Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
C
cl Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
HI All,<BR>This is a little vent, a little negative nastiness coming out! So, please skip the post if not into reading these sorts of comments! Yes, I am whining. <BR>This weekend is tough. My anniversary is tomorrow, my h is still overseas, getting ready to move again cross country with no h to help, need to finish house projects, stress of leasing out this house, working f/t right up til i leave, sick dog, etc. In other words, $hi^^y weekend coming up.<BR>And where is h? GONE. Is he ever here when I need him to be? Has he ever been here when I needed him? <BR>Ya know what comes to mind? A time when I had a little minor surgery procedure in the 1980s and a friend had to drive me home because h was golfing....found out many yrs later he was with OW. And another thing....when I was home caring for a ranch, working f/t, with little kids to care for and H was in the Bahamas for a week...found out many yrs later he was with another OW. I am putting up my own ceiling fan, but there was a time when h went all the way to GA to put one up for an OW. <BR>Yeah, I won the man....the marriae is intact. But what the heck did I win? The booby prize? <BR>Think I need a drink........... cl<P>ps send cheese to go with the whine.

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Q
Member
Offline
Member
Q
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
cl,<P>It's me, Sheryl (aka new_beginning with a cool new name).<P>That aside, what have you won? Precious little, it sounds like.<P>But here's what you gained: your self-respect because you did what you thought was RIGHT despite some pretty big odds.<P>You are a personal hero of mine, did you know that?<P>Here's the gouda... because you're pretty good-a [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 2,000
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 2,000
Brie, cheddar, jack, what kind would you like?<P>oh i love brie, with grape jelly and honey, on wheat crakers.<P>sound like you got more to do than one person should have to deal with.<P>maybe a martini is a better choice than whine thought<P>booby prize?? now (.)(.) thats MY kind of prize [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>i hope he gets it, how lucky he is to have the chance.<P>have a good weekend do something frivelous just for you.<P>------------------<BR>in loving service<BR>chaz

Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 174
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 174
cl,<BR>I make a killer margarita! Girl if we could only get together. We have way too much in common. Let me just say that your vent is my vent! We are moving in Sept. and where is my H? The same place yours is .... gone. My anniversary is coming up too and I can tell you right now I don't even want to go there.... Sometimes I'd just prefer to pretend that momentous occasion never occured.. You and I need to take a vacation together!!!!!!!

Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
C
cl Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
Laughing!!! <BR>Thanks guys. Not sure if it is the spiked tea I am sucking down or the nice cheese you all sent me, but I do feel better! <BR>Chaz, dear friend, get your mind out of the gutter...oh, I meant cleavage. On second thought, it might be a good place to be? <BR>Nyneve, like the name! Hero? You are crazy girl. Now it is confirmed. <BR>Broken, pack and i will pick you up. Oh, wait I am now drinking. You come pick me up.<BR>(((((hugs))))) cl

Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Hi CL,<P>Mini vents are ok. Huge big lamblasting vents are ok also. So vent away. <P>Wow, you are some lady. Installing ceiling fans, running a farm, being a mom, working, etc. etc. etc.!?!?! Sounds like you are treating this man tooo well. Hey I know the feeling. While I don't have all that to my credit (I am bad at gardening), I do spoil H. and away he went. Until he learned that home is where the heart is 'suppose to be'. <P>You know, when I had major surgery, H made me so upset (my only request after being in the hospital for 1 week, was to vaccuum the house - 2 cats lots of fur). I came home to a sink full of dishes cat fur. Oh, my silverware drawer had bee reorganized. I was so upset, I almost broke my internal stitches and I slept on the couch for the first night. Boy that made me wonder, what kind of man did I marry? <P>Yep, they can sure be thoughtless sometimes. I surely don't think you are whinning. There is a difference.<P>Now to the fun part, how about a tall Long Island Ice Tea? Made to order. It is almost 90 degrees out here today. Order out for pizza and ribs. Yum.....<P>L.<P><BR> <BR>

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Q
Member
Offline
Member
Q
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
I have lemonaide -- think I should just throw some Gin in? Yeah, me too [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hey, my ex didn't take me to the hospital with baby #1 'cause he had to work... and oh yah, he didn't take us home either, because he had to work... you'd think he was either the Prez of the company or had just begun his job... now where was that he worked??... oh yeah, Sears... they are notorious for not allowing employees off to take their prego wives to the hospital or home from the hospital...<P>That was 18 months into the marriage... should I have noticed that he might have been, maybe was, possibly coulda been, a workaholic??? Nah!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 174
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 174
Good morning cl,<BR>I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you. I know this will be a tough day for you, with it being your anniversary. If you need someone to talk to, I want you to let me know. Your anniversary is probably not something that you want to celebrate at all. So I would just pretend it is another day and take life one day at a time.

Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
C
cl Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
Morning All,<BR>Thanks for listening to be **tch last night! Just another day in paradise?! Oh my. <BR>Nyneve, your h did what? My goodness....you did win the booby prize! Gads, wasn't that his baby too? Oh pardon me, you were the one that got pregnant!<BR>Broken. Yes, I will celebrate today by painting the trim on the house! <BR>Everyone have a great Saturday. There are a lot of things to be thankful for. Sometimes you just have to dig around to find them! aloha, cl<BR>

Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798
CL-you're on my hero list too.<P>At one point my H said I can do the business, household, kids stuff so well when he is gone because I'm so "strong". Stronger than he is, I think he was talking emotionally. But I had to learn to be that way because he was gone so much, it isn't my natural state...when Guard came home last year we had a talk that sometimes he doesn't feel like he has a stake in the house, or chores. So, I don't finish things he starts anymore. The TV room has been half painted for over a year, so sometimes it's a challenge [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]. The line between asking for something and nagging is pretty thin sometimes.<P>But I know the frustration of him doing things for the OW that I, or our house needed done. Irksome. Can you back track from capable to weak? Would you want to? Probably not, but it would be nice to have certain kinds of help sometimes and to not be "counted on".<P><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious...think about these things." Phil 4:8

Joined: May 1999
Posts: 2,454
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 2,454
Hey Stranger!!!!<P>I have the perfect solution Darlin'....You move in with me till he can settle in one spot.....I promise to heap loads of appreciation and attention on you for your "fix-it" skills (how are you with old cars?) LOL!!!!!!<P>What do you think? We could make a good team!!!! <P>Love Ya and Happy Anniversary......don't get wrapped up in negatives - pull up the positive thoughts, throw on some music and let yourself wiggle around to the beat as you paint that trim......but don't fall off any ladders now!!!! <P>BIG HUGS,<P>Sheba

Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 2,388
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 2,388
Hello my friend!<BR>I am doing my allotted 5 minutes/day on the computer so I send you....<BR>{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR>Do you know what you gained?<BR>You gained a life that is real. <BR>I think you know what I'm talking about.<BR>Now I am off to the vodka bottle. If I started venting with you I would be banned from the board forever. <P>BTW....HI SHEBA!!!<P>------------------<BR>wassi smile

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Q
Member
Offline
Member
Q
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Hi cl, Chaz, Orchid, Broken Dreams, Lor, Sheba, and wassi,<P>Just checking in and saw some old faces... having a bit of a rough weekend - long story - and wanted to see HAPPY FACES!!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>There! That feels **much** better! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
C
cl Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
Hmmmm, seems like a party is in order? <BR>Heck, we are all drinking so it seems ashame to do it alone! Besides I get more work done with some alcohol, friends and music. <BR>HI Orchid, thanks for the support. Yes, what kind of men did we marry? Sometimes when I read here, I truly wonder if we all made some rather big mistakes in choosing who we married. Would I have married him knowing all this nonsense? Absolutely not. Would you?<BR>Sheba, what would you like fixed? No, I do not fix cars very well-duct tape is abt as far as I go. Have changed a few parts but nothing worth talking abt! Wassi can fix cars. I know she does alternators.....ahem. And where have you been dear?! I have missed you. Post your e-mail addy again? <BR>Hi Lor, thanks for the compliment but it is not deserved. We should just come over there and paint that room for you! Yes, it is a fine line.....sort of like dipping your toes in a pond before jumping in? I am sure guard would just love us all visiting. <BR>Cheers ladies and gents from MB!!! To <BR>Chaz, orchid, nyneve/nb, wassi, Lor, Broken and Sheba! <BR>Lets count our blessings and a toast to learning to live again.<BR>(((((hugs))))) <P>ps....wassi, tell the alternator story for those that were not here to read it.

Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 174
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 174
Since alcohol is involved in this little mini vent party, I'm not responsible for what I say right?? I'm seeing 2 OW at ball park nearly every weekend. One of them I see almost daily at kid's school, cubscouts, and ball park. It is getting to the point where it hardly phases me. Now it can get bad when I see them one after the other and I start to hyperventilate a little, but I keep it under control and I have taken the highest high road you can take during every encounter. But.... in the dark corners of my mind I have the desire to go right up to both of them and with one fist knock the sh&* out of them and then make sure everyone around knows what they have been up to in their spare time. One of them just got her masters in counseling. Isn't that lovely?? I have one other desire and that is to retaliate! I've had sex with one man and that is my H. Don't you wonder what we are missing out on sometimes? I have a feeling my H wouldn't handle me screwing around on him even one time half as well as I've handled him screwing around 14 times!<BR> I know, I know we aren't missing out on anything! It was the alcohol remember!<BR> OK mini vent over. I'm sobering up now and back to reality. Life is good and it is short, so I'm going to take it one day at a time and live it to the fullest. H & I have a alcohol policy as well now, we never drink unless we are in arms length of each other and we no longer get drunk. Just a glass of wine occasionally.<BR> Would I marry him again? That is a tough one. It would be nice to imagine marrying someone who could have treated me as good as I have treated my H. Unfortunately, it's naive to think you'll go through life and escape pain. It will come in some form or another. So I look at my marriage as this somewhat unwelcome oportunity to watch someone that I love change into a man I can admire and respect.<BR> whew.... I feel better.

Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 2,388
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 2,388
cl<BR>Which alternator story?...refresh my vodka soaked mind. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>I have a couple of stories that come to mind but I don't remember which one I told you.<P>Happy Anniversary!!! <BR>Treat yourself nice K?

Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
C
cl Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
Morning all,<BR>Wassi, I was thinking of the time you were outside in the snow changing the alternator because h was helping the bimbo/guttersloth. You had kids to get to school and it needed to be done. Grrrr. Thank goodness those days are gone! <BR>Nyneve, why are you having a rough weekend? Whats up?<BR>Broken, stay on the high road!!! It really is the best one...not quite as smooth sometimes but it will get you where you want to be. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>cl


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5