I just came across a box of old love letters my husband had written me when we were dating. I'm debating whether or not I sould leave them for him to read this weekend when he's home with the kids and I am away.<p>Short end of story, he is very confused and moved out again (3rd time, 2nd since d-day)last Friday. I have been plan Aing and he came over for lunch yesterday to talk, no kids were home. Well we didn't talk very much cause one thing leads to another. Anyway, after, he asked what is love anyway. I think he has forgotten that he once had feelings for me like he has for her (although he does say he is finally in love with me again, just prefers her). He knows that we can have a great life together and wishes that he never met her, but he has and he has fallen in love and know does not know what to do. I have a very, very, very confused WS on my hands.<p>I'm wondering if it is a sign from up above that I found the letters today. Letters where he writes how he thinks of me all the time, can't get me off his mind, even talks of how jealeous he is (I forgot all about that, he used to be really jealeous). There is even a letter he wrote where I must have been questioning things and he taped an Ann Landers article to his letter that was titled "What is Love". It's beautiful.<p>I'm pretty sure that I'm going to leave them for him to read in a folder this weekend, while I'm gone. I thought I'd put a note on it "You asked me what love was the other day, I think you describe it pretty well here in your letters".<p>What do you all think?

Dear Hurting,
I think it would do him good to read the love letters. I gave my H the letters he wrote me and he was able to remember those feelings, remember the joy and fun we had. He said it brought back many good memories. He also said he had forgotten he felt like that. I think it made what he found with his OW not so very rare after all. He was more willing to try and find those feelings again with me.
Share the letters with him, and let him know that just like him - they are still as speacial as the day you got them.
Good Luck & God Bless
Mrs.S [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

well its hard to re-write history if youve got evidence right in front of you!!<p>he would likely benifit from reading them, but if you value them, id leave copies as opposed to the originals. <p>he may find tremendous emotion that gets channeled the wrong way and burn those darn things so you cant dwell on them if you know what i mean.<p>i hope they bring him memories that rock his very foundation!

Oh what a lovely gift from above these seem to be.<p>But don't just leave them for him to read. Why not arrange another meeting where one thing leads to another and as they get heated giggle and pull out the box. Ask him to read a selected few to you, then continue to the marital bliss of sharing yourselves with each other. Bring him back to earth by bringing him back to the heaven that got you two married in the first place.

Shortly after D/day, I too, found a box of old letter (20 years old) that we had. I put them on his desk along with an anniversary card. (I didn't get a card from him, never have since maybe year #3)
Now I had had the card before dday (the night before our anniversary) , well, actually I had inclinations about a week before but was still naive to believe he would never have a PA _ (yeah right, now I know better). So the D/Day with all the revelations was the night before our anniversary.
I think its a great idea/ Might stir up some of those old feelings...might lead to reminiscing about other times too. Good luck.<p>anyway, later, it said it did him good to read the letters.<p>Mikkey

to the top,I don't want to blow it.

I would leave them for him.<p>He can always decide to not read them if he chooses but he can't do that if they aren't there.<p>When my W and I were separated for the first time she asked to read the letters and cards she had sent me over the years. She returned them and said thanks, but never said much more about them, Thanked me for saving them, though. <p>We are separated again and she still is confused, so I guess it may not make for a miracle but who knows? Go for it.<p>I hope it works.<p>I can say the ones my W sent to me are difficult for me to read...it hurts too much to realize how much she cared once and now that seems to be gone...I s'pose you can relate?<p>Take care <p>E<p>[ January 11, 2002: Message edited by: Elad ]</p>

He called this morning and is still confused as ever. He asked me if I was still going to see the lawyer this afternoon. I had to tell him yes because I need to have all my facts when I'm away this weekend to think about everything. I need to know what my destiny and the destiny of our children could be like. <p>He did say he misses the kids very much and doesn't know how he would ever be able to only see them every other weekend. Well, maybe being with them alone all weekend will change his feelings on that LOL. <p>thanks for all your responses, goodby for now, I'm taking the laptop with me this weekend so I can stay connected to all of you.