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Joined: Jul 2000
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B[QUOTE]Originally posted by Summertime:<P>I wish so much that my husband would ask me to forgive him! I would in a minute if he did.<P>He is so busy trying to rationalize what he did, cover it up, lie about it, blame me for it and tell me that things were so bad for us that how could he not cheat on me. He says that he needs to be forgiven. He says that I need to forgive him. He doesn't come out and say "I am sorry that I did this."<P>You are lucky. Please soften your heart, if you love the guy. I can understand how you could distrust him and if you don't feel like sleeping with him. But don't hammer him with guilt, or else neither of you will get over it!

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Mercy-<BR>thanks for your reply.<BR>Wondering if your spouse will ever forgive you is very hard. I think time will take care of this, and love. Continue to love him the best that you can, and I think after time, he will.<BR>I want to share something my husband said awhile back.<BR>He said my punishment for cheating on him<BR>( not that he IS trying to punish me )<BR>is...<BR>that he will never cheat on me.<BR>I spent alot of time thinking about that.<BR>It started making sense.<BR>I will always know that I broke our marriage vows, yet he never did.<BR>I suppose he thinks that if he cheated too, that it would make me feel better, knowing I cheated, so did he.That i was not the only "bad" one.<BR>Wierd thinking, I know,but it made sense to me.<P>Summertime -<BR>I understand what you are saying. However, if my husband had ever told me that he would never forgive me, and would always have resentment towards me for this, I do not know how I could continue in the marriage.<BR>( I am not saying you are doing this! )<BR>I need to know that SOMEDAY he WILL forgive me. Forgiveness needs to be a goal.<P>I think forginess is a gift, and a choice. You choose to forgive, you choose to let go of the anger, the resentment, and choose to look forward, instead of back.<BR>I am NOT saying you should have forgiven your husband by now - it is something you will do on your own, when the time feels right.Please know that this is something you will eventually need to do, in order to live again.<P>If a spouse is still in the affair, or is not showing remorse, then this is a different story. <BR>Summertime, I wish you happiness.

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