BTDT,
It has gotten much easier then in the past. Now I usually am upset for the day that I have to send that check out instead of a week.

No more long drawn out thoughts of seeing my h strung up by his you know what’s <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> . It just seems to bring the anger back at my h. After a nights sleep he is safe again <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> .

I remember you saying quit some time ago that God will provide. I think it was over a year or more ago. At the time I really didn’t think so. We would have maybe $70.00 a week after the cs was taken out. You know what you were right things do work out. Your words keep me hanging in there many a times, or should I say kept h from hanging.

So far so good about ow coming after for more. I really don’t think she can sense h is no longer employed. At least they can't garnish his paychecks and leave us with nothing anymore. It’s been two years now since I started the business. We pay the same amount that was set from the beginning. The amount is fair I just wanted to make sure we keep it that way.

Gem,
glad to hear the twins are doing fine. Are you moving I thought I read that at one time? I have been here just not saying anything getting sick of starting a riot every time I post. I have to second you about Tigger, BTDT, OB1 you ladies help more then you'll ever know. We love ya!

Tigger,
Abby must be really growing up. I bet she is so cute. I remember her baby pics. I believe she was our first baby, at least sense I have been here. It seems like we waited for ever for you to get that over with. Just Imagine an oc that all us bitter, angry ,hateful old bats couldnt wait to be born <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

Catnip,
It’s got to get lowered this time. I get so frustrated for you. Let us know about your book when its pub I would love to read it.

With love, flowerseed

Flowersex,

Sorry, I just love that name, especially how it ended up being your nickname! Anyway, yes, Abbi is growing VERY fast! She's such a joy to us all! I don't know if you knew about her eye problems, but she does wear glasses due to her right eye crossing. We've gone through 3 different prescriptions, including 5 months of bifocals! Her next appointment is Monday, and we'll know if dialating her left(good) eye has been working to strengthen her right eye. I do remember all the posts directed to me after I would post something as it got closer to my due date. What a month that was!!!!

I was actually looking at Sailorman's old posts, and since he's rarely posted anymore, it was a lot about that time, including the announcement of her birth! I do believe that she was the first for the board, and has continued to be the "mascott" if you will <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Well, I need to get the mascott to bed, as we are getting up early to drive 2 hours to get to Sailorman's Aunts home. He's been in IL this week, and his plane arrives at 8:09, and we are going to spend the day with his aunt and uncle.

Have a good night,

Love,

Tigger

UNSure I suppose I can go and download IM from AOL, I just am not on the computer a long time in the evenings. Usually on my "rainy" days off or right after work, or as today Sunday mornings.

Plus I'm the typo queen, as Zebrababy once said. By the time I respond to the first message with you girls, a whole other conversation is written. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Flowerseed we were going to move to put distance between us and the seemingly always present ow. We had couples begining to look at our home.

A day or two after the first few people came through, my H asked what he could do to allow us to stay here. We've been here since 1978. He explained knowing why it was important to me and if it's what I truly wanted we'd move.

I asked him to move his office out of the plaza it was in and move it back to it's original space in our basement. When I would go file, do payroll, type proposals, OW would see me and almost always make her and oc's presence known to me by visiting beauty shop next door to the office. I would see her pull up and park in front of the large window of the office, go into the shop for about 2 minutes and leave....very often...

I asked him if we could ask Steve Harleys opinion, and ask for ways to help me deal with things. I REALLY only wanted distance. I don't even walk in my neighborhood because of the run in we had last spring. I made yet another police report when ow elbowed me and called me a loser as I was walking one day.

We finally had the prosecutor send her a warning letter. She stll did things you can't pay a fine for, ya know? Bold.

We counseled with Steve. My H moved his office home before we counseled, in fact he did it over the next 2 days after we talked.

Steve talked mostly to my H. He told me I'd see changes in my H because he equiped him with new skills to help me with those constant triggers.

I have seen the changes.

