Hi, <p>Just thought I'd share the latest. <p>OW called tonight. It's that time of the month again (she makes these semi monthly periodic calls since August) and she called the house phone. I picked it up and there she was. I asked who it was and she said 'Mrs. Psyco Babble Rabbit' (not really, she gave her name but I like her nick name better - he he he).<p>She called a few days ago wanting to know what she did wrong......duh..... dumb bunny... now she is calling the house phone because H won't pick up when she calls his cell.... she now is asking if he is mad at her & can she talk with him...... Guess she has nothing better to do on a Friday night. I just can't think of anyone I hate enough to send her to. LOL!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>H was on his way out the door to go to work. Actually on the porch step. I took him the phone & was amazingly not upset. I handed him the phone and he immediately knew who it was. He kinda rolled his eyes and took the phone. Neither of us was upset while we both stood there and she began to babble. He just kept saying, don't call this number, I don't appreciate it (now he thinks he is being firm). Then he repeatedly said he had to go and I hung up the phone. <p>Amazing....I was not upset. After he left I started to shake, thought I was cold so I put on a jacket, kept shivering like I was standing barefoot in snow.......called H on his cell and told him. He felt bad and said he needed to change his cell number then we discussed about filing harrassment charges if she keeps this up and what to do when she calls the house again. <p>H said he needs to separate himself from her completely (meaning change #s - already no physical contact just these random phone calls). He even asked if he was forward enough and I said, well to most people maybe a bit but if she is psyco may not what do you think? He agreed she may be a bit off her rocker......<p>After a while, I calmed down and while I still feel a bit shakey on the inside, I am ok. <p>Just wanted to share. Kind of a recovery milestone of sorts. <p>Wanted to ask: This rabbit person calls about every 2 weeks. When she does call it is several calls in a row (8 times in one day, 3 times the next, 4 times, etc.) It is not just a call and a casual message, more like a panic call. Of course I have not heard all of her calls but that is what I have observed. Any insight on this type of behavior?<p>Take care everyone.<p>L.<p>[ December 29, 2001: Message edited by: Orchid ]<p>[ December 29, 2001: Message edited by: Orchid ]</p>

Hugzzz Orchid....<p>I just happen to be on...checking on a few people [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] ...<p>No experience on my end...it is my H who seems to call OW [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I would just record day and time of each call so that you have documentation for any filing of harassment charges or restraining order...probably the best you can do...<p>Changing phone #'s is such a hassle...but also probably a good idea...<p>Take care,
Cali

Hi,
New here, can't offer much but I care.....
I take it this affair is over..how long did it last and are you guys working things out? I admire how you handle things. Wish I could give you a hug...There are so many good people here. I am getting lots of insight...
:-) *T*
job: RN
Married 8 years March 2002
no kids/one big fat cat..:-)
Husband and I working things out

Orchid, <p>Does sound like she is panicing... and really getting crzy as she has no respect that he is home with his WIFE. I have in my crze.. called H over and over... and am stopping... <p>Definitely record the time and date, I think you can call the police and try to get some kind of box to put on your phone that will record the call... at lesat my H sd the OW has one in case I call her... funny I have only called her a few times... but she really wants it to stop... DOES NOT WNAT HER H KNOWING WHAT HIS SLUT WIFE IS UP TO< DOES SHE???<p>Anyway... maybe call police and inquire what next steps are... <p>ALso keep that log by tht phone.. I would have a pscho rabbit notebook to record all the pscho rabbits actions in...<p>I would discuss with H changing home and cell phones to unlisted immediately.<p>YOu can call block her number too.<p>Do you and H go to counseling, discuss there if you can.<p>I would do everything you can to cease all contact , she may try to go to extremes to contact him when you are not around... I know you are scared anyway, and not trying to scare you... the shaking... <p>i was shaking too a while back when I first found an email on my h's email from my psycho bi---!<p>I could not believe it.<p>Hugs to you, thanks for all hyour support of me, email me if you want to talk or even get my number... I would love to be here for you, my cell phone has free long distance at night...and wkends... <p>lisaannsmail@yahoo.com<p>I am praying for you and I care what happens, it sounds that your H is working hard to restore your marriage, and I applaud that... <p>Thank him for what he is doing and express your genuine appreciation to him for staying true to your marrigae and building a better relationship with you.<p>I am sorry this is ahppening.. I know when my H gets a little away for the psycho in our lives,... she calles, or offers sex or somthing.. HUGS TO YOU> <p>YOur friend, Lisa What a psycho! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

Orchid, I would have to say that Honey hit the nail on the head. The ole call block on her cell, work and home number will provide you an immediate fix for those numbers. That'll also really pis* her off and she will get the hint. <p>You know how those dumb bunny's always get run over by the side of the road (*sigh*). . .<p>Guido

Orchid,<p>Cuddos for your self control!!!!! And H's reaction as well.
I suspect your shaking is a involunterary response to the revisitation of her having contact and associated feeling of "shock" about the whole thing. That being said... OW is going thru withdraw, and as with any addiction when one goes thru withdraw they tend to get obsessive, I have the phone records of my WS 1st OM and whe she ended it his behavoir was similar, calling every hour form 9PM until 6am. aS RECENT AS october, 4 3min calls through the day. (LEaving messages on machine,no doubt)Phone block will work but she can always call from a pay phone. I suggest changing the number and adding "Privacy directory" whereby at your option all calls not identified must be announced, that will aslo screen out unwanted"sales calls" and in my case bill collectors, he, he, he.

