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Joined: May 2001
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Warning! Warning, Will Robinson! This is very long, and possibly incredibly strange.<p>OK, boys and girls, let's look at this thing from a different perspective for a minute, shall we?<p>We all know our WS's have been "abducted by aliens" (thanks, WAT!). Well, today, in an effort to figure out what makes us continue to attempt to speak to them in "Earth-talk" when they've been abducted by aliens and infused with another, foreign-to-earth language, I came upon some other interesting behaviors we need to remember in our encounters with these alien creatures.<p>First of all, I remember seeing a movie several years ago, "Star Man" starring Beau Bridges, I think? He was an alien, and his spaceship crash-landed on earth. This earth woman lived alone, her husband had died. Well, Beau slithered (not sure if he slithered, since he didn't have a form we could recognize yet) into her living room, and found a single strand of hair belonging to her dead H. The alien used the DNA he found on the hair to make himself look like an exact replica of her dead H. Needless to say, it was shocking to her when she first saw him! OK, you're getting the point.<p>First Point: Our WS's are like the alien in this story! They LOOK LIKE our S's. We want to treat them like our S's....but they act so different! Soooo, when will we figure it out!?!? THEY'VE BEEN ABDUCTED!! And the only thing left in their place is their bodies!!! Their brains are gone....to moose brain worms, aliens, or worse. Whatever, doesn't matter. The point of this rather silly post is to help you all see that "acting like you're dealing with your REAL spouse while in the presence of one of these aliens is IMPOSSIBLE"!!!<p>Second Point: When dealing with the Alien, remember that just 'talking it out' - or some such other "normal" behavior you might have been able to do with your original spouse, JUST WON'T WORK....this ain't your spouse....this is the alien residing in their bodies!! Stop trying to reason with the alien....<p>Sometimes I just want to take my H, shake him and shout in his face, " Will you just please stop acting like an idiot and come home and get your SH** together!?!?" Ah, well, so far I've restrained myself, as I know it won't do any good. This ISN"T your spouse. Some other entity has taken up residence in their bodies, and erased their memory banks. Always remember that.<p>Third Point: IF and WHEN you do have occasion to have "contact" with the beings on board the ship, remember they hold NO memories of "dating" - "marriage ceremony" "laughter" - etc. These "happy times" from your time together seem to have been erased from their memories. You'll have to recreate all new ones for them to draw upon. All the while you will have to once again "ingrain" yourself on their brain and heart as the one person they will want to spend the next however-many decades with.<p>Fourth Point: IF and WHEN "dating" takes place, remember that you ARE DATING AN ALIEN....Falling into "old" behavior patterns, whatever little "intimate things" went on between you (I'm not talking about s*x), may have to be re-invented. Such as little "games, jokes, sayings, etc." - sometimes EVEN THOSE cannot be recalled by the alien. You must ACT AS IF YOU ARE ON A DATE WITH AN ALIEN. Restraint is very necessary while dating an alien. One slip-up, and they may zoom away back to the Mothership! Slip-ups include any behavior that reminds one of the ugly, bit**y, nagging, screaming, whatever spouse of times past. These behaviors have strange effects on aliens. It makes them run for the sanctity of the Mothership all the more (hmmm, maybe we ALL want to go there?). It sounds so "Nirvana-like" doesn't it?<p>I think it was WAT who once postulated that there are no MIRRORS aboard the Mothership. I whole-heartedly agree. There is NO introspection aboard the Mothership. There is no possibility of reconciliation or counseling, there is no "guilt associated with hurting those who love you" aboard the Mothership. Sooo, while they are aliens, using these types of tactics simply sends them packing again.<p>Well, kind folks, I think that's all the thoughts that are rattling around in my brain that I'm able to sort out enough to put down on screen (used to say "paper" - but who uses THAT STUFF anymore?). I may dig out some more analogies at a later date. If you come up with any of your own, please feel free to help out here. I can use all the help I can get! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>God Bless us, every one.

Joined: Aug 2001
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Hi Lupolady that was so funny and so true, you just described my H as he is now exactly.
And the bit where you said you want to shake him and shout at him is sooo what i want to do.
Brilliant post i loved it
Liz [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Joined: Apr 2001
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Good analogy with the Starman -- but as I recall, he was incredibly loving! Too bad these aliens are not that way.

Joined: Sep 2000
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lupo - well done. A fitting expansion of rules 1 and 6:<p>Rule 1: Don't try to make sense out of what's happening. You are not dealing with rational people, so your normal thought processes won't work. This is exactly why you're confused. If you can do it calmly, confront your spouse with any solid evidence you have of the affair, but expect denials and lies beyond belief.<p>Rule 6: Your spouse will act as if he/she has been abducted by aliens and had their brains scrambled. Just watch and don't take any of this personally. Refer to Rule 1.<p> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>WAT

Joined: Jul 2001
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[img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] Very funny! lupo... this is great!<p>Cali

Joined: Dec 2001
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Very VERY funny !!!!!<p> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Have you considered writing a book on WS's Behavior? I see the title now "The alien guidebook to your WS. lol<p>I needed a laugh today. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Joined: Oct 2001
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Lupo= that was so excellent, thanks for your brilliance... I am seeing, "dating" my WS, and it is so true... I can't do anything wrong - I have to be so sweet, nice and fantasy like, NIRVANA land has come to Houston....<p>I am not kidding, thanks again, I am going to print this one out. I am so glad you wrote this up, I am going to keep it in my purse... I did see that movie... and I am going to rent it... again... it is so true and so like my H right now... he is not himself at ALL><p>Thanks for the brilliance...<p>OH, let me see if I can add some alien advice...<p> Sometimes the alien will act like your spouse, do not let this fool you either... this alien who looks like your spouse... may one day return to themselves... but you must have much patience with the alien- and remember at all times you are dealing with an alien, until the behavior of the spouse who has been abducted starts to consisitently return to norm... I'm not there yet.<p> It is tempting to think and believe the alien is your spouse... but do keep in mind, all good things are worth the wait.<p> Be careful as you tread on quicksand, and the alien may turn evil on you with any slight mistake you make. <p> The alien feels they are gracing you with the presence of themselves, while pretending to be your much loved spouse. Keep in mind, that you can definitely let them think this, but slowly with loving , consistent, unselfish giving behavior... almost like that required of a newborn baby...your ws may come back to reality... however it is a SLOW PROCESS. Little things that may make you think your spouse has returned can be stumbling blocks if you resume to be more yourself with your spouse... while under alien abduction, a ws will run from any word, look or behavior that is anything but what they want.<p>Tread carefully around the alien, give yourself space, and take care of you... this is a challenge that requires extreme self care. If you do not love yourself, as your spouse will not love you while possessed, although at times ws will act lovingly... , you can be defeated. YOu must be strong for all your encounters with alien and wary if approaching or visiting mothership.<p>Hugs, HONEY

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lupo,<p>I'm still laughing!! Everytime I see the word alien I think of E.T. I picture E.T. with my H voice, it's so funny, somewhere one of kids has one of those dolls, I should go find it!!<p>Dawn


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