We also ripped all the carpets out and refinished the old hardwood floors so it's hardwood throughout our home. (saw where K is doing this I think).

We are getting new countertops, kitchen appliances, bathroom vanities, and a few other "facelift" things to update our home.

Except for what happened between us a short time ago (see my post under welcome back to Catnip), things have been much better with me.

Flowersex it is so good to hear from you again. I'm about where you were when you used to post to me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Remember the song "At Last" by Etta James? H swept me up and danced with me when it came on the radio the other day....just like he used to.

Things are well again.
Tina the new puppy sounds so cute....now go get twins. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
XXX
Debi

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

OK, better late than never?????

I tell you what. This thread is truely an oldies dream. The memories that rushed back just reading your names on the same thread. Some of you I see on aol or aim. But having us all together on the thread feels like old times.

What an awesome group of strong, caring, wonderful women. How lucky we all were to have occupied the same cyber space and help each other through the most tramatic times in our lives.

BTDT, you brought tears to my eyes with </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Think of the CS as a seed, a flowerseed for the OC, that OC will NOT grow up to be what OCs mom was or do what OCs mom did--have an affair with a married person! Pray over that CS that it will be used for the purpose it is intended--for the other innocent person--that God's will would be done in their life and they will blossom into the flower they were meant to be all nurtured and pruned by GOD!!!?? What if?? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Everyonce in a while I pray for our faux OC and hope she has a good life despite the family she was born into.

OK, for my update. As ya'll know I got a promotion that relocated my family to a new city in the northern part of our wonderful country. We are far far away from memories of the OW and that aweful experience years ago. We have an unlisted number and our phone rarely rings 5 times in one week. Only our closest friends and family know how to get ahold of us.

I'm so thrilled to be in the place we are. Let me tell you about my neighborhood and home.

We found a 4 bedroom 2.5 bath home that we could have never afforded in Georgia. It's a two story 3 year old home that sits on a HUGE lot. The backyard is fenced in and big enough for the kids and dog to roam wild and free! The house came with a jungle gym for the kids in the backyard.

The decor was/is very plain and white. So decorating options are endless! There's no deck or landscaping to speak of so we'll get to do it all just the way we want!

I began painting about four days before the furniture arrived and it turned out fabulous. My mom and MIL both came to help me. We sewed and painted non-stop for four days. Barely stopping to sleep and eat.

We painted our bedroom a lush plum color. Our duvet and curtains are cream with small flowers that pull the color from the walls. In the winter I will switch to a heavier fabric in gold/cream/plum and dark green tones. In the next couple of months we will put up crown molding in there too.

My son's room has two walls yellow, two walls blue and the trim is in red. All with a sports theme. I painted wooden letters in red that are hung with blue/red/yellow ribbon on the yellow wall between the two windows. The bedding has the same primary colors and all his sports stuff adornes the room. The curtains are red with a yellow and blue random vertical stripe. They are cut cafe style. I ordered a sports light switch plate for his room.

My daughters room has a scallop design separating the top half of the room from the bottom half. The top half is lavendar. The bottom half is a light green. There are pink polka dots on the top half and the inside of the closet is painted pink. Her duvet is pink gingham, her curtains green gingham cut to the floor and her sheets lavendar gingham. There are wooden letters in pink over her bed tied with the gingham ribbon. I ordered a special ballerina light switch plate to top off her "fit for a princess" room.

And finally I painted the dining room a rich butternut color that compliments my dark cherry stained dining room furniture.

The only room that was already painted is the kitchen. It was the most aweful baby blue faux paint I have ever seen in my life. My husband and I cannot agree on a color for this room so it stays blue for now. I'm hoping if I hold out he'll just give in! But meanwhile I'm enjoying the beautiful pergo floors in the kitchen and front foyer.

The basement is unfinshed. More endless opportunities there.

The neighborhood and neighbors are awesome. We live on a cul-de-sac. Every family on the street has children our kids age and older (teens to baby sit!). All the kids get along fabulously and I never see my kids before dark. LOL.