L - you did good. If call block, caller ID (to just ignore) are not do-able, I suggest you just hang up on her as soon as you/H know who it is.<p>Another fun option - pretend like you're an answering machine:<p>"ring"<p>You: Hello!<p>Her: Hi, I really....<p>You: You've reached the happy home of L and H. We're not available at the moment because we're upstairs naked celebrating ONE MORE TIME the demise of psycho babble's influence on us. If you'd like, please leave a message at the sound of the click.<p>"click" <p>WAT<p>[ December 29, 2001: Message edited by: worthatry ]</p>

Love WAT's response...go for it!!!

Wat - you are SUCH a stitch!! I LOVE IT!!!! Can't wait for an opportunity (someday) to use this on "our" OW.<p>O, seriously, I don't understand WHY he has to take her calls? Why can't you (if you pick up the phone) just tell her he doesn't want to talk to her and hang up? Will that make her call back?<p>I would be afraid that talking to her would be difficut and painful for him, too, and cause him to "lose ground" in recovery. I mean, I understand it shows him what a Psycho she really is, but he KNOWS that now! Time to CUT IT OFF completely. This is not good for you, for him, and she needs to "move on" now...<p>Love & Prayers,
Lupo<p>[ December 29, 2001: Message edited by: lupolady ]</p>

Hi Orchid. I agree with everyone else try getting the blocks on your phone first and you really must start logging the dates and times of the calls should you decide to precede with harrassment charges. I think you handled it well. Kudos to you.
C

L, I think she may be certifiably nuts, and if so, the last thing you want to do is mess with her head in any way, you are just rewarding her. Do not talk to her anymore at all, definitely H should not talk to her, blocking phone is good, nor would I wait on filing a police complaint, she wore out her welcome long ago. This is how stalking and such happens, and it is serious, do not joke about it, and get professional advice on how to deal with it. And she needs a call/visit from the police.... be careful leanne, take all the precautions you can.

Morin all,<p>I am getting ready for work...again.... and noticed all the posts!! Thanks.<p>Guido, I liked the 'dumb bunny run over story' and WAT....you are a bad boy.... I never would have thought of such a thing but now that you put this idea in my head..... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I am a bit of a prude I guess. But I will think about it! LOL! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I spoke to Resilient about this last night and she 'gently' pounded your same thoughts in my head. She is one amazing lady. Jo speaks very softly but carries a big stick. WHACK! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>All of you have put sense in my head....again and yes we will be looking into all those options. For as much as I have said it, I honestly believe this woman has an obessive behavior problem and what is causing it is unknown but the problem needs to stopped from affecting us further.
It makes me kinda sad to know there are people out there who could be spending their time making their lives better but use their time to make everyone miserable including themselves. Sad but true. But hey, she is not my kid, relative or problem so I hope she finds happiness elsewhere but not at another families expense. <p>Jo said that this is just how some woman are. I just can't phantom the behavior. The test now is will I be able to not speak to her when she calls? [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] Ahh....you know me....the sarcastic side will want to come out [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] and I even started practicing my lines on Jo last night and she 'gently whacked me again' [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] . H even said to just hang up. Shucks no smart mouthing.... LOL! I will try to be good. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>This forum is great. You all have once again pulled through for me and I want to say thanks. <p>L.<p>ps: This area's phone company does not actually allow me to block her specific numbers but I do have caller id, the box only shows the number after it is picked up so I have to go out and get a better device.<p>[ December 29, 2001: Message edited by: Orchid ]</p>

Orchid - WOW - you are amazing.
Everyone has given such good advice.
Change #'s, change #'s, change #'s,. Call display, and #block and whatever else you can do!!

WAT, WAT, WAT ...<p>That was soooooo GOOD!!!<p>You crack me all the way up. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Love you, L.<p>Jo

orchid,
i'm confused - maybe I missed it in your post. But why if the affair is over and it sure sounds like it is are you and H putting up with her still calling like that? Have you actually filed charges against her? If not, why? Like I said, I may have missed it but if I'm not sure I understand why you can't prevent her from doing this?

Hi L. Just wanted to add my 2 cents! YOU GO GIRL!! If you can't put a block on the phone, then I REALLY love the answering machine suggestion!! (or you could always get a whistle and blow in her ear when she calls) <p>Best of luck and God bless!
BH

Orchid,<p>I am so proud of you!!!! You did such a great job with the lastest phone call!!! You have become such a strong person!!! You did that by yourself, for yourself. You are awesome!!!<p>I do like WATS ansering machine suggestion, it's kind of fun did it once, also like the whistle suggestion.<p>
Dawn

Hi O, All I can say is that you have come a long way...but PLEASE be careful with this woman. She sounds like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, don't you think?<p>Be sure you protect yourself from this very unstable person. We care about you.<p>Congratulations on this milestone with your H...much deserved.

Hi Orchid:<p>Although I generally agree with the others that you have been doing good job in dealing with this...I think that there is really nothing that you yourself can do to stop OW...this is something that your H needs to do....he is the only one who she will believe...the only one who can convince her that it's over. And previous experience has shown her that he has waivered in the past...and she thinks that if she just gives him a little more time he will begin to waiver again. So she calls and he doesn't definitely end it...still takes her calls...still talks to her...and then she waits a little longer...and calls again. There is hope as long as he doesn't make her understand it is over....and believe me he could if he really wanted to...but he holds back...for some reason...maybe he's still unsure...maybe he doesn't want to hurt her...whatever the reason...he's not doing it.<p>I've heard these sob stories before from my WH...about how horrible she is...about how he can't stand her...but he still will not make the break to end it...so she still calls periodically...and he doesn't end it...and until he does it won't be over...for any of us.<p>Faye