My wife has been having a affair for the last (2) years.. I found out about a year ago and confronted her she said she would stop seeing him and work on our marriage. The guy is a Vice-President of the company my wife worked for. I am a Aerospace Engineer he makes alot more money. Any way last Saturday after making love with wife in the A.M.( usually three times a week) I got a phone call from the other mans wife saying she kicked him out two months ago because they are still going at it. I love My wife but I dont know what to do she moved out last saturday. I still dont know where she is staying probally with him.. The other mans wife says her husband does not know who he wants and is confused. My wife says the same thing, but I think she is pursuing this man hot and heavy to make a commiment. She did with me . The sad part is we have two beautiful children (1) girl 5 & (1) boy three. They are confused. She said she is coming over to figure out how we will take care of the kids. Right know its all me. She says she went to a counselor and he told her it could take up to thanksgiving before she might know what she wants. Please Help????

I'm here Glen1, reading your post atm. I'll come back and edit in some things. Just want you to know I am reading it and someone does care. Someone will try and help. Welcome to marriage builders btw. <P>-- Added<P>Just curious how her counselor knows of what time frame she's going to do what. How can he/she positively say it could take up to thanksgiving before your wife knows what she wants? That strikes me as "Odd"<P>Either person not knowing whom they want in the situation is all part of being in what we call (fog) here at marriage builders. I am by no means an expert on anything. Just someone trying to lend a helpful ear, and perhaps answer some questions.<P>I can say read, my wife read "Surviving an Affair" A book out there, which I hear is definately worth the Investment. I personally haven't read it. Read other posts as well. Learn the site, and tools available here.<P>There are tons and tons of people here who are more then willing to offer you somewhere to begin, some help, and steps that you can take that will help you as well.<P>It may help you some to understand the (Fog) if you read some of my posts on it. Or questions other people asked me. Again this is just my personal perspective on it. This is what I feel was happening to me. How I ended up dealing with it. Where I learned some things. Ect.<P>Theres plenty of threads out there regardless and plenty of people who are going through and dealing with some of these things right now. Grab some coffee, stay awhile post, and read <P>I'm just positive someone who's been in your shoes, or is in your shoes will come along, and offer much better advice. I am the (WS) so I'm also kinda clueless about what steps to take as (BS).<P>"BS" Betrayed spouse<BR>"WS" Wayward spouse<BR>------------------<BR>[H] / Aeon Blue<P>My advice is my advice. Take the good, disgard the bad. Do whats right for you. Not because I said it worked for me.<p>[This message has been edited by [H] (edited June 14, 2001).]

glen1,<BR>My W has been gone since Sept. 2000 and I have a 7 yr. old daughter and 4 1/2 yr. old son who are just as confused as to why mom is gone. My situation is a little different because my W got pregnant and now has a baby by OM. If you can afford it, I would recommend that you have counceling with Dr. Harley or his daughter, it is well worth it if only for your peace of mind. I had about 5 sessions and it really helped me to know which way to go and what to do. I now am about to be divorced, but I have custody of my two kids. I agree with [H], that you and your wife should read "surviving an affair"..it is a quick read when you are in your situation. Keep on posting and you will find comfort here.<BR>floored

Glen1<P>You have come to the righ place.<P>Do start by reading "Surviving an Affair" by Dr. Harley. You can find it on this website, most book stores, and Amazon.com. The book is a road map of how to deal with your situation and if at all possible to rebuild your marriage. No, I do not get a commition. What my husband and I learned from the SSA book, from the other Dr. Harley books and from the material on this website has saved our marriage. <P>z<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

Dr. Harleys work helped my wife in dealing with my (A) it has also saved our marriage. I will be reading shortly. His needs / her needs. As it will arrive in the mail soon. Well not reading, I got the new updated audio cassetes :P<P>However. My wife did read surviving and affair, and "H.N.H.N" So I thank Dr. Harley, and the principals of MB. As it's meant the diffrence in my marriage. I probably would not be posting here if it had gone the other way for me.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers, Hugs, and Strength from both of us. Things do and can get better. Keep hoping, learning, and growing. Take care of yourself.<P>[H] and Knewjie