The parents are GREAT. They men are super handy and have all helped each other build their decks and build brink flower beds in the fronts of their houses. After the first week they offered to help us do the same. Any time they see you out working on anything on your house they come over to lend a hand. Everyone hangs out at each other's houses in the evening. And they do a pot luck a couple of nights a week. Everyone is mindful of each other's children and it's not uncommon to see a mom or dad doing a kid check to make sure everyone is hydrated, fed, and happy.

I am truely in HEAVEN. One neighbor is a used car dealer and is looking for a Tahoe to sell me at wholesale. The other is a mortgage broker who is discussing teaching my husband the business so he can make a career swith. (that guy is PAID!)

Last weekend we spent sunday (after church) at one neighbor's house. The men were in the garage building adorandeck (spelling?) chairs and tables from scratch. The women sat in the driveway in our lounge chairs chatting and reading home and garden magazines, while the kids played with each other. When dinner time came we threw hotdogs and hamburgers on the grill.

LIFE IS GOOD.

My job is awesome. I get to travel a few times a month. I went to Houston, Texas and Louisville, Kentucky last week. I'm heading to Kansas and back to Atlanta in a few weeks. The work is stimulating and I get holidays and weekends off! It's so nice to be out of stores.

So that's my new life in a nutshell. H and I are happier than ever. And continue to fall deeper and deeper in love every day. We constantly are in awe at what God has blessed us with. We realize that ALL these wonderful things have happened only from his grace. We continue to give him ALL the glory and the praise.

Thank you to all who have read my long long book. I am so happy and wanted to share it all with you guys.

Lets do the scheduled oldie private chat again soon. Anyone got any day/time preferences!?! (And Gem, we'll type slow for you!)

Miss you all,
Z.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by zebrababy:
[QB]

We found a 4 bedroom 2.5 bath home that we could have never afforded in Georgia. It's a two story 3 year old home that sits on a HUGE lot. The backyard is fenced in and big enough for the kids and dog to roam wild and free! The house came with a jungle gym for the kids in the backyard.

=^^= How lovely! You must have wonderful karma to be so blessed, Zebra. You must have done some wonderful things in your previous lives...

We painted our bedroom a lush plum color. Our duvet and curtains are cream with small flowers that pull the color from the walls. In the winter I will switch to a heavier fabric in gold/cream/plum and dark green tones. In the next couple of months we will put up crown molding in there too.

=^^= I just installed 4" crown molding throughout my entire house and I can't believe what a difference it makes. It really finishes off a room and makes it cozier and kind of "elevates" it to another level. Your colors sound lucious.

the inside of the closet is painted pink.

=^^= It never occurred to me to paint the inside of my closets. I suppose I should because it is more civilized or something...haha. Well, now you've done it. Now I am going to agonize over the fact that all my closets are flat white and scuffed up inside and paranoid someone will see it.

Her duvet is pink gingham, her curtains green gingham cut to the floor and her sheets lavendar gingham. There are wooden letters in pink over her bed tied with the gingham ribbon. I ordered a special ballerina light switch plate to top off her "fit for a princess" room.

=^^= That is so charming.

And finally I painted the dining room a rich butternut color that compliments my dark cherry stained dining room furniture.

=^^= This room sounds absolutely wonderful...describe "butternut" for me. Is it the color of dark butterscotch pudding? I just painted my family room and the stairwell going down to it that color and I love it. I was scared of it at first thinking it was too much of a risk and intense, but, hey, so am I; so there. Perfect.

The only room that was already painted is the kitchen. It was the most aweful baby blue faux paint

=^^= Ugh. Blue belongs in the sky, in the water and in eyes, and perhaps on a '72 Karman Ghia...not in or on a house (JMO) My first house was an obnoxious French Blue so I have strong opinions on the color blue. I just painted an office area off the diningroom a gorgeous dark sage green. When I was finished I realized it would have been a perfect "kitchen" color, too.

