Confirmed by H 20 minutes ago. A is happening. I am completly numb, no emotions no nothing.

Dear LnCo,<P>To actually confirm your suspicions hurts no matter how prepared you may try to be. Please breathe. Scream, cry, vent here. I was so frustrated, I shook for days. I was in shock, did not want to think anymore. The hurt, the shock was overwhelming. <P>Cry your heart out my dear friend. It is ok. If you can have someone be near you and that is ok for you go ahead. Do whatever is going to make you feel a bit safe. Your body may tremble, let it happen, you may get weak, allow yourself to sit down. For me lying down was too difficult. Sitting was better. <P>Is your H witnessing all of this? If he can and you can stand for him to be around, let him. It is ok for him to see how you are feeling. Don't worry about him right now. <BR>You are important to us. Grab hold of a big pillow and squeeze it tight. <P>Just thinking of what you may be going through is brining back those memories. Hold on to your heart, expel your anguish. Soon you will need to rest. Tomorrow will come and if you can take off from work, go ahead. The shock may take a few days to wear down, even though you knew this was coming. Don't push yourself. <P>Call me or write. I will be here for you. Anytime ok?<P>L.

No matter how prepared we are to hear the truth it always is much harder than we imagined.<P>Listen to what Orchid said. Let it out. Let him see your pain but remember no matter how tempting revenge will get you nowhere. <P>(((((((((LostnCo))))))))))<P>Keep in touch.

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I can't offer you any better suggestions than orchid has, but just want you to know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

prayers, hugs.

Sorry to hear, hope things work out for the best.<P>

I learned by phone,too. Not even the consideration of face to face. I threw up and had diarhea, at the same time.<BR>I was nauseous for months.<P>Listen to everything Orchid said. You will be numb for a time. I was for about 2 weeks. When it comes, the pain, the questions, the wondering if it's worth it, that's whne the real work begins. But so much depends on him.<P>The book by Don-David Lusterman, mentioned by SoDuped was a good one for me,too.<P>Iwish I could help you more. This brings up alot of memories for all of us who have been throught it. We DO know how you feel. <P>Is he there with you? Did he stay away?.Now that the A is out in the open,reality will set in for him,too. My H thought as long as he could control whether I found out or not, that is would be OK. He thought that was what he wanted. <P>You be a lady and Plan A your butt off. That way he can never say you weren't there for him and you can say you gave it your all. Let her be nuts and hysterical. That's what I wish I had done. But it was important to me that he see my pain...<P>Wish this would help but I know it won't. You take care of yourself and protect your heart as best you can.<BR>Hugs and Prayers

Discovering something like this is like a death. You will go through all the emotions as if you have lost someone close to you.<BR>There will be denial, anger, depression, and acceptance. Going through all these levels in emotions in any given amount of time is a challenge. <BR>Remember that when going through these, you need to find something to hang onto, a friend, a church, a counselor, a family member. Like the light at the end of the tunnel. In time these things can get easier and better. Also, please remember you are not the only one that has been betrayed. There are many of us here, and some have recovered, some are still trying, and some have not succeeded. But we are all here for you and will offer what we can. <BR>Hang in there LNC. Thoughts and prayers!<P>ILAC

Lost,<BR>I am so sorry for you. Everyone here represents your new family. Use us whenever you need to. Here's some advice...go see your family doctor. Mine has been supportive, as I have chosen not to tell anyone about my situation. Also do what I refuse to do. Take the medication the doctor will prescribe. According to my doctor it will help take the edge off of your grief. My god..I know it hurts so bad...unimaginable pain. So many questions but mainlky losts of pain and disbelief that this could be happening to you. You are not going crazy. Everything you are feeling we have felt and continue to feel. Keep writing here and let us know how you are. We care and will pray for you Lost.<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LostNco:<BR><B>Confirmed by H 20 minutes ago. A is happening. I am completly numb, no emotions no nothing.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Dear Lost,<BR>PLEASE...listen to these great folks on this message board! You are not alone and all of us know how you feel. This board helped to save my sanity and is making me stonger day by day. You need to let all of your emotions out, dear one, and it's true--let your mate see you go through it. I was a dope and hid my emotions from my H until one day, it all just exploded. By that time, he had even more 'excuses' and explanations in place. <P>D Day is about the worst experience anyone can have. I remember mine all too well, too, and you are right about the numbness. It's shock and it's nature's way of protecting us from overload. It will wear off, and like one of the writers said, then the hard work will commence.<P>Just be strong, be with people who care about you, and please keep coming back here. God bless....you've touched my heart...<BR>Luv,<BR>Winny

I felt that way completly numb for about a month. Boy, Then the emotions really came out and lasted for a year.

This experience is new to you but unfortunately to the rest of us BS on the board we know the pain you are feeling. The numbness will go in time and be replaced by another feeling you may not need or want. Continue to post here regularly and vent what you feel. Above all do not try to go through this alone but instead reach out for support for you. If you feel like crying, cry, if you feel like screaming, scream, these are your emotions and you should show them. If your spouse is upset by them so be it, he deserves to see how this has effected you. My prayers go with you.<P>------------------<BR>Healing in NC

Lost,<BR>A part of me at H's confession felt relieved I wasn't nuts.<P>At least now you know what to fight and how to structure your goals.<P>You will get through this.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{LostNco}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Ah, I'm so sorry... but you must feel relieved too... at least you KNOW!! <P>I know that's how I felt when the "whole truth" came out... even though it was years later.<P>You WILL survive this... I know it doesn't feel like it at this moment, but you WILL.<P>Hugs!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

My heart goes out to you. This cut me to my soul and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Stay tuff and true, things will work out if you want them too.<P>Good luck<BR>SP

Dear Lost:<P>I know nothing we say can make this any easier, but please hang in there. It does get easier. <P>Please stay with us and let us try to help you through this. This board has been my backbone for over a year now and I know what a comfort it can be. But you must talk to us so that we can help....let us know how you doing...we care....because we've been there and we know how it hurts.<P>{{{{{{{{{lost}}}}}}}}}}<P>Faye

I am so sorry, hon. But everybody is right - the absolute worst is over. You know now. Cry, vent, do whatever you have to to get the worst of it out, and then try to make a plan for what you want to do next.<P>We've all been there, so please keep posting and learning. You have friends here who will do their best to help you.<P>{{{{{{LostNco}}}}}}

I was numb for a few hours after "partial disclosure" and then cycled through all the stages - but each cycle was less intense.<P>You need to know that you will feel better, it won't always be like this. There will be better days. You will survive this, and I'm praying that you overcome.<P>Take it easy with yourself, you are very vulnerable emotionally - even if you feel numb.<P>Hugs to you, and a prayer.<BR>TNT

Welcome <B>LostNco</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>You have a lot to learn...<BR>...you are not alone!<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>

LostNco,<BR>Thinking of you and hoping your ok...<BR>I answered your other post...'SoDuped...over here' have a look when you feel up to it.<BR>Take care of you.<BR>