replaced my WS/Ex with a little pug puppy. Doesn't take up much bed space,is very affectionate, but he does snore. He is keeping me occupied, just wish it wasn't at 2am for nightly piddle sessions outside. It's been a long time since there was a baby in the house.

So nice to hear all your updates.

Tina