D-Day IV was not a quiet event. I read H's laptop after the boy's bedtime and went off. (Nothing like it's "supposed" to be according to MB.)<P>Anyway, our one-year-old son woke up in all this. I grabbed him away from H when I still thought I was leaving (didn't because I couldn't find the keys--talk about fate...they were right on the table) and he saw a wicked argument.<P>Now he is very clingy to mommy. (Was starting a little--it is the right time for that phase, but now it's big time.) He seemed to be afraid of daddy, but he seems to be getting over that. He screamed when I left him at daycare yesterday and she said he was listless and didn't eat. He always eats.<P>Any suggestions for helping him get secure in his little world again? <P>(No lectures on arguing in front of him, please. I don't need any more guilt, thank you. I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation.)<P>Thanks in advance. --HBC

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HBC}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>I don't think you'll get any lectures from any of us, been there hon...<P>If I think of any advise, I'll come back. We can't be hard on ourselves, the WS is doing a good enough job of that!<P>One is a clingy age anyway, mine are now 5 and 3. Do you work far from the daycare? He mostly needs reassurance that you love him and won't abandon him. So, the more you can drop in on him and reassure him, the more time you can spend with him, the better. That is really the only way to let him know you will always be there.<P>Can you take a day or two off? That would be even better...Don't really know the answer, but remembering that difficult age. My little girl was 1 when he started cheating on us.

You are right, it is the right age. I think that most kids pick up on the tension their parents feel. With something as big as this going on even a tiny babe needs to react in some way. If he is usually eating and was not and daycare added listless to the mix it may just be an illness starting, a tooth coming, or just an off day. I would take it easy on yourself, that would be the best way to help him. We have enough things to worry about now, and adding things is just going to make it worse on everyone. Let daycare know that things are stressed at home. I was in the field (teacher, director) for years, and when we know things are stressed we try and make time for extra hugs and lovin. You don't have to go into any detail. Just things are stressed will suffice. Make time for relaxing with baby and both parents. Play a little game together, go to the park or for a walk, not only will that do the baby good, it might just help you too. Don't be hard on yourself, I have put the kids through a few juicy scenes in our marriage, and it's just the way it goes. We try our best and that is all we can do.

Thank you, Schizzo and Just for your replies.<P>The little boy was much better today in daycare. I sat with him for about a half an hour (he wouldn't venture off my lap) and then the lady tempted him off my lap with a cheeto (he's my kid--"love ya ma, but we're talkin' junk food") and I slipped away while the other kids were entertaining him.<P>And he said, "Mama!" when I got home and he meant ME! He's such a little ray of sunshine!<P>Thanks again. --HBC