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#856540 03/21/00 02:03 AM
Joined: Mar 2000
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ls12 Offline OP
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Five days have passed since my husband left our house. We talk on the phone. He says he needs time to be alone, he says he's not coming back and not to expect miracles. I am devastated, and so are our children. We all love him, I have forgiven him his infidelities, and I want, too late it seems, to show him that I can also change and work on fulfilling his emotional needs. I was horrible to live with after I discovered his infidelities, I was hurt, and angry and I demanded remorse and changes from him, I never thought of changing myself drastically too, and when he brought up that topic, I resisted because I felt he was being unfair. Nothing, I felt then, that I had done could be as bad as what he had done.<P>I'm so tired now. I want him back so I can prove to him that I can change. Please pray for my husband, pray that he will change heart and risk another chance for the sake of our history and our children. I'll be talking to him today, so please pray that I do it right, that I don't do or say anything to scare him more.

#856541 03/21/00 02:08 AM
Joined: Jan 2000
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<P>Praying for you to find the words of wisdom you seek...<P>Keo

#856542 03/21/00 08:07 AM
Joined: Sep 1999
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ls12,<P>When you talk to him...<BR>...follow <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A> to the max...<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Plan A: Avoid angry outbursts, disrespectful judgments, selfish demands, annoying behavior and dishonesty (i.e. <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A>!) at all costs. (page 75 of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"(SAA)</A>)...<B>and</B> at the same time, if your spouse would let the you, you should try to meet your spouse's most important <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A>. (page 77 of SAA)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You can't meet all (or hardly any) of his needs when he is away... so right now... your talks with him <B>have to emphasize</B> NO <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A>! i.e. "Avoid angry outbursts, disrespectful judgments, selfish demands, annoying behavior and dishonesty".<P>Do not beg him to come home...<BR>Let him know <B>home</B> is a "safe" environment for him to come back to!...<P>I mentioned this on the other post you had... check out my ===><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Archives/Archive-000001/HTML/20000110-1-011323.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101</A>! Maybe before you talk to him today!<P>Prayers continuing... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Jim


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