Current status: After much much much waffling, I decided to use the 'tough love approach'. I told H this was his last chance to come back. Our family was going to move on with or without him. <P>H said he wanted to come back. Gave OW the final goodbye of goodbye calls. I had to stand out in the cold and listen to the whole thing. Have to admit it made me sick. This woman (Mrs. Psyco Babble) would not shut up so H could finish a sentence. She rambled on and on and on. No one was better than she for H, no one could replace their love and the W was doomed. <P>Ok, after 1 1/2 hours of this, H left to go home. He now had only about 5 hours of sleep before his next job. The thoughtful OW decided her needs were more important than his sleep and kept H up for another 3 hours, so now H only had 2 hours of sleep. It gets better. That was suppose to be the last contact. That was 2 days ago. Since then there have been 2 e-mails and about 15 calls. 9 of them were messages she left today. Does this sound like a desparate OW? Can we say paranoia? <P>This is getting weary. Most of H's things have been moved back in. H will finish the rest tomorrow. Now the hard part begins, both H & I are apprehensive about this reconciliation. While we both want it, there has been a lot of hurt and different persons are coming back together. Yes, this is better than what it was but a whole new set of circumstances now open up. <P>A piece of good news, I informed our son tonight that his dad is coming home (H was at work). As I was tucking him in bed, I asked him what he thought about this. My little one said, "I don't know what to think, I am just happy my dad is coming home." I wish it could always be that simple. <P>L.<BR>

Orchid...<BR>I haven't been in your shoes exactly so I can't say I know what your going through, but I do feel for you!<BR>The struggle your in for isn't going to be easy, but at least this time it sounds like your in it together - that's half the battle isn't it?<BR>When your doubting yourself...just think of that little guys face when you told him his daddy was coming home...I use that one to keep me strong often. (we have two boys...one is too young to understand - but my 3 year old...boy does he love his daddy!)<BR>I'll be thinking of you.<BR>Take care, and stay strong.

Orchid,<P>I am so happy for you but don't except miracles. From reading hear you know that the road to recovery is hard & long. Remember to come here to vent & for support. Call Steve & get a plan (my biggest mistake). There have been several listed, I will dig tonight in my saved files & email them to you. Saying a special prayer for you, your son, your H & your marriage. GOOD LUCK!!! sing screaming across the pacific did you hear me

Orchid,<P>I sit here with tears streaming down my face. Tears of joy for you that you have been given a reason the hope. There are also tears of sorrow that I will probably never be given the same.<P>Stay strong my dear, I know you will. Although I still live on the D/D board I will keep looking for your posts here and maybe in recovery?<P>

Orchid - we will all pull hard for you both. Please keep us updated. The best of love and luck to you.<P>Dave (WAT)

Further congratulations, Orchid! We're all thrilled for you. I think if the OW gets ignored long enough she'll go away and the two of you can really begin again. You can do it!

That is wonderful news, Orchid! You two can do this! <P>I agree with Sing, I think Steve would be very helpful in this stage to the both of you.

Oh Orchid how wonderful.<P>Time to hang tough. If you read Dobson, then the groveling other woman is dooming herself. Let HER do it to herself, you be there to LOVE him.<P>I too, like HopelessAZ, cry for happiness for you and Jealousy for me.<P>Please, please keep us up to date. <P>Kisses and Hugs and PRAYERS for all of you.<P>Hopelessmom

I'm glad for you, but I know it will be hard, I lived with my WH for 5 mths while he was still seeing her, he said it was over, but it wasn't. He was like a split personality, and I felt like I was living with 2 people. I hope you won't have that problem. Now, my WH won't even talk to me or speak to me, he really gives me the impression that he doesn't have any desire to work our relationship out. I believe he had this affair as an Exit one. I hope things work out for you, pray and seek God's wisdom and guidance, I know of two very dear couples, that God performed miracles in their marriage, neither did it on their own, it was God's power that changed them. I will pray that power for you! Good Luck, keep in touch. SEF

Big, BIG hugs and prayers coming your way!!<P>Wow, what an opportunity!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

I will be praying for you, too, Orchid, and all of us!<P>Just keep your kid(s) in mind and remember how much THEY love him and how innocent they are!<P>Good luck!<P>

