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Joined: Oct 1999
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Awhile back I posted that I am concerned that my H may be setting himself up to have another affair (he also had an affair in 97-98 with a coworker). There have been enough coincidences and flirting going on with a female coworker to make me feel very suspicious. Here is the latest in what's happening.....<P>Last week my H told me that this woman came into his office and SAT ON HIS DESK with her legs in his face!!! His desk is not a large one and his computer takes up most of it, so I can just imagine how close she was to him. This has me very upset! To my H's credit, he did tell me about this and said that he just looked away at his computer and didn't give her any attention for it. BUT he did admit that it was flattering to him and that he does have an attraction to her!<P>Any feed back on this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Joined: Jun 2000
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Did he say if he told told her that kind of behavior is unacceptable? Has he drawn the line with her?<BR>Ask him what happens the next time she makes a pass at him.<BR>Let him know exactly how you feel about it and what you expect him to do.

Joined: Mar 2001
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As Barney Fife would say:<P>"Nip it, nip it in the bud..."<P>Seriously, the sooner your H makes it crystal clear that this is not acceptable the better.<P>1. It's good that he told you<P>2. I understand his being flattered<P>3. I would be concerned about his "attraction"<P>Nip it...nip it...<P>E

Joined: Oct 1999
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Cleo and Elad....thanks for your suggestions. Cleo, no he hasn't made it clear to her that this is unacceptable, although I did ask him to do so. He insist that he should just work on ignoring her, but will not come right out and say anything directly to her about bounderies. I have been worrying myself sick over this "attraction" that he has for the past 3 months! It's taken a lot of convincing on my part for him to see that this relationship with her is innapropriate....more convincing than I care to admit! It's like he's already got the "blinders" on....<P>Anyway, thanks to both of you for your replies.

Joined: May 2001
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Sounds so Familiar! What I have learned from my wife cheating on me is that people do not lie anymore than they have to. Think. Why is your husband tell you this. and start reading between the lines. also show up at his work and let everyone know that you are his husband and meet everyone. this will weed out most of the BS. the rest you will need to think something up. I am a DOJ knee breaker and this scares the crap out of most of them. I know that you dont have this but if you show up at work every now and again. he will not be so open to act like an [censored] if there is a chance you will show up. Then look for late nights and always call at lunch. if he is taking a long lunch give him the Business. then the signs will be easer to scope out. <BR> Oh and being that your husband was nice enough to tell you about that woman that flirting with him. You look her in the eye and say something like " You need to stay away from my husband". but use graphics and be mean if you have to. I look at this like combat. I know like myself you do not what to go threw this again. be sharp and think out of the box. he thinks that you are stupid and maybe he thinks that you dont think that he will do it again. I feel once a cheat always a cheat.<BR> If you want I can Consult you on tactics. As I do this for a living its alot harder when its your life. Sorry for the spelling. Ill check back later. if you want somemore info.

Joined: Oct 1999
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the end....OUCH, OUCH, triple OUCH!!!!! I broke my knee last year (don't ask how, I'm such a clutz....LOL), and it was worse than child birth! Months of physical therapy and I still can't run! <P>I have gone to his work once (SHE wasn't there!), but it turns my stomach to think that I have to check up on him again. After all that we went thru to rebuild the trust after his last affair, I don't know if I'm up to another one. If I find proof for sure that he's cheating again, I might just break his knees! <P>Thanks for the advise.....


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