For those who don't remember, I confirmed H's PA on 9 January 2000, discovered a slew of Internet affairs in March, and a long-term phone sex affair in April. <P>Last night he left his laptop on and unattended and I discovered 8 (count 'em! 8!) ongoing Internet affairs, including one he was trying to talk out of going back to her boyfriend, one who was going to be in NJ the same time he was going there "for work" ("I don't know why I keep trying, dearest, it seems we're NEVER going to get together <B>again</B>!"--bold emphasis added) and one dominant/submissive relationship ("This girl is pleased to wear your collar, Master A..." I had to laugh out loud reading that one it was so sick). <P>There were messages to at least one of them on each of the major anniversaries I told you before I was dreading in September: his birthday, our anniversary, our son's first birthday, and my birthday. And he didn't even get me a stupid card for my birthday.<P>I gave H a choice: give me the computer and let me read them all or I was taking the child and leaving. I probably wouldn't have given him the option except I couldn't find the car keys in this stupid messy house. He gave me the computer and I wrote each of the little witches an e-mail telling them I was sorry if they had been mislead but H was married and they were filfthy so and sos and I made H send each e-mail.<P>H is "happy" I found them. I told him I heard that song before.<P>I am mad at myself because I had told myself I would leave if I found one more of these, and here there are eight of them and I'm still here.<P>I told H I would not proceed with any divorce paperwork for six months while he tried to get his act together. I told him he needed counseling for his sex addiction and if I didn't see that he was getting it I was leaving at the end of the six months. <P>I told him that if he had developed an addiction to alcohol or drugs I would have tried to stand by him unless he hurt me or my son. I told him the same applied to this situation, and that he was treading in dangerous territory because he had already hurt me.<P>I slept in the guest room and intend to stay there. I told him I would not sleep in the bed he had ... done stuff ... in while speaking to his whores on the phone. He ordered a new mattress and box spring and is paying for it out of his e-business money, not the family funds. I don't know if I'll return to our room after the new bed arrives.<P>I have lost all love for my husband. If he wants to make this work, he has to do the work this time. <P>That is where I am. I don't know where I'm going.<P>Thank you for your time. --HBC

I am so sorry. I wish I could make it all better for you. My husband is a sex addict and has started going to AA like meetings and things are really looking up for us, so it is possible. I feel the same way about it being like drug addiction or alcoholisim, but trust me, he will be reminded at the SA or SAA meetings that he is SOOOOO lucky you stayed. Most of the people there have lost everything. It is a disease, a very disgusting, gross, icky thing, but they can recover. There is someone in my husbands group who is 14 years gross free. The whole thing sucks I know, but hang in there. I wish I could help more, but if you just want to vent or anything email me eredd1024@aol.com <BR>Elizabeth.

Elizabeth:<P>Where does one get more information about SA or SAA (and what is the difference?).<P>Thanks. --HBC

WHEW - packing up the puter today, glad I checked back in! SAA and SA can be found on the internet, that is how we found h's group. Lemme quick find a link 4 u - <A HREF="http://www.sexaa.org/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.sexaa.org/</A> ok, that is his group, there is a listing by states of groups. Also sexaddict.com has a list of links. I will be back online after we move - should be all hooked up on the 16th I hope. Good luck and have hubby do the sex addict questionare on the sexaa.com site. He may be amazed. <BR>Elizabeth<BR>OH - and they are both 12 step groups, no real difference, just what you can find in your area.

Thanks, Elizabeth, I'll pass it along. Or maybe H will read it here himself. He has already expressed displeasure that I said I have lost my love for him.<P>It is odd. I didn't expect it to hurt this much this time. I thought I'd be over that. It hurts almost as bad as the first one. Maybe because he said "I love you" to each of the Internet women. Maybe because I'm mad at myself for still being here. Don't know.<P>I'm just feeling very sad.<P>Thanks again for your help. --HBC