The neighborhood and neighbors are awesome. We live on a cul-de-sac. Every family on the street has children our kids age and older (teens to baby sit!). All the kids get along fabulously and I never see my kids before dark.

The parents are GREAT. They men are super handy and have all helped each other build their decks and build brink flower beds in the fronts of their houses. After the first week they offered to help us do the same. Any time they see you out working on anything on your house they come over to lend a hand. Everyone hangs out at each other's houses in the evening. And they do a pot luck a couple of nights a week. Everyone is mindful of each other's children and it's not uncommon to see a mom or dad doing a kid check to make sure everyone is hydrated, fed, and happy.

=^^= Wow...what a place! It seems you have reached your own personal nirvana and I couldn't be happier for you. You certainly deserve it.

I am truely in HEAVEN.

=^^= It appears so!

LIFE IS GOOD.

My job is awesome. I get to travel a few times a month. The work is stimulating and I get holidays and weekends off!

=^^= I think this is one of the more rewarding threads I have read in a long time...thanks so much for sharing all this incredible news with us...it shows others that someday, somehow, perhaps newbies will see there is life, and a good one, after the mess.

H and I are happier than ever. And continue to fall deeper and deeper in love every day. We constantly are in awe at what God has blessed us with. We realize that ALL these wonderful things have happened only from his grace. We continue to give him ALL the glory and the praise.

=^^= THE KEY...praise and gratitude to the Lord. You are practicing the MB principles in your life with great success to protect yourselves from becoming complacent.

This has been inspiring, Z. Thanks

Love

Cat

QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

zb,
Your new neighborhood and home sound wonderful! I have been in this neighborhood for over 4 years and I don't even know my neighbors very well! I'm ashamed after reading how neighborly your neighborhood is!! I only have the phone numbers of 3 of my neighbors?

Recently I asked a favor of one of my neighbors, and he said NO! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Another across-the-street neighbor dumped their big empty box on my front yard but the recycle guy didn't take it because it wasn't broken down. I was so annoyed that their trash was on my lawn that I took that box right back across the street and left it on their lawn (where it belonged)! I saw their address on the label on the box... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

I'm embarrassed to confess my sin of unneighborliness(sp?) to you. Pray for me! I need help! <seriously!>

I think I know the names of my neighbors 2 houses across and 2 houses on either side and that's about it! I REALLY need to improve after reading your update!!! WOW!

<small>[ July 15, 2003, 11:55 AM: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</small>

Oh Cat my dear friend. Yes you are right I am truely blessed. And yes, I must have done some great things in my past lives. But I must admit, I did some pretty great things in this life too.

The one that jumps right to the front of my mind is ... remember when we gave our crib and second couch set to the OW because she and the OC shared a bed while the other three kids slept in sleeping bags on the floor. The baskets and baskets of food, clothes and toys we took to their home, not just for OC, but for her other three illegitimate children as well. And when we found out OC was not my husband's child we didn't ask for a dime towards all the CS and things we gave her. We took the high road and considered it apart of our tithe and offering to God's kingdom. For things like that I feel I am now being truely rewarded.

The color in the dining room reminds me of the color of a butternut squash. That's why I call it butternut. Can't remember it's original name. It's a Sherwin Williams color though.

Painting the insides of the closets is something I like to do. It looks so fresh when you open the doors. Especially in the children's closets where the clothes don't hit the floor. You see much more wall in their closets than in our closets.

And yes Cat, I do tell my story so that others will see there can be happiness on the other side of this dark experience. By having faith in God, by healing and improving yourself, and meeting your spouses EN. I like to think of it as tuning an instrument. Once you hit the sweet spot it sounds oh so good. I feel like we have massaged our marriage into the sweet spot. And it sounds and feels so good.

BTDT, I don't shame you. I lived in our old neighborhood and only knew the parents my kids were friends with. Then we got a dog and I met all of the dog owners (on potty trips)!

