Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 373
C
Cuckold Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 373
No, clicking this doesn't mean that your<BR>e-mail address will now be flooded with spam from naughty websites.<P>I think we know who we are out there. We've been patient, we've jumped through some hoops, but it's time to finally get some. Relief, that is.<P>For those of us with a picture of our right hand in our billfold, please vent!<BR>

Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 53
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 53
It's been a year...<P>Need I say more???<P>I was watching some guys play raquetball while I ran the treadmill the other day -- they were all fat and balding...and they were looking pretty good....<P>I'm speaking to God about this....my defenses are wearing thin.

Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 483
2
Member
Offline
Member
2
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 483
Camryn - you have me beat. 1 year? OUCH!<P>Almost 8 months here. Who knew this was possible? Sometimes it seems unbearable.<P>------------------<BR>But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.<BR>Galatians 5:22-23

Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 290
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 290
I'm sure I can beat all of you! Last time I had sex was Dec.'98! And that was the obligatory "wham bam thank you mam"! Actually, it felt mechanical and disgusting.

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 101
2
Member
Offline
Member
2
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 101
Sex ?!?!!??? Oh yeah that thing [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Been about 8 or 9 months since a real session. Got a *wham* last month because she read some steamy book and got hot (not for me of course).<P>I tell ya. I am 33 and I can't imagine that my life would be reduced to this ! This weekend sucked. Saturday she left in the morning and did not come back till after midnight. Sunday she avoided me completely (not even any conversation).<P>I am wondering if she is cheating. I am actually looking for a detection kit.<P>I don't think my palms will take much more of this.

Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 444
L
LMS Offline
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 444
let see it went from july 13 of last year till nov 24 then nothing since, that may not be as long as the rest but when you were used to getting it every night for 8 years its a big let down. I tried the last time he was here three weeks ago but he got pleased and I didnt. then he went off to texas to meet with someone he wont tell me about, so I know now why he wasnt as eager as the last time he was here.<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] the rodeo is comming in in a week may just go find me a cowboy [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]hell an 8 sec ride is better than nothin. prob not but the idea is there. <P>------------------<BR>"It took me quite a while to realize that <B>the real deal</B> is to be able to be enough of a person your own to know when somebody loves you and cares about you"<BR>----Stevie Ray Vaughan<P>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> lms20ish@jobe.net

Joined: May 1999
Posts: 2,454
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 2,454
Sorry TL - but I've gone without since a couple of wham-bams in early 97!!!!<P>...and let's not even talk about any kind of kissing or "making out" - I'd really have to dust out the brain cobwebs to remember when that was!!!<P>AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!<P>Geeeez Cuckold, you had to go and bring this up.....where is that vibrator? LOL!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba <P>PS - Hey, on the bright side at least with hands, palms, fingers and "apparatuses" you don't have to worry about wham bams!!!! Or talking...or sulking....or meeting their undeclared needs!!!! (heavy sigh....)

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 289
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 289
Sex? What's that? Let's see it has been 10 months for me. <P>Sex has never been one of my "top" needs but this is getting ridiculous. I'm 27 and never thought I'd have to live like this [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>

Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 296
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 296
ok.....I had to jump in here.<P>I went to my therapist last week and was talking about my H (who else) I told her I had not has sex in almost a month. Then I started laughing and told her she probably sees clients that have not had sex in years and I am complaining about a month.<P>So it has been a long month for me. My H comes home this wed or Thurs (he has been out of town working) We have spent a few nights together this last month, but nothing sexual. <P>So if he does not move home.......I will have to go through withdrawal..Does it get easier over time?<P>They were talking about faking the BiG O on the emotional needs forum......nobody must have got any over the weekend.

