Just one other thing about our joint counseling session yesterday.<P>H WAS wearing wedding band. I've been told by many he doesn't wear it otherwise.<P>So "yes" I sd something to him. I grabbed his hand and said "WOW, so you put it back on" H looked surpised I knew and sd what should I have done, I sd "Never take it off in the first place".<P>What a lie he's living. What a sneaky and conniving way to conduct your life. I love him but these things he does disgust me.<P>Doesn't he feel any shame and wonder how people in his life can respect him? <P>This all makes me so hurt and sick inside. Sometimes I wish he'd get on this forum nd read my posts. I think he should read in black and white what he's doing and how he's perceived.<P>What a disappointment this has all been.<P>------------------<BR>Jo<P>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak that will snap in the wind"

So Jo,<P>Where are you now? Do you want reconciliation? Resolution of your issues only? How does this make you feel about the future with him?

Well Popeye, I don't know.<P>On one hand I think IF he was to start to turn his life around and mean it, I may, or probably would sometime in the future reconcile w/him. But that's a huge IF. <P>Then on the other hand I think maybe I should just walk away from it all. That is if I can muster up the courage. Loving him is what keeps me from it right now. I know we all have experienced disappointment in our lives but I feel that my H has basic fundamental problems that can't be solved by love alone. And because my perception of what my life was going to be with him is 180 degrees from target, I can't see how we can get past this.<P>It would have to be a miracle of sorts.<P>I have to say I do find it so interesting that instead of calling him and waiting for him, I changed my behavior and he's running after me. I'm almost surprised. But I really don't know what to think of it. Security maybe? <P>I'm not closing the door to us never having a future together, I just think we both need some time before a decision of any kind is made.<P>Guess you can call it "on the fence".<P>How are you doing? Have you been in contact with H? Has he read the board lately?<P>------------------<BR>Jo<P>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak that will snap in the wind"

Sounds exactly like where I was a while ago. Well, you don't exactly HAVE to decide now. Give it some time. When you are ready, you will know the answer and what to do. You're a strong woman.<P>I try to stay away from H. I can see he's really being influenced by other people. I can see the difference in his thoughts and other people's thoughts. He has always said that he would love me forever and that he would always take care of me. Now it's, "When are you getting out of my house" and "We are not the only people to get divorced you know. it's not a big deal." I think about him, but I remember him as he was. I am so disappointed when I see him as he is, so it's easier to just not see him at all. Though I try to stay positive, it just deteriorates to conversations about money. I am willing to let the lawyers deal with that now since that is the way things seem to be going.<P>He despises that all this stuff is on the internet. He feels like he's being spied upon, but he doesn't have any problem doing his stuff out in public where he can be identified and seen. Weird. So, no I don't think he is reading the board, but I am sure Broadzilla is. She'd do anything to get an ounce of anything to use against me. What is she going to see except that I love my H, she is despicable, and he is a lying, cheating, fool?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Resilient:<BR><B>I have to say I do find it so interesting that instead of calling him and waiting for him, I changed my behavior and he's running after me. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Seems like you have experienced the wonders of "doing an 180". Relationships works like see-saws, if you turn 180 so will often your spouse.<P><P>------------------<BR>Scandinavian<BR>scandinavian@my-deja.com