Jill,<P>I'll be praying HARD for you knowing that you face a tough week. I dare say, there are <B>dozens</B> of us here that will be praying for you.<P>You are an inspiration, committed to total honesty in your relationship with your H even when it would be easier (in some ways) to keep your secret. You are courageous. Sure you may be nervous, but you have the benefit of knowing that you are doing the right thing. That will carry you through.<P>God bless you. Thank you for sharing with us up to now, and please keep it up. Remember to welcome your husband here whenever he is ready.

jill,<BR>my prayers are with you.<BR>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>"It took me quite a while to realize that <B>the real deal</B> is to be able to be enough of a person your own to know when somebody loves you and cares about you"<BR>----Stevie Ray Vaughan<P>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> lms20ish@jobe.net

Jill,<P>Praying for you<P><BR>Keo

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I appreciate your prayers and kindness.<P>I will update you on my situation soon.<P>Jill

Praying for you too!<BR>Kathi

Jill,<BR>My Thoughts & Prayers are with you too. <BR>B<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

Jill,<P>Good Luck and God Bless<P>I hope it works out well. Remember, it probably will not be as bad as you have already rehearsed in your mind.<P>Good Luck again!

We haven't heard from Jill yet. There is very high chance her H won't be coming here and things are as bad or worse than she imagined. Harley said that hardly any marriages without children survive an affair. My guess is that she is so frustrated with her marriage (and her guilt) that she'd rather lose her marriage than keep her secret. I know what that is like. <P>I can't blame MB for my decision to confess. I confessed before I found MB. There are so many times I really wonder if the advice to confess is really in the best interest of the betrayer, and more out of some subconcious need that some betrayed might have to make sure that betrayers really "pay the consequences". If confessing is going to end the marriage, then I can't believe it is in the best interest of either person. <P>I just feel so sad for Jill today. I hope she doesn't end up regretting her decision to confess.

Jill,<P>You have my prayers. I look forward to hearing from you. Just have faith, no matter how this turns out (I think it will be well ultimately), you have been honest to yourself and your H.<P>Something to be proud of in my book.<P><BR>God Bless You and Your H,<P>JL<P>

TheStudent,<P>A) If the marriage can <B>only</B> survive with dishonesty then it is already a sham marriage but nobody has admitted it yet.<P>B) When the secret is kept it will eat away at the keeper creating an unhealthy emotional situation. Some people are not able to simply disengage their conscience on an item-by-item basis.<P>C) There is always the danger that the spouse will find out from somebody else, and then the secret keeper is doubly at fault.<P>Sorry. Unless there are extreme circumstances (likelyhood of physical violence for example) it seems to me that honesty is the best policy.<P>Based on her posts I think Jill has made the right decision. I just wish we would hear something from her! Even if she has chickened out or backslid. I hope she knows we will be here for her no matter what.

Dear Jill,<P>I have been greatly impressed by all the strong support and warm feelings the people here, myself included, have for you. But I kept wondering why is that? After all, so many of us are struggling with wayward spouses and the pain of infidelity, so why would we have concern for you and your pain? <P>And then it hit me! It's because you are showing the kind of courage and integrity we all want our spouses to show. You are an example of the basic decency in people we have a hard time believing exists anymore. You are the kind of spouse we all want. We admire you, Jill. <P>We are heartened by your courage. We are affirmed by your committment to honesty. By witnessing your belief in the power of love and forgiveness, we feel good about believing, too.<P>God bless you, Jill.<BR>Kenneth

Jill's still around. She posted to somebody else on the 13th, and I haven't checked but my guess is she'll be back. <P>As for a marriage without children surviving an affair...It can be done. Nothing is impossible. We don't have children, we're making it through. I refuse to have a death sentence set upon us. Ok the odds are against us, but they were against us when we got married to. It's all about choice.<P>Jill hope nothing too catastrophic has occured. You've got the strength to make it through this.

<BR>beth28,<P>A friend of mine and his wife survived not one but two affairs. She betrayed him, and then about a year later, she *encouraged* him to have a revenge affair. I thought it was a really terrible idea, and I told him so. But he had the affair, and several years later they started a family. They've been happily married for fifteen years now.<P>I STILL think revenge affairs are a terrible idea, but this particular couple actually benefitted from one. Strange.<P>Bystander