Since I am relatively new to this situation, this is obviously one of my big concerns. I'm not going to get into to the ethics of paying CS, I know everyone on this board has strong opinions. I personally have a very hard time with it. I know both are responsible for the act of sex, but once a woman is pregnant, she has several choices (even though she may not like those choices). The man has none, and neither do I as the BS. I guess I did get into it a little. We are currently paying $ to OW by verbal agreement between OW and H, but OW has not sued for child support yet. We pay a lot as far as I am concerned ($600), but I know it would be a lot more if we were sued for CS. I've looked into it and it looks like it could be 25% of H income for 1 child! We can't even pay our bills now with what we are paying, we would probably lose our house if she sued for CS.

My question is, does EVERYONE pay CS? How much and/or what % of income do you pay (if that is not too personal)? When did OW sue for CS? Does anyones OW just leave them ALONE - not ask for CS or call, etc? Did anyone give OW a lump sum payment and did she then leave them alone (I know this is not a legal substition for CS). I see how many people are in financial trouble because of CS and it scares me. The emotional aspect of all this is already hard enough to handle. Thanks in advance to everyone who opens up to answer this personal question.

If I were to collect, I would get around 25% of her pay (Colorado CS laws) for 2 kids. Plus college tuition COULD be added with an additional order.

I recommend you keep a log book & document EVERY penny given/used for child support. Make the payments with a check so there is a written receipt.

Chris - what do you mean HER pay? I don't get what your relationship is to OC. Are you actually getting CS? Can they really force you to pay for college too? I thought CS ended when a child was 18! I'm not even going to be able to send my own kids to college!

ftb,,,,,,,, in our case the om would have been much better off settleing with my W. he did not and my position was that he meet his responsibility. fh went through the DA's office and he was ordered to pay much more then anyone expected. om has whined to fh on a couple of occasions <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> about the amount be such a heavy burden.

he hired an attorney to try and cut his costs so fh and i got one and now chances are it will end up costing him even more. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

in answer to your question to chris, the W in some circumstances does end up paying cs. if i had divorced fh that would have been the case in our situation. also if a child goes to college you may have to continue paying cs to the age of 23. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

i would recommend that you not make any new waves with ow in your case and pray that cs issue stays out of the court room.

My H pays only $300 a month for 1 child.

Dm pays only what he wants. He's not required to pay anything since he has no rights to the children. At the time my daughter was born I could have gotten $800 a month if I put him on the birth certificate, but my H is on there instead. Dm does give me money almost weekly and helps out with clothes for the kids.

Chris - what do you mean HER pay? I don't get what your relationship is to OC.
In my case, their is no oc. I was commenting strictly on the child support issue.

I have sole custody of our two daughters. I do not receive child support (never went after it.)

Can they really force you to pay for college too?
Sometimes. If it is in a court order.

I thought CS ended when a child was 18!
Usually, it ends on their 19th birthday. But you may still have to pay 1/2 college costs, even though "child support" is no longer being paid.

Not an OC situation, but my ex-husband pays $300 total per month for our two children (when he bothers to pay anything at all). Our original Marital Settlement Agreement provided for the non-custodial parent to pay 20% of income. I paid when the girls lived with him for the first 18 months, but he has seldom paid anything at all since they have lived with me the last 6 years.

Under California guidelines there is a fairly complex formula based on both incomes and the amount of time spent in each home to calculate support. Under the law he should probably be paying more like $900 - $1,000, but for me it's not worth taking him to court.

You can probably do an internet search for your state on support guidelines and get a fairly accurate picture of what a court might order you to pay.

In NY state it is pretty straight forward. all % are figured after medicaid/ss tax are taken out. but it is 15% for 1, 25% for 2, 29% for 3, and I think 32% for 4 and max 35% for 5 or more. now if the person being asked for the support has other minor children of thier own, then they take the figure and divide it by the # of minor children. ie if they have 2 minor children 1 living with them and being asked for the support for the other then. child support would be 25% 12.5% given to the other party and 12.5% expected to be used on the minor child living with them. Also if the support makes the paying party have a $ amount to live off from less than the determined poverty level, then there could even be no support granted. Smiaj

In answer to the original post, I would seek good legal advice before continuing to pay CS on the side.

Since she claimed nothing, you could claim divorcing your H, and she would get very little. There are ways around it. Find yourself a good attorney to help you and your H with this. Do not let your H tell her he is looking into the situation legally.

Good luck.

ember

THis has to be very quick but some off the cuff (but sound) remarks...
first, be careful paying by verbal agreement. In some states, ow can claim that all money given to her prior to a court order is a "gift" from the natural father, and the court could STILL order back child support without regard to any money that has already been paid.

Second, each state has its own guidelines. Some states require contribution to college education. Some do not. In most states, child support terminates upon the child reaching the age of 18, graduating from high school, or becoming emancipated (like getting married), which ever comes first. Some states do not allow for retroactive child support (meaning that child support is calculated from the date the complaint is filed) but some states go back automatically to the date of the child's birth. Amounts are figured according to state guidelines. Some states compel a father to contribute extra expenses ON TOP of child support, such as day care costs. Others do not. There are even a couple of states that require the current spouse's income to be considered in the calculations, although that is pretty rare these days. Again, this varies by state.

I would advise consulting with a competent attorney. If you are not ready or able to do that, at least put your h's verbal agreement in writing to document that what he is paying ow is actually child support.

-cd

CD.

It is nice to see you posting.

I need to communicate with you ASAP. I need some legaladvice and would like to update you about my situation.
Can you email me privately please this weekend if possible? thanks.
unhappy wife

Hi UW,
I can't find your new email address. Please write me. I am going away this week, so it may be after August 17th til I get to respond.
Warmest,
Donna

CD, you can email me at my old address. I will try and email you as well to give you my current email address. I will be away for next two weeks, so not back till week after you.Talk to you then

CD - Thanks for the advise. Is there a way to get some of that info for a particular state without a lawyer? We have seen a lawyer, but all they say is that there is a formula for each state that is very straight forward and there is nothing you can do to change it, but they won't tell us what is is unless we pay them a retainer and we don't have any $ because we have been sending OW $ every month! I have read some of your old posts and you seem to know a lot about this. If you can give me any advise I would appreciate it. My email is lola19652003@yahoo.com if you don't want to respond on the board. Thanks!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by fortheboys:
<strong>Is there a way to get some of that info for a particular state without a lawyer</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Just do a Yahoo search for "your state" child support guidelines, i.e., California child support guidelines or New Jersey child support guidelines.

What state are you looking for?

Looking for California.

I believe in California, you can find out a tentative calculation of the amount of CS you may pay if you know husband's salary and OW's salary. In that state, it is at least 25 percent of MM's salary, if he is noncustodial parent, plus usually half of noncovered health care, half of day care costs, and usually child must be covered on health insurance.

Great news, huh?

Look for child support calculator on net for any state you want. It is easily found.

Here’s one for California
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