Hi y'all,<P>(I'm feeling particularly Southern Belle-like today!)<P>If you don't mind sharing, I would like to know:<P>Were you and/or your spouse married before the two of you married each other?<P>Has infidelity affected any previous marriages? <P>What affect do previous marriages and incidents of infidelity have on recovery from an affair?<P>Also, how many couples actually pray together?<P><BR>Firestorm and I have been married for almost 24 years and have only been married to each other. I wonder if this makes us more or less determined to save this marriage.<P>Also, we have recently started praying together each night, and it is absolutely having a positive effect on our recovery. I cry each time I hear my husband ask God to comfort and protect me, and he asks to be forgiven for the horrible sin of infidelity and adultery. Firestorm's eyes get shiny each time he hears me ask God to touch his heart and keep him safe. It is a very healing experience that I highly recommend, and wonder if anyone else is doing this.<P>Thanks for sharing,<P>Peppermint

My H and I were both married before. I was up front that I had been married. We met during my divorce. However, I did not find out that he had been married before until after the birth of our first child. His mother mentioned it, not knowing I had no clue about it. <P>My H has been unfaithful in each and every relationship he has ever had. If you want to think of it this way, he even "cheated" on the OW by still having sex with whomever he was with during the affair after giving the oft used excuse of "we don't sleep together anymore". <P>With such a long history of infidelity, it is making it extremely difficult to get through this. A leopard simply doesn't change it's spots. How do you stop doing something that you have done repeatedly throughout your adult life?

First marriage for both of us. I dated a lot, was engaged before. He had LOTS of girlfriends, none that lasted for a long, coninuous period of time.<P>We have prayed together. During earlier reconciliations at my instigation, during last separation at his. Not much since we've been back together, though I've told him I think it is important. I want him to step up to the plate on this one. Some nights I just have to ask him to pray with me, but I really want him to be the one who sets the regularity in motion--and have told him so. And told the counselor, who recommended I wait on Guard, but be sure I am in prayer.<P>But, on the postive, we've been out of town a lot & have missed church, but the weeks we've been in town, Guard has suggested we go. He has also signed up on the feed-the-hungry board, both to serve at the mission and/or to provide food, which he prepared. I'm trying to remember that sometimes you don't get what you ask for, you get something better. <P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).

Dear Peppermint:<P>First, LAST!!!, and only marriages for both me and my H ...how's that for a positive, upbeat attitude!!!<P>I've always prayed...silently...at bedtime.<P>I know my H began to pray for "peace" for me (after discovery of his A) because I was in so much pain. We really thought I was going off the *deep end*...so sad to reflect on how emotionally conflicted I was back then...geesh, it brings fresh tears to my eyes just thinking about it. Oh Well, enough of that--on to *better* memories...<P>...isn't it so *comforting* knowing that our WSs are praying for us to heal...to become *whole* again <sigh>. And that we, as BSs, are praying for them to find comfort as well.<P>Thank you for posting this thread...it gives me a warm feeling inside.<P>...and, I guess the answer to your question is, "Yes! H and I are also offering up prayers for each other! And, Yes, again! I do believe it makes a difference."<P>Peace, ~Marie <P>------------------<BR>"If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars." ~unknown

Moving back to the top...as I am also interested in seeing/reading more replies.<P>~Marie