Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#918651 06/09/01 09:00 AM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 457
A
alias Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 457
I know you are looking for encouragement...here is some:<P>4-6 months in the scope of affair recovery doesn't really scratch the surface of the time it takes to heal<P>BUT<P>you will heal.<P>We "Oldtimers" from 98-99 affairs that have actually applied the MB principles are all in much better places today than three years ago.<P>BE OF GOOD CHEER<P>it will get better<P>liz

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 486
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 486
Thanks Liz - I have to be honest and admit that this is the part that scares me the most - it takes such a long time and such hard work. Am I up to it? Can I cope? I know I have to at least try - thankyou for the encouragement!

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 103
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 103
alias,<P>Thank you for taking the time to reach out to me. I actually learned of his affair on 10/3/00 so it is 8 months and things couldn't be worse. In March, due to my own inability to cope any longer with not feeling loved (his fog was a long one - 4-5 months past no contact on top of the year he was withdrawn due to the affair), I too ended up in a brief affair with an old and dear friend. I have ended it and confessed to my H, who will now not speak to me. "I should have known better due to all the reading we've done about affairs".<P>I do not know if I want my husband back, but I certainly know that I miss my family unit. Is this enough to get started with? There are many things I don't like about my husband: He has always hidden things from me (I have very little trust). He started smoking. I have not been included in his life. He surfs porn on the net regardless of my feelings. His complaints about me are that I have taken the fun out of his life. I judge his friends. I don't take the time to look nice or sexy for him. I don't show interest in his interests (sports). <P>How do you even start to rebuild if you can't find love for each other? But like I said, I miss having a whole family. There are times that I sense a terrible loss and just feel like he should be here. If it weren't for my kids, I would not be going through any of this pain. I simply feel guilty for the failure of our marriage.<P>Is there a point at which it is better to move on separately?<P>I am going to post this to the world as well, since it is a good representation of my feelings. Thanks for helping.<P>Learning Life


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5