But I tell you, it's the people in this neighborhood that initiated this atmosphere. I probably would have never made the "first move". But once you see them offering themselves up, you feel so good about returning the gesture. It feels great to know we are all here for each other.

So perhaps you should be the one to make the first gesture. How about baking cookies next weekend and delivering them to a couple of neighbors you don't know .... and the one with the box too? Some will respond and some won't, but I promise the ones that do will make you feel like a hundred bucks.

Talk to ya'll soon,
Z

I'll take a turn. Stacia contacted me through private email and told me this discussion was going on. It is good to hear that old friends are dropping by.

Cat, best of luck in court. Glad to hear that BpB is doing so well.

Things are great for us. The boys are a dream. They are so easy going, obedient, never argue with each other, do lots of chores, are loving and all good things you could say about kids. Each one spends at least an hour a day in my arms or the arms of their Papa. We continue with horrible stories of abuse that they have suffered, but this ugly stories come out, they are upset for a couple of hours and they are back to themselves. We have decided not to get them counseling right away because they are functioning so well. At some point they will need it, when they are older and have a greater capability to think abstractly. Our counselor and our family doctor are in agreement that for now, for the first time in their lives, we should just let them be kids.

Mr. J is doing very well. He is on an anti-depressant and goes to counseling every week. He says that he still suffers terribly because of what he did, but it shows much less on the outside. He is a good and involved parent, he helps around the house, his business is on solid ground, he works diligently, all the things I need to help fill my love bank. We are finally able to meet all our bills on time, no more borrowing from the retirement funds to make the mortgage. It will be years until we clear up the debt, but we will get there w/out filing bancruptcy (I think).

They say you should never bring children into a troubled marriage, but our boys have been a huge blessing for us. We were so stuck looking backwards at what had gone wrong. The boys have given us a common goal, a reason to look forward and a real way to admire each other as parents. It has been the kick start we needed. Of course, much of the pain we endured was over the loss of our boys, so maybe it makes sense that their miraculous restoration in our lives would fix some of the hurt.

Tina, I am sorry for your pain. When I left the board, I knew that this was where things we headed. Hold your head up darling. You did not fail, you were not the unfaithful one and when faced with the hideous pain of being betrayed you did everything in your power to restore the marriage. Be proud of yourself, we are all proud of you.

Oh yeah, today is our 21st anniversary. Dopey me! we are babysitting the neighbors 4 kids tonight but we get free babysitting on Saturday and will be going out for our first date alone since the boys arrived 16 months ago!

Please pray for me. I need will power and strength. I have gained back much of the weight I lost two years ago and I feel like I have so little control over my eating. The good news is that I have established great exercise habits 4 or 5 times a week to the gym and activities with the boys on the weekends.

Love,
MJ

<small>[ July 17, 2003, 09:12 AM: Message edited by: MaryJanes ]</small>

Mary Janes

What wonderful news from you this morning. So many have asked about you and wondered how things were going.

The way you are loving your boys into mental health is nothing short of miraculous...and probably more effective than any counselor or shrink could afford them. Allowing them to vent their sadness, anger and disappointments are invaluable therapy sessions. These boys are going to be OK, MJ.

I'm so glad that Mr. J has turned a corner and that your life seems to be more manageable. I keep thinking I must have broken a mirror a few years ago (haha) and my time fo difficulty is nearly over and life will become more manageable for me day by day as we get closer to the last anniversary of that fateful day when said mirror crashed to the bathroom tile.

However, court won't happen...we can't afford it and the Hearing Examiner/Officer has refused Bipolar a telephone testimony. Since we cannot afford the airfare, hotel and transportation or time away from work, I am assuming she will call for his incarceration for being in contempt of court. Oh well. We'll just put him in a funny nose and glasses and have him speak with an accent when the sheriff appears.

The amazingly weird thing about this is that they already garnish over 65% of his weekly pay...we cannot figure out why they are demanding his presence knowing he has no money to travel. What more do they want?