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 3,467
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 3,467
Ok, so it hasn't been as long as some of you but it HAS been 4 months! I hope it's like riding a bike, that I don't forget how! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Lesa,<BR>I'm coming to MO for the rodeo!!! 8 seconds sounds pretty good to me right now!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Sheba,<BR>I never thought of it that way!! At least there is one bright side to being alone!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I was at my best friends how one day and her fiance (now husband) razzed in my ear. I told him he better watch out cause it wouldn't take much!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Mitzi

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 172
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 172
Sorry to bust any bubbles...but my W last night actually intiated it, this is rare. But we avg about 2-3x's a month, I would prefer 2-3x'x per week! We are month 7 into recovery from her somewhat physical EA, no actual sex except in the mind. <BR>We even talked to the OM yesterday at our son's sport team practice. T<P>------------------<BR>jnvc

Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 1,062
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 1,062
It will be a year on 30 May.<P>The longest I went without before I married her was 2.5 years after breaking up with my XGF.<P>Yes, this sucks big time!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net

Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 46
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 46
Hi.<BR> appx. 11 months for me.<P>Arrow

Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 171
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 171
Its been too darn long thats for sure!!!!!!!<P>J W

Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 2,440
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 2,440
About a year so far. No kissing or other stuff even. I get an occasional hug from guy friends. I've chosen celibacy for an indefinate period, though, so it has been totally voluntary for me. I was a very strict vegetarian for 7 years, so I know the discipline exists. It sucked at first, breaking alot of old habits and ways of thinking. Now I think it is pretty interesting. <P>Professorg,<BR>2.5 years, huh? Was this because of your religious convictions?

Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 2,900
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 2,900


<small>[ February 27, 2005, 08:26 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 11
D
DD Offline
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
D
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 11
God...you guys have made me REALLY depressed!!! I'm going on 2.5 months, and thought this was bad -- but 6 months, a year, 2 years??? I can tell you right now, I will never last that long...

Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,125
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,125
HHHHHMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Interesting topic...<P>Ok, I'm not in as much of a dry spell as some here.... it's been almost 5 months since the last wham-bam. <P>Hey Sheba, wanna compare battery bills? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Mitzi, I'll swing by and pick you up... LMS, send us a map to the rodeo!!! YEEEEE HAAAAAA!!!!! Ride um' Cowgirls! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><BR>Ok, now I'm really in trouble.... I'm heading to "Sin City", Lost Wages (Las Vegas) on Thursday..... YIKES! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ... oh well, at least my sister will be there to keep me in control! Ha Ha Ha!!<P><BR>Butterfly<P><P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 1,062
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 1,062
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TheStudent:<BR><B>About a year so far. No kissing or other stuff even. I get an occasional hug from guy friends. I've chosen celibacy for an indefinate period, though, so it has been totally voluntary for me. I was a very strict vegetarian for 7 years, so I know the discipline exists. It sucked at first, breaking alot of old habits and ways of thinking. Now I think it is pretty interesting. <P>Professorg,<BR>2.5 years, huh? Was this because of your religious convictions? </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yes, because sex is sacred. It is one of the many ways we praise Him. After my XGF left me, I had committed my life to God and would not have married my W had He not asked me to do so. I know it sounds crazy but it is true. In my last semester at the USAF Academy, He told me He wanted me to get married. I met my W on 1 Jun 1985 and He said that she was the one He wanted me to marry.<P>I have only had sex with 2 people both before I should have. So I am not a saint from that aspect. Yet, I had not been instructed on fornication until I started stdying it during my W's first affair which started out emotionally over the phone.<P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net

Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 2,440
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 2,440
professorg,<BR>I'm not trying to put you on the spot. I had sex with both my husbands before I got married, and even lived with a guy when I was 18-20. I'm only a recent convert to abstinence before marriage, and not exactly for religious reasons. I believe that my poor choices in husbands resulted partly because of sex before marriage. It tends to cloud people's judgement, IMO. Furthermore, one can never be sure about someone's intentions unless commitment is involved. Too many people are out just for something short-term, even if they aren't conscious about it. This leads to people having many partners over a life-time,with subsequent risk of contracting STD's as well as the emotional damage done after each break-up. I know you understand what I'm saying. I certainly don't recommend celibacy for everyone. It can be a hard row to hoe. <P>For anyone who might be considering abstinence for a certain period, I can tell you that it is probably similar to losing a certain sense (like becoming blind or deaf). The other senses compensate and become much stronger. I understand that blind people can distinguish others by their voice,the sound of their footsteps, and even their smell. Being celibate has made me much more in tune with myself and others too. Very interesting...<P>

Page 1 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 109 guests, and 48 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
cbm800, Dodo M, Kingpin, MikaylaVaux, I.P.
71,728 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,546
Posts2,322,790
Members71,729
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5