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Joined: Jan 2000
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LisaM Offline OP
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Forgive me in advance if you see this posted elsewhere - I am selfishly posting this all over the place as I <B>really</B> need a few suggestions.<P>Today is May 9th. On June 26th a moving truck will pull up in my driveway to move my family (not too far) to our new home. This is exactly 47 days from now (less weekends = 33, less three events would = 28, less next 3 days of son at home sick = 25, 5 hour days = 125 hours...sounds like alot but isn't.... I've moved before with much less stuff). This also doesn't account for other "time-stealing-stuff" that creeps up on you. (Car needs to be serviced, kids and I have dentist next week, dog needs his shots, son's birthday party at mid-June, school events, a few volunteer pre-commitments that I am trying to give up, a huge perennial garden that needs to be dug up for re-planting when we move......)<P>When we first bought the house, which, BTW, we <B>had to</B> find and commit to on short notice (long story) a few weeks ago, the time frame seemed realistic. I do not want to pack on weekends as I treasure my time with the kids/family and it is near impossible to do. I am solely responsible for all laundry, kids homework, kids well being (bathing etc), meal prep, school lunches, cleaning, groceries/<B>all</B> other shopping, <B>and</B>...... packing. Add to that weekday nurturing and there isn't much time left. The kids are home from school everyday at 2:30. My little guy only goes part time and is extremely active.<P>Since buying the house, I have lost over 2 weeks of "packing time" due to both kids (7 & 4) having chicken pox and myself with a few days of strep throat/fever.<P>Now, the problem..........<P>I am someone who requires copious amounts of sleep or I am pretty much useless (or at least, moreso than usual [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ). Prior to finding out that we would need to move, we discussed and agreed to several social commitments over the course of May. (This Saturday - [his friends, primarily] in from out of town, next Thursday-Sunday going out of town for mixed stag - [his friends primarily], the following Saturday - another wedding - [his friend primarily] - in town). All of this "stuff" takes time. More time with two young kids to pack for, entertain, etc. Also requires a slight reduction of sleep schedule/energy. <P>How do you effectively un-POJA that which you already agreed to? I am having a slight panic attack thinking about the time I (won't) have to organize and pack effectively as it is, let alone with being away, being committed to ......stuff. We are in a 5 bedroom, packed to the rafters home now. My little guy goes to school part time only. I'm not typically a "weak" person but I'm having a tough time with this guys! <B>HELP!!!!!!</B><P>I know that mentioning any of this to my H is going to cause WWIII, WWIV <B>and</B> WWV however, I am anything but enthusiastic about getting all gussied up (anyone still use that word?) for 3 big nights out. I am anything but enthusiastic about packing up 2 kids and driving 4.5 hours away for a few days, only to return and have to unpack and then pack to move. I am anything but enthusiastic about losing any more packing time than I have already lost. I am less than enthusiastic about leaving the bulk of it for the hottest time of the year in a house without air conditioning (o.k., I'm getting whiny and picky now......I know, I know).<P>Somewhat selfishly, I took a 2.5 day "break" last week to visit a girlfriend (prior to child #2 getting the pox) and I know that this too will be used as "ammo" in discussion. BTW, both kids had pox in it's absolute worse forms possible. I'm currently operating on less than 4 hours of sleep. Needless to say, the house is full of boxes - very <B>empty</B> boxes. <P>Oh ya! Did I mention that there is usually a major heat wave in June and we have not got air conditioning? This is another reason I had fully counted on having May to do what I could.<P>Any suggestions? Anyone? ........Puhhhhhhhhleassssssse?????????? Please don't tell me to go to all three things and hang loose, enjoy myself. Sounds pretty "negative", non PMA but it ain't likely to happen.<P>Cheers,<BR>Lisa (who is forever indebted to anyone who can suggest ways to un-POJA on this one......)

Joined: Apr 2000
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Seems to me the only way to un-POJA is to supersede with a new agreement. Can the husband help with some of this?<BR>

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<small>[ February 27, 2005, 11:42 AM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

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Hi, some questions:<P>1) Is Hubby some kind of ogre that you can't sit down and talk to him about obvious unplanned for little **** (such as the pox, and thank heavens they got it while they were young! It can be disastrous when they are older). You guys are a family, and family works together to handle things. Renegoiate, ask him for suggestions. <P>2) Don't know your financial situation - are you in the red or going bankrupt? If not<BR> <BR>a) I'm thinking of HIRED HELP here. College girls locally, to come in and watch the kids at a set time so you can pack or just nap.<P>b) Family local? In-laws, your mom or dad, sisters, aunts, out-laws, willing/able to watch kids?<P>c) Where we live there's a thing called Pet Taxi. They pick up the doggies, take them to vets, groomers. Can the hound wait til the day before movers come for his shots, then be driven by the pet taxi, left overnight for grooming, and to be in a safe place and out of the way while you're getting the beds and kiddies toys put away? <BR> <BR>d) No taxi service for pets? The college girls with cars. They don't have cars? Pay the taxi (regular taxi if no pet taxi service available: for the ride over and back, with sitter accompanying.<P>e) paying for shots, etc. - credit card by phone.<P>f) You mention you have volunteer obligations: How friendly are you with other parents? People who volunteer are the kind of folks who will do favors for each other, pick up the slack, help you out. Can you talk to other parents who are not moving and going to weddings right now, ask to trade duties, or trade favors for later in the summer after you are in the new house?<P>g) Are any of your kids' friends parents willing to have them one night for a sleepover? (You can catch up on your shut-eye) Can you swing two play-date sleepovers on the same night?<P>Cheers, hope you can use one of these suggestions.


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