Catnip =^^=

Catnip, is there no way you could take her to court in your curent state? this is so unfair.
I know this has been the frustration all along, the one sidedness of your situation.
Like you I thought you were finally going to be able to get on top of things.
sorry to hear about this.
Well good luck and keep on keeping on <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
You will prevail for you are the CAT

TG
NO longer in Dallas area, but now in Houston,TX
Glad to be home.

The only state more liberal than NY is Minnesota. Both states have us tied six ways to Tuesday. MN says they have no jurisdiction and all the old laws for alienation and others like that have been stricken from the books as has NY.
Both states shift the blame/jurisdiction from one another...when it is convenient for them, yet MN "bills" us for payments and arrears yet NY court is aggressively harassing us.

If our entire income and all assets were calculated according to either MN or NY state, we would not be owing in excess of $25,000 in arrears...we would be eligible for a CREDIT of $19,497.00 because of all the overpayments from DAY 1. In fact, Bipolar is garnished between 80 and 200% of his paycheck every single week. I thought it was around 65% but that is only when he has worked some overtime.
And now they insist he incur further debt so he can appear before him in their NY kangaroo court so they can check out his "demeanor". I thought CS was figured via mathematics...not personality or demeanor.

From what our attorney tells us, the only way out of this is to take it to Federal Court. He has already been paid $2700 and we are no further today than where we were in April when we first contacted him. Before he does anything else, he wants another $2000.

He tells us that he is 95% sure that the HO will dismiss the case since Bipolar can't be at court and will refuse his telephone testimony even though we are sending ALL documentation in our possession including all tax returns, bankruptcy papers, psychological and hospital reports, all earings statements etc. etc. etc.

Telephone testimonies were designed for this exact purpose...to enable people out of state who cannot afford to travel and opportunity to be heard.

The only one in contempt here is the courts. They are corrupt, biased and evil to the core. They are in violation of the laws and the constitution. What they are doing is nothing short of creating undue/unnecessary hardship, emotional distress and make our future look very bleak indeed. What they are doing is so incredibly wrong, I even wrote to a senator in NY asking for help. Next step is a letter to members of the supreme court. I am writing endless letters to anyone I can think of who might be able to help. The men's rights groups I have written to have not been helpful, so I really don't know where to turn. For some reason this corrupt court system is allowed to continue unchecked with all the consideration going to the OW. I know they will love hearing this on that other board because all I have ever read is "get the MONEY" "get the MONEY".

I am making an awful lot of noise and expect to get some attention soon.

Thanks for caring and asking, Tex. I just can't believe this...it is like one of those nightmares when everything is a brick wall and no one is there to make it right. And it hasn't stopped for one minute since this started five years ago. Sometimes I think I am losing my mind. I find myself feeling things I never thought I was capable of, but we are being pushed and pushed and pushed. How can they get away with this? I just don't understand. It's not like they don't know our business, our earnings, our situation. But, they inflict further hardship at every turn. Why can't they just calculate what is actual earnings/assets and be done with it and adjust the arrears retroactively to reflect his actual wages for the past four years. I would have no argument with that.

Now I am on a roll so I will close.

I have some really good news to but can't post it so if you could post an e-mail address, I will get back to you with this information.

Cat

<small>[ July 22, 2003, 09:11 AM: Message edited by: catnip ]</small>

Cat, My email is deleted for now. Let me know next time you are here and I will email you.

TG

<small>[ July 22, 2003, 02:46 PM: Message edited by: Texasgirl ]</small>

Catnip-
I wonder if one of those investigative and unrelenting news reporters could hound the judge or court to handle things differently. Probably a long shot, but maybe.

Several avenues to take. Like, they could go to the judge's home and ask his wife how she feels that her husband practices extortion. Yknow really get under his skin. I can just see the headline "Family hating Judge SoandSo advocates life sentence to couple rebuilding marriage".

Could be fun to watch at least!! Good luck.

