I am shaking uncontrollabley, but I am going to try and post anyway. Please bear with me, I hope this makes sense considering how upset that I am.<BR>I went to H's office today. Those of you who have kept up with my story know how hard this was for me to do in light of all that's been going on with a female coworker of his.<P>Well he introduced me to a lot of people, but SHE was the last one! I walked up and he introduced us. She said "oh this is your wife" and shook my hand. She then pulled me in close and said in a low voice, "I just love your H. We are very close because we are the only one's around here who know how to have fun"!!!!!!!! Then she looked at my H and said "isn't that right"? I said yes, that H, he is a barrel of fun, isn't he? She said something to the effect that he's acting a little funny right now though and my H turned beat red at her comment!<P>After her comment I kinda nudged him in the shoulder and she said "I saw that...he gets a lot of that from me too! I keep him in line while he's away from you"! And she looked at him again and said "isnt' that right, H"?<P>My H knew that I had heard enough and we started to walk away and she said "It was nice meeting you. Bring the kids with you next time". And then the little twit looked at my H and said "We just love kids, don't we H"!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>OMG.....I walked away calmly until we were out of her sight and then I stormed out of the building and screamed something (I was so mad that I don't even remember what all I said) at my H and left!!!!!!!! <P>What do you all make of this.....I'm freaking out here! Help!!!!!<BR>

Yikes! and hugs.......<P>Sounds like the little homewrecker is trying to intimidate you. I know it is hard, but if you allow yourself to BE intimidated, then you are giving her exactly what she wants! Some people just have no integrity or character (like her), although I'm sure you have plenty of both. Whatever you do, never sink to her level!!!<P>I'm new to the board (this year anyway), so I'm not familiar with your story. But my H had an A with a co-worker as well, so I'm with you there. I know what you have just experienced is extremely humiliating to say the least; just please know that the people here at MB are here for you and are praying for you!<P>I found a great little book about a year ago called "Surviving Betrayal" for women whose partners have been unfaithful by Alice May. It was my saving grace at the time, and I highly recommend it.<P>Try to stay calm.....and we'll be here<P>love & blessings<BR>BFBD<P>

hi,<BR>i'm so sorry....My H had an A with a co-worker and it is very hard to deal with the issue of going to the office... YOu feel nervous, shame, embarassment.. ("who knows what is going on, do they know that I know and am not an oblivious wife etc.") Not to say we should feel that way, we have done NOTHING to be ashamed of and you should be able to hold your head high, But it's hard not to have those emotions and feelings... Just remember you are the better woman and if you follow a plan, don't LB, and try to be the woman your H fell in love with, you will ultimately be the winner! Sounds like the OW is a real trip... It would be nice to have her have a little shame for her actions...<BR>The only thing I can say is I can sympathize and relate... and use that energy to work even harder on your marriage... Make her actions work against her instead of for her.<BR>hugs,<BR>Jen

Stay out of the reach of this one. She sounds like a real looney bird. I agree she is trying to intimidate and cause trouble. Don't let her get to you. Simply smile and ignore. You don't have to say a word. The more she talks or implies, just nod and smile knowingly. If that doesn't shut her up simply turn around and walk away(Use the hand in the face as you spin- this should make your point)<BR>And my point is the more attention of any kind that you give her the more power you give her to upset you. Take the control back. Be sure your H knows what you want and expect from him. This will help both of you in any awkward situation. You are a very strong woman, CONGRATULATIONS, most of us would have punched her.<BR>God Bless<BR>JuJu

BFBD, Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm sorry that you too can relate to what I'm feeling. Nooone should have to go thru this. <P>I keep going over in my head what I wish I would have said to her. But I know that you are right in that I shouldn't lower myself to her level. <P>Again, thanks so much for your reply....this place has been so helpful. Take care....

Thanks JenniJ and JuJu....your posts mean a lot to me. I came on here and posted in a panic, and I can already feel myself calming down just knowing that there are people out there who care and can relate to what I'm feeling.<P>My H will be home from work soon. I'm not sure what I will say or how to handle this. I guess a lot will depend on him. But I will try to be calm and not LB. I'll keep everyone updated....<P>Thanks so much for the support....

Oh, yeah, don't I know what you would have liked to say to her! Confronting the OW was always one of my favorite fantasies....it fed a lot of needs in me....the need to make her see how much damage she's done, the need for revenge, the need to make her understand that I'm really not a bad wife!<P>But, I guess I came to realize that confronting her could only make me look worse than anything anyone else could possibly say about me. Such shabby behavior might confirm anything bad she may have heard about me. And, at the end of the day, it would only lower my own opinion of myself.<P>Every day I pray for the willingness to put her out of mind. And, in all actuality, she is not my concern. She'll get hers someday. What goes around always comes back around!<P>Good luck tonite--think yourself "light" and I know you can rise above it!<P>blessings,<BR>B<BR> <P>

OMG!!! I would have punched the bi*** right then and there. Can you say CATFIGHT!!!<P>How could you possibly look her in the face and deal with that? You are a STRONG woman indeed! I would have lost it completely.<P>That is just plain rude, how can your H POSSIBLY like someone like THAT?? I think you'll be seeing clearer skies (fog lifting) after that incident.<P>Tonight, I don't know how you do it, but try to stay calm and ask your H what he thought of that situation? Tell him you found it extremely rude and obnoxious and you didn't deserve it.<P>Good luck! Keep us posted on what happens!

Angelface:<BR>If your H has any kind of cojones, this little exchange would have revealed a nasty side of OW to him. Have faith in him to see this. It's possible he may have gone overboard when relating his problems with you to her, and she feels some sort of justification, in which case he is feeling as guilty as HELL right now. Does he REALLY want to be with a mean, spiteful B*TCH? I don't think so.<P>My W's 1st EA ended when the OM said something so out of turn in response to something she said, that she defended me. (she told me about it, later)It also made her DUMP him. I think HURTBYHUBBY is right. The FOG will lift somewhat. If you say something nasty about HER, though, you may just find that HE defends HER! Be careful. Be non-confrontational, and just say how much you were hurt, and how you don't deserve it, or words to that effect...<P>When we insult people's choice in partner, we insult THEM. This is my golden rule #1.<P>I'm sorry you had to endure that. She was obviously trying to "stick it to you", because truthfully, she's the one hurting because he's still with YOU. I'm a lot more forgiving of people generally than a lot of people on this forum, and I wouldn't poison myself indulging in negative thinking about her, if I were you. Maintain your dignity, and show your H you're the class act he married.<P>(((((((((HUGS)))))))))<BR>muzohead

All:<P>The fog is why H didn't/won't see/say anything.<P>A 2x4 might wake him up, but that is not the MB way.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL