Hi all,<P>I'm talking about your own personal wish for yourself. Something that is possible, though it might seem like it would require a miracle. Maybe a spiritual or emotional wish, as well as a material desire that your spouse could get for you that would have a special meaning. I'm hoping for some soul-searching thoughts that might help us all get some ideas to help make our holidays special.<P>My fondest wish is that firestorm will give me the gift of complete honesty and keep the promises that he has made. That he will, from now on, be the kind of husband that I always believed he was. My material wish is for some special token from his heart that I can keep with me always as a reminder of his recommitment to me and our marriage.<P>BTW, he recently gave me a guardian angel pendant to watch over me through this troubled time. I haven't taken it off since he gave it to me, and it really comforts me. I think it is very sweet, but I had mentioned that I liked them and wanted one. I would really like for him to give me something that he chooses that has special meaning for him.<P>All ideas appreciated.<P>Peppermint<p>[This message has been edited by peppermint (edited December 08, 2000).]

My wish is for my WS to actually begin to care again... See past the end of her nose and realize there is a spouse and kids who are hurt beyond words and yet still stand their for her. To stop the pain and suffering that continues to rule our lives and to give a hug and a kiss to the people who dearly love her.... No material things are wanted or needed... But maybe that is just a dream...Crick

My personal wish is for amnesia, but since that is not at all possible, I wish for peace.<BR>Peace for my family, friends, aquaintances, my h, my self, and those throughout the world.

ooh. tough one.<P>My wish is the same wish that I've had for the past two Christmases... that my husband will wake up and realize how much he still loves me, and understand that I can and have forgiven him.<P>Materially ... Anything from my husband would, at this point, come from his heart, so I have no specific wishes for material gifts from him. However, if a new computer was under the Christmas tree at my parents house, I wouldn't be SAD! <P>But, truly, I wish that all of us would find some peace and joy this season, and recognize that it doesn't come from outside of us, but from within!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

It's too all-encompassing, although I wish it everyday, just to have had this year not happen. Skip it and start over like we were last Dec.31.<P>But I guess my real wish would be for my wife to open up to her family and to me; let her guard down and let those who love her help her; to just come to us and to humble herself for maybe the first time in her life.<P>WAT

WAT,<P>I'm with you. I wish I could turn back the clock to Dec 31, 1999 and have this entire year be a "do-over."<P>I would have done so many things differently...had I known...

Discovery was June of '96 when she told me that she loved someone else's H.... We have been separated for 1 year now and close to our divorse being final. After all that has happened, at the end of the day, I still pray for my family to be together again. Everyday I still wake up and have to give her up, still have to tell myself I was her mistake, that I was not the right one and now she is happy.....<BR>I hate divorse....<BR>mkn

I wish that all of us who are on MB trying to accomplish our goals would be successful.

Hi Peppermint,<P>someone very dear here sent me an email recently, which I can't remember the specifics of. But, it went something like this.<P>There were 3 men who sat outside a lady's house. They were called Love, Wealth and Happiness (I think). The lady of the house could only invite one of them in, and whichever one she invited into her house, would bring his particular gift into her house.<BR>The lady of the house had a real dilemma choosing which one.<BR>In the end, she chose Love. She invited him in, and when she turned around, she saw Wealth and Happiness following. When she questioned what they were doing, the other two said.<BR>"Wherever Love goes, we follow. But had you chosen one of us, we would all have been separated."<P>Although I'm sure I've got it a bit wrong, it was something like that. The moral of the story is that if we have love, we have everything. Love is the most important thing.<P>And that is my Christmas wish for everyone here, and myself.<BR>That we will all find the love that we are looking for. Whether it be with who we think we love at the moment, or whether someone new will enter our lives and show us what real love is.<P>I miss having someone with me to love. And I miss someone loving me back. I'm not looking for it, because I firmly believe that love finds you. But, sigh sigh, gee it would be nice..........<P>That is my wish for all my friends here.<P>hugs to you and FS<P>Jo

Dear peppermint, thanks for such a neat question. My wish is that my H could find some forgiveness for his shame. That he would know that God loves him and will forgive him if he accepts it. My prayer for me is to lose bitterness and anger and rage. I would love to stop thinking about H with OW. I don't know if that is possible, but I'm praying that God will make the memories less intense and less painful. I've actually had enough grace lately to pray for OW. I'm working on asking God to bless her which I know is the only way to really be free of her and to stop hating her.<P>I wish everyone on this site some peace, to know that they are people of value and what happened to them does not mean they are less than in any way. God bless you all and comfort you this Christmas!<P>------------------<BR>

I'm with CL on this one. I wish for amnesia from my H's affair.<P>As for material things, I'd like a plain gold wedding band and a proposal for renewal of vows. Wishful thinking though...I don't think either will ever happen.