Cat,

I am so angry for you!!!! It's so hard to believe that even with all the evidence you have provided over the years that they still demand the same or more! Even if Bipolar was making a larger amount, it's not like he up and decided to have bipolar, and loose his job, and not be able to make what he used to!!!! They claim that the child deserves what it would have gotten if it lived w/Bipolar! Well, in that case, the CS should be cut down to a fifth of what it is now, and be lowered to the correct amount!!!! I'm so sorry that this is continuing to happen!

On a happier note, I was telling Sailorman before he left for work how great it's been, seeing you post lately! You always have such wonderful advice, and a way with the newbies! If I post my email, would you send me your good news too?

Love,

Tigger

Catnip,
I, too, would love to hear your good news!
Do you remember my email address??? Just email me at hotmail... I have something to tell you as well!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Amazing Stace <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by aimee2:
<strong>Catnip-
I wonder if one of those investigative and unrelenting news reporters could hound the judge or court to handle things differently. Probably a long shot, but maybe.

=^^= Yeah, probably. But my most enormous fear is blowing my anonimity. I am an extremely private person and hate anyone to know my business outside of here. I mouth off here because...I can! Any kind of media attention would embarrass my grown adult children and my Mom and Bipolar's very frail Mom. We can't have that. No way, no how. I just know that this is going to come smacking me right between the eyes someday, like any secret when the "truth" is revealed. Our situation is so bizarre and so twilight zone that I am afraid that it might draw attention which is a double edged sword. On one hand I would love the focus to be on the "situation" without naming any names but to correct a gross injustice...for us and for others in similar situations. However, I have never ever heard of anyone in our unique situation where we continuoiusly prove over and over our very meager financial situation yet the courts insist we are the "Rockefellers" and hold us ransome for unbelievably huge payments that kill us...all based on absolutely nothing. And, they get away with this.

Our attorney called Bipolar after the last go around in court. Bipolar of course, was not there because we have absolutely no money to appear. The attorney let out a huge "whew" and said, "man, do they hate you there". Bipolar said "Why? They don't even know me." What we can't figure out is that OW is nothing special at all but is getting all this special treatment since she lives at home with Mom and Dad, she must spend her $1500 a month she gets from us on really amazing attorneys. So, in essence, we are financing her terrorism of us.

Like, they could go to the judge's home and ask his wife how she feels that her husband practices extortion.

The "judge" is neither a judge nor a man. It is just a measly Hearing Officer...little more than just an attorney with waaaay too much power that she is abusing...and it is a woman who is leading the rest of the hooded mob against Bipolar. She must be an OW. She sure ain't a Betrayed!

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by tigger4jdt:
<strong>Cat,

I am so angry for you!!!!

=^^= (sniff) I can always count on you to commiserate with me. You make me feel better.

It's so hard to believe that even with all the evidence you have provided over the years that they still demand the same or more!

=^^= I know! Isn't this weird?

Even if Bipolar was making a larger amount, it's not like he up and decided to have bipolar, and loose his job, and not be able to make what he used to!!!!

=^^- Bipolar makes an average wage. It ain't alot but we could survive OK on it if the payments we adjusted accordingly. It has been calculated by the attorney that we should only be paying around $125 a week. That's $175 less than what we are already paying. In reality, the Support and Collections/OW owe him over $19,000. His bipolar disorder has kept him from making more money and getting a better job because his concentration is so shot on the meds. He isn't supposed to operate heavy machinery yet he does to make enough money to survive. God, I want to sue NY family court.

They claim that the child deserves what it would have gotten if it lived w/Bipolar!

=^^= This OC gets about $1000 more a month that we spent on our THREE kids collectively every month. I remember how I would plan buying clothes for each of them. Our daughter got clothes quarterly and our sons got clothes bi-annually. Treats were a movie and pizza a couple times a month, everyone got a modest allowance, we paid for private schools with each kid working in the library or on the school grounds to help reduce tuition. None of them went without. Today, we are all very close, they are productive and independent young adults and none of them have bipolar disorder (thank you God) and don't do things to sabotage their lives. They are all kind, successful and unspoiled. This OC isn't getting $1500 per month...her fat lazy worthless Mother is...and she is spending it on attorneys to nail Bipolar to the income shares cross...and is very, very successful in all her endeavors. I am extremely curious to find out what is spent on OC every month.

