We are just starting on the road to anything. I just found out about A a little over a month ago. H says that it is over but admits that it is hard. We are seeing a MC(together and individually). Now he says he is thinking about moving out for 6months. To see if he misses me and if he can handle it. Says we will go on dates. He hasn't mentioned it again yet but we are in the process of moving so it might come up after we get settled. He says he talked with the MC about it and he states maybe not a bad idea as long as no contact with OW. What do you all think?? Should I support his decision, or try to convince him to stay?

First, Welcome! And please check out the welcome information on the Just Found Out Forum, and read through the principles on the MB web-site. Plan A, Emotional Needs, and Love Busters are the basics to understanding and communicating.<P>Try to encourage him to stay if at all possible. But sounds like he has made up his mind, so don't push the issue - depends on hsis attitude, etc. on how hard you can push. Read as much as you can here to learn techniques, etc. You need to begin Plan A as soon as possible. It is not OVER if he moves out. Just makes it harder on you to implement changes in yourself and demonstrate them.<P>You'll get some more advice shortly, but in the meantime, check out the things I mentioned above.

We were in counseling for about a year - we are divorcing, but not after giving it our best shot and effort.<P>Our counselor said don't leave the house - seperate but in the same house, different rooms - he felt once one has moved out - let alone 'dates' during the seperation - it is very hard to repair the hurt,damage it can do - particularly on top of the affair damage. <P>I don't know - sounds really risky. Good luck

KID,<P>Welcome to marriage builders You have come to a good place that is full of a wealth of information.<P>I will provide you with a couple of links to some really good info compiled by a man who really knows his MB stuff.<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A><BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000177.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A><BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome with links</A><P>I hope you find these links useful!<P>Please take the time to read them.<P>As for your situation at hand:<P>I would go out on a limb here and say most WS talk about leaving at some point, even the ones who have ended their affairs. I think it may have something to do with the guilt they feel about what they have done to their spouse, their marriage, their families...<BR>For most it is a passing thought, for some it is something they seriously consider, for others it is a way to manipulate the BS into begging them to stay.<BR>I think working on a marriage is much easier when both spouses live under the same roof. Plan A is probably a lot more difficult when you aren't in the same house. It's hard to really meet somebody's EN's when they aren't around for you to do it.<BR>That said you know your situation and your H better than anybody here, better than anybody that reads your situation ever could know. <BR>I know I haven't offered a lot of advice. Nobody can tell you what to do. It's a decision that you will have to come to after weighing all the possible outcomes of either situation.<BR>I would definetly wait it out though. Don't bring up his leaving unless he does. It very well could have been nothing more than a fleeting thought.<P>Godbless<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole <p>[This message has been edited by Patient Love (edited August 02, 2001).]