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Joined: Dec 2004
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Lost, do you actually want to live the rest of your life (even though I can guarantee THAT won't happen) with an OW of her caliber? Yikes, she seems vicious. Far more vicious than your W seems. So you say her and her H are separated? What prompted that..the A? Is this her first A? I know you're battling your job situation. It's definitely not a good position to be in. My H's XOW and her H live 3 blocks from us in a small town. Our 12 year old sons are friends and go to school together. Our daughter and the OC (whom we haven't decided if pursuing C will be the best for) will be in the same class at the same school if both families continue to live where we live. Everyone tells us to move. It's hard to do so I totally understand you and your job situation. Are you 100% positive that the unborn child is yours? Could it not be her STBXH?

Joined: Dec 2004
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Lost, my last response was supposed to be on your thread that you started. I posted to the wrong one! Oops.

Joined: Feb 2005
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No problem, I'll quote and respond over there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Joined: Oct 2001
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I wanted contact because I thought it was the only thing to do and at the time, so did he...even his wife asked me to please let him be in her life.

If I am completely honest, yes I still wanted to be with him, and probably would have continued the affair if there was contact. I think all parties involved realized that it would happen if we were ever together, which is why I believe they chose NC.

Two years later I would like to believe that I would never go near him again. Although some really stupid part of me still loves him the "fog" has definitely lifted. His behaviour towards our daughter has been monsterous...so in that regard Lynn is right...makes me want him to stay very far away. I am for the most part happy about the NC, and will be even happier when all the legal stuff is over.

Joined: Nov 2004
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Post deleted by Blackrio

Joined: Aug 2003
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Rio, I can totally understand your feelings on the head starting to hurt from it all. Hang in there stay strong.....email me if you feel weak and I'll talk to you down girl! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 248
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For me, I was in the process of breaking it off with him when I found out I was pg. I almost didn't even tell him that I was, but I knew that he'd find out through mutual friends and I wanted him to hear it from me rather than someone else. He kept calling me during my pg, until the first 12 weeks were up he tried to convince me to have an abortion and after that, adoption (that was only brought up once - I don't think he liked my response). This was a man that talked to me about having children with me, etc. ( <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ). I told him from day one that if he didn't want anything to do with me or the baby to walk away now and not to look back. He kept calling. He kept coming around. He came to the hospital when I was in labor, and after the baby was born. He SAID he was going to stay when I was in labor, but that my mother "growled" at him so that's why he left. I'm glad he did - I had MY support system there, he wasn't support for me, he was just upsetting. Seeing the baby in the hospital was partly my doing, because I didn't want the first time he saw the baby to be when we went to court.
I didn't get pg to keep the R going. I wanted it to end. He was in contact for the first year, I have cards, etc. to Josh that are all signed "love, Dad".. Again <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> . The only reason I have them is for when Josh asks or is ready to see them. We've been NC for 4 years now. Oy, I'm not going to keep going on, this could take forever. LOL But no. Not me. I didn't want the A to continue. I deserved so much more than what he could/would offer, and so did my son.

Joined: Aug 2003
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JM I was too in the midst of breaking it off with him. He knew it too. I had told him that I could not keep doing this. HE was all freaked out over it. I think the pregnancy in a way helped the break up to happen faster. He knew how to pile the guilt on me and make me feel guilty.

Joined: Jan 2004
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As far as to continue the A, I dont think so. Like in my case the OW called to tell me that my H was only coming home for my D. He didn't love me and would leave as soon as she was 18! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> And she could even the playing field. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> So in my eyes baby A was planned by her for me to leave him. She didn't think I would stay. The only way she was going to get him, is if I got rid of him? Now how sick is that? Who in thier right mind would be happy w/ that kind of life? I don't know. And still today, its the same way. Knowing he is never going to leave his family. I really feel sorry for her. I though she was in a place to where she could heal and go on w/ her life, but I've seen different in the past few months since the visitations are legal. She tries to use C as a means of getting close to my H and bugging me. But as long as we are working on our M and she is not our concern, just Baby A, then it is her that is waisting percious time of living her life, not us. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
I can say for the "newbies" here that they need to first and fromost work on thier M and then deal with the issue of C/NC. That way you are no likely be strong enough to combat the actions and games that the OW might try. We do have C and I do get aggravated by some of the games the OW plays, but like I've always said. Do it legal and let your attorney handle the games. Cover your butt on the front end, and if its just YOU acting like an adult, then you are the smartest one!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny d

Joined: Aug 2003
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Very nicely said SunnyD!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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