I feel so lucky and so truly blessed that my H and I are doing so well. I honestly feel as though my wish has already come true. I thank God that my family is WHOLE again. No material possession could ever come close to making me feel as happy, loved, or as content as having the four of us decorating our tree together while Christmas cookies baked in the oven filling our home with the heavenly scent of gingerbread and cinnamon red hot candies... <P>So, my wish is that others here will find the same peace and happiness with their spouse that I have found with mine ...because I truly believe it's the one gift that God wants each of us to receive this Christmas.<P>Peace to all of you! Love, ~Marie <P>------------------<BR>"If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars." ~unknown

I think I would most like a Time Machine so I could go back in time before all of this mess! However, that is not possible, so I simply wish for the happiness of my family, and continued personal growth for me.

My wish is that me and my husband grow up. Yep, that's it.<P>Miaka<P>PS Oh yeah, and for me and my husband to get rid of past hurts. That will definitely require a miracle.<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited December 09, 2000).]

My Christmas wish is to be able to walk hand in hand with my wife and kids,into our church on Christmas Eve. To celabrate birth of Christ, let our hearts find the Peace they all so much need, and Hope and Love strong enough to carry us thruogh what lies ahead. For this I do pray.

To be truly loved by my husband and for him say those words to me once again. Nothing material could even compare!

Peppermint, my wish is just like yours. It is something that if I expressed it to H it would not mean anything to get it. <BR>H said today he wishes there was a time machine and he could go back in time and never get us to this place. <BR>Honesty is so important to me and I believe I am hearing more all the time, but still feel there is more to come. I am very calm about hearing H talk now and I am thankful that I have that strength now, though sometimes inside I am quaking.<BR>A gift that says H loves me would be a treasure, though he says so all the time. I wanted to get him a new wedding band and he just said "I know I am married". That kind of hurt.<BR>My wish for all of us is understanding and forgiveness for our spouses but mostly LOVE. L

I, too, wish to go back in time - back before I began to love the man who could change into a monster who who thinks having an affair and walking out on his wife of 19 years and six children without ever having mentioned that anything was wrong was perfectly reasonable, and who thinks I am stupid not to think so too, and who is perfectly willing to threaten his children with withholding visitation if they don't behave. I wish I had never learned that you can't trust anyone, or, if not that, I wish I had always known it.

My Christmas wish, I would like to be loved but I will take peace & that my children will know that they will always be loved & that they will learn from their parents mistakes.<P>I wish peace, love & joy to all of you & your families. May you make new memories this holiday season & that old memories are not too painful.

Thanks for all the responses. After reading them, I realize that I also need to think about something that would make my husband (firestorm) feel better. I think a special little gift, along with a letter expressing love and commitment would make ME happy, so that's what I plan to do for him. AND I am really working and praying for the ability to truly forgive him for the affair. That would mean a lot to him, I think.<P>Crick,<P>Sounds to me like your wish is for the "fog" to clear and your real wife to return to clarity. I hope it comes true.<P>cl,<BR>Sounds like a LMN movie I watched over the weekend. Too bad there is no such thing as elective amnesia. Our real wish would probably not be the inability to remember, but for it never to have occurred.<P>terri,<BR>I hope that one day soon I will read a post from you that says your wish has come true. You deserve it so much.<P>worthatry,<BR>I wish a do-over were possible, but since it is not, I hope that the fog will soon clear for your wife and she will recognize how lucky she is to have a man as devoted as you.<P>HurtingDeeply,<BR>While we can't do it over, we can try to do it better from now on. I know that you are.<P>mkn,<BR>I too hate divorce. I find it to always be immensely sad, but particularly when it is not wanted by one of the partners. I know that it is hard not to give up hope. I too pray that your family will be restored.<P>Rick37,<BR>Well said, my friend. I pray each night for all of us MBers.<P>bonnet,<BR>Hello, I loved the story. I know that love will find you again. You are a treasure.<P>Hanging in there,<BR>Your response brought me to tears. To read your wish for your husband makes me feel so selfish. I too pray for the OW, but sometimes not as sincerely as I should. I also pray that my feelings will change and I can tell that my prayers are being answered, though in God's time and not mine! Thank you for the sweet post.<P>Survivor,<BR>I hope your wish comes true very soon. I know it is difficult, but don't give up hope. Without hope, none of us would be here.<P>Marie,<BR>You are lucky, and you always make me realize that I am too. Thank you!<P>Alberta,<BR>I will pray that your wish for happiness will come true. I KNOW that the personal growth is happening by the wisdom of your posts.<P>Miaka,<BR>I don't know if it is possible to get rid of past hurts, but it is definitely possible to resolve them with a lot of hard work. Best of luck to you.<P>Daniel,<BR>A precious wish that I deeply hope will come true for you this Christmas. My prayers are with you.<P>Thanks to all. I'm glad we have this site!<P>Peppermint