He IS "Daddy"!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

That's so great! You and your son are blessed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Have you and your new H done the EN questionaire? It's a wonderful tool, and such an eye opener. It's a fun and intimate time when you compare each others list too! Also, you should read HNHN--if I'd been a guest at your wedding or shower I'd have given it to you as a gift. What I wouldn't give to know all that I know now--then...all those years ago when I was first married.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> NC is perceived as selfish because, OMG, you’re putting yourself before a poor innocent child. How dare you! I don’t view it that way. YOU (BS) did not create the situation, so how can you be labeled as selfish for trying to survive it the best you can? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And for anyone who says that.. AMEN... I would be putting the needs of OC before my 3 INNOCENT
CHILD(ren) because they will freak. (they are all preteens. They are all still tender aged and very impressionable and yes, spoiled like little kids still. they are young, and they are precious to me- their eyes were full of hurt for so long during our separation and crying and etc.... I cannot do this to them now. We cannot. They don't deserve it.

Oc doesnt deserve to NOT have her father, either. However sad it all is, the two scenarios cannot exist right now (oc having H and bc having H). Its like two creditors and one has the preferential claim when H caused our family to file for "bankrutpcy"..... our family is emotioally re-building (like a company does when it re-organizes after a bankruptcy, lol). We are just getting strong and "normal" again and it is not time, period. If it is time, later, I pray God finds a way for it to work out. If not, that is H's burden to bear.

As FBS who has lived free of OW issues for 1.5 years, I assure you that PEACE is the word. Peace is restoring our family day by day! OC is in good hands- OW lives w/her parents still and is young. Has a large family, and MIL knows the family for years and we all know OC is happy, healthy and in good hands !

NC can be a peaceful and intelligent decision that is made to protect ALL the children and the sanity of the childrens' mothers. (ow and bw)

Contact, I agree, is wonderful also! Hats off to the AWESOME ladies here who are making C and their M work !! Really <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ March 02, 2005, 07:51 PM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

I think NC in MY situation is bad. My son is from a former relationship before my husband. He has met his BIO dad twice. I know how it bothered him even though my husband raised him. Who knows whether it's genetics wanting to know or just simple human curiousity.

So I couldn't in good faith have NC. Plus...I love OC and hold her completely blameless. She is a part of our family now.

ent

I don't know if I am in the minority as the OW or not but I can't imagine having C. My daughter is 18 months old and I have NO desire to share her.

That being said...in the beginning it was a hard pill to swallow. Throughout the pregnancy both his wife and him insisted on contact and no other though ever came into my mind..so when the change of heart happened, it was swift and shocking.

I have no doubt that I can raise my child to be healthy and happy, even if I spend the rest of my days alone. I still have good memories of her father to pass along when the time comes. And if she ever wants to find him, that will be up to her.

I am happy with NC but at times it does make me very sad...for my daughter and for her father. She is such a beautiful child, happy, and loving..that it pains me to know he is missing it. I think those are normal feelings though, more from my love of her than anything else.

I don't want anymore drama and I "selfishly" don't want to share.