I keep wondering why OW hasn't taken the time to channel her energies and her obvious talent at setting up my husband into something productive and more worthwhile. She could make a lot more than $1500 per month at a satisfying job. From the very beginning, she has been successful in each of her missions. She is very tenacious. If she weren't hurting me so much and hurting Bipolar so much, I could probably look at her with a bit of admiration for getting her own way and being so incredibly focused. But, I just see a big ugly blob of greed and bitterness whenever I think of her sitting on that ample butt of hers whining to her attorneys and making demands. I cna't figure out why she is getting so much mileage out of this...it's not like she comes from a family with prestige and influence or that she is a person of importance or significance. She is ordinary and unremarkable at best. But, for some reason, she seems to have become their poster child for extorting income shares regardless of the law, regardless of what is right, even though the OC probably sees very little of the money earmarked for her. Since OW doesn't pay rent or have expenses, the money the family court has ordered and is garnishing is ALL disposable income to OW.

On a happier note, I was telling Sailorman before he left for work how great it's been, seeing you post lately!

=^^= That's sweet. Really? I've been in such a state lately. But that's nice, thanks.

If I post my email, would you send me your good news too?

What I would like you to do is for you and stacia to e-mail Gem because she has the news as well. It is very, very exciting and wonderful news and something we have all wanted for a very long time. But, it is very restricted and confidential and cannot be discussed out of the confines of known members. E-mail Gem and Stacia, you e-mail Gem, too. We moved yesterday back into our house, but I am sitting in an empty apartment accessing e-mail and posting here because I am not set up at the house yet and nothing gets turned off here for another couple days. I left my computer here and Internet hooked up until I get situated at the house, so my time issues are pretty tight right now and I have to shoot off a huge box of documents to the attorney tonight for Monday's "hearing"...which is an oxymoron because the court refuses to "hear" anything. Later.......

Love,

Cat</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Catnip, reading what is going on in your posts just makes steam come out of my ears. I try not to post too much because I am on both sides of the fence and can understand both sides. But I know that I and friends of mine also take lower CS payments than the court ordered. We realize the hardship it would put our X's in if we didn't. So it really urks me when people extort so much money the other party is struggling to a point it hurts.
On the other hand I have friends whose X go to extreme so they have to pay diddly and they struggle making ends meet. They quit their job or take a minimum paying job...my friend gets $300. a month for 3 children because her X cut his pay more than half till the court date past. I know of lawyers telling these men how to beat the system. Not to pay, how it takes years for them to find their place of employment. Years for them to actually garnish or take their income tax. I know I will get bashed for saying this but couldn't you not pay, or to pay like 1/4 of what you do to this OW for a couple of months so you can afford a good lawyer and be able to fly to where these court precedings are to be held? It just seems to me the negative that could happen for not paying the whole amount for a couple of months would out weigh getting good representation when this amount is outrageous in the first place. I know I have been trying to help a friend out who is battling an out of state case. They can't afford to hire a lawyer not to mention fly 1/2 way across the country when they are a family of 4 trying to live on his 8.00 an hour, and what she makes part-time at min. wage. It feels like a whole they will never be able to dig themselves out of. I totally feel for you and your situation. I hope you find answers!

Cat,

I think that I already know, and it was probably one of the reasons I was working to get emailed! I don't have Gem's new addy either, but if she has what I think she has, it's great news!!!! Hopefully, this news will get around! Gem, if you are lurking, do you still have my yahoo email? Just so I can be possitive what's going on <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Let me know, or Stacia_lee, and she can get a message to me!

Love

Tigger