Wow, I did not expect so many responses. Thanks. It means a lot to me to receive such excellent support. You are a great bunch. I think another poster said that if the WSs spent as much time working on their marriages as we have invested in saving ours or the time they spent with the OPs, most of us would not be here. <P>Unfortunately we are. But the benefit is the great support and care. Again thanks so much. <P>Here is an update. I swear, we can do an all year mini series on these OPs & WSs'. Those 9 messages from OW last night were because she now wants to play "let's make a deal". Her 'theory' is that she wants to make everyone happy by:<P>1. make H go back to her<BR>2. make H give me all his money (she thinks that is all I <BR> need).<BR>3. 'she' will allow H to have his son, whenever he wants.<BR> (didn't know it was up to her)<BR>4. OW says she will pay for all H's expenses. <P>What does this sound like? <P>Go figure. H laughed when he heard these messages. She also called and yelled at him while he was with clients. His business phone has to stay on all the time. I asked H to get another company phone #. <P>I guess she does not know the meaning of 'no future contact'. Not keeping her word of no more contact (she admitted that in her message also) and not respecting H's wishes of no more contact is what she is showing by her actions. <P>Need to sit still on this but I must say the temptation to call her up and tell her off has crossed my mind several times. Anyway that is it for now. Sitting on pins and needles. .... Ouch.<P>Thanks again you guys/gals are great.<BR>L. <BR> <P>

What does this sound like? PANIC!!

Orchid,<P>Quick note for you as I am at work. Bad Knewjie, I know. <P>I am glad that your H came home. You know that this will be a long and hard road ahead. You've progressed so far in your Plan A. You are a wonderful person, wife and mother. It's about time that your H saw it!<P>One day at a time, remember that.<P>Also remember I'm only a couple of states away if you need my baseball bat! <P>My thoughts, prayers and hugs are with you, your son and your H.<P>I'm also sending you some of my strenght!!!<P>K

Orchid,<P>I am so happy for you! You and h have a long road ahead but stay focused and I'm sure you guys will make it. Take care.<P>Tulip

Orchid,<BR>Congratulations! I always check in on your post, cause you were the first one to reply to my first post.<P>I like Hopelessmom's comments about the Dobson book and the fact that now the OW can be what I might now call LBing! <P>Of course try hard to enforce & help with no contact thing! I've been dialoging with Sobelle (post: "Guess I'm Tired ..." on the "recovery" channel) & promoting Dobson's book.<BR>I expanded my thoughts on her situation with her WH -- I think your situation is similar(?) if you care to check out my thoughts on that post. From the little I understand about Plan A, it seems to me you are now in perfect position to pour it on! Your experience(& success!) may be of help to Sobelle.<BR>As a BS, I'm in similar boat -- my recovery seems to be going well, but never know when a big surprize may pop up!<BR>Best Of Luck!<BR>Peace be with You!<BR>HH<P>[This message has been edited by Hurrian Hoosier (edited April 30, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by Hurrian Hoosier (edited April 30, 2001).]

Orchid,<P>I have been following your story and wanted to say "Way to go!"<P>Keep up the good work. And update us frequently.<P>------------------<BR>Never give up. Never, never give up.<BR>~ Winston Churchill

((((((((Orchid))))))))))<P>I am so very happy for you. Please keep any documentation of this woman's harrassment of you and your H. Just jot down the times she calls and the messages if you have to. If it's on an answering machine, all the better. She has given her "consent" to be taped! Get a restraining order if you can. (it's cheaper than divorce!)<P>I hope you and your H plan to be in touch with Steve Harley through this.<P>love and hugs,<BR>BR<BR><P>------------------<BR>--BR<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BrambleRose:<P>Please keep any documentation of this woman's harrassment of you and your H. Just jot down the times she calls and the messages if you have to. If it's on an answering machine, all the better. She has given her "consent" to be taped! Get a restraining order if you can. (it's cheaper than divorce!)<BR>Orchid,<BR>I second a vote for this strategy!! I read on other post that some people sue OP!<BR>I filled a report with our local Police on potential for relaiation before I cantacted OMW -- they were very cooperative -- I think they eat this Stuff (harrasment thing!) up! <BR>[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Keep it going!<BR>HH<P>