<BR>I just finished writing my memoirs on the Emotional Needs forum in the "Let's Talk About Cops Thread" by Wifeofcop...<P>It occurred to me that you gals had asked me some questions about my story and I don't think that I ever got to relating it here...at least I don't remember writing so much in a long time....<P>I am sorry if I didn't, my memory is one of the things that I am trying to recover!!!!<P>Lori (Lostva) is going to come along and link it here for me because I also forgot how to do that!!!! (sorry Chris....I know that you told me a long time ago how to link but I don't remember and can't recall where I wrote it down either!!!!) LOL!!!!<P>Anyway, if still interested - the whole (or most of the) ride on my Horror Highway is written there for ya!!!<P>Any questions just ask away....<P>BIG HUGS,<P>Sheba

Trying to beat lori to it... <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/001610-2.html" TARGET=_blank>Sheba's story</A><P>

Thanks, K!! You beat me while Robert and Sheba were chattin' on the phone!! <BR> <P>Lori

see below<p>[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited August 31, 2000).]

Sheba,<P>Just type in the url (listed at the top of the page you want to link to) and the UBB will hyperlink it automatically.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com</A> <P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Well Sheba,<P>I read your post .... And what a post! Didn't wait for a link just navigated myself there.<P>I didn't know until I read it that your H was a Cop. Now alot of your earlier posts on the GQ forum make better sense to me.<P>I see so much in this post Sheba, what a hurricane of events to live thru for both you and H. I've never known a Cop or a Cop's wife, but I've always perceived that their life is a challenging one, more so than the average marriage relationship. All the control, power and potential life threatening daily work would require both parties to be stead fast and strong in character to survive it. <P>I find a Cop's personal and work life and how one impacts the other very interesting. So much so that I believe there should be a documentary on the dynamics of the underground "Power" policies they live by.<P>Hey, you could be a consultant, or better yet, you could write it, Sheba!<P>The only way I see your H waking up from his addiction is if he changes careers, or gets on a desk job for a while within law enforcement. But I believe he is still milking the power & control addiction and all it's byproducts for everyhing it's worth, it sounds like it's a " Mega High", he's just gonna have to hit rock bottom ... and then I believe he'll come looking for YOU.<P>God does know what he's doing Sheba. If your H would have married any other woman, she wouldn't have lasted 10 days of what you've been thru, she'd have thrown in the towel and moved on. But you are married to WoD for a reason, you're in his life and that isn't a accident. This life of ours is so uncertain and your H lives on the edge every day of his life, it seems. There will come a time he will need you and only you, I think you already know this, Sheba.<P>I respect you for your complete and unwaivering belief in your H, I wish I had that constant reservoir of strength you seem to draw from.<P>When I read your posts and you talk about how we should treat our spouses with love and respect regardless of what we're getting in return because they aren't doing this diliberately to US, I get very inspired and agree with you 100%, but as the day goes by I allow those little triggers to seep into my head ... I start feeling righteous in my pain and hurt and become angry with my H all over again. I guess I need to keep all those posts in my pocket for reading everytime I'm attacked by the "Affair Triggers".<P>I need to go right now, but I want to post more later on this thread when I get home from work.<P>Thank you for the background on you and WoD. <P>Best to you, Sheba.<P>Jo<p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited August 31, 2000).]

Sheba, I read your story. I would describe my situation similarly. (though I am not a wife of a cop)<P>The dance we play..... it is the same! You are a strong woman. I have learned much from your story and your wonderful responses!

Ok, So I am completely embarassed that I forgot about replying to this thread!!<P>I AM SOOOOOOO SORRY!!!!!<P>K - Thanks for doing the link, I love to see you "beat" people getting to something.....teehee!!!! (sorry Lori!)<P>One thing that you didn't tell me was how to name the link....how do you do that?<P>Lostva - It's OK, you needed to stand by Robert to translate when you got back on the phone remember.....LOL!!! Love Ya!!!!<P>Chris - Thanks for the instructions again....you're a doll!!! I have to link my 3 Myth thread on EN forum and will try it......<P>Resilient - Thanks for showing an interest and taking the time to go over my story. A profession such as law enforcement can definitely add another wrench into our situations!!!<P>I agree that there should be some kind of informative program or literature about these types of professions...there are some, but most just go on about dealing with the dangers and anxieties of the job (very important also) and I haven't seen anything dealing with the social/brotherhood pressures in the forefront!!! I don't know about me writing it though.....LOL!!! They'd be out to get me after that!!!!<P>What you wrote about me and H....yeah, I think I do know it - somehow!!! Although we are "divorced", he will be in my life and I in his.....it's like a "given".<P>Which I think is great!!! I also believe that it is the way it is supposed to be with us.<P>Strange......eh?<P>It really does help your own soul not to focus on the hurt that ends up in your lap because of their actions....yes, a rational thinking person would know better than to cause so much pain, but not a messed up thinking person - which is exactly what they are. It's not an excuse for them to not bear the responsibility, it is an explanation of how a good person can behave cruelly.<P>There is a big difference. <P>We have so much power over our minds. Pride is the easiest to turn from foolish and selfish to the good kind that benefits us and those we love.<P>Keep working and growing Jo, you will be all the better for it.<P>TooTrusting - I want to thank you also, for taking the time and having the interest to read my ramblings. I do go on, don't I? LOL!!!<P>Yes, we do all sorts of dances....funny how we get to that!!! Part of our learning goals is to stop it!!!!<P>I can see the similarities in your H's profession.....bonding over human life in a way. Just another hurdle to get over.<P>We will jump these hurdles...somehow!!!<BR>You have to believe it!!!!<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba<BR>