...For those who are familiar with my story since i haven't quite learned how to post my profile ...my husband and I have improved so much! My step son's mother is not as involved in my life as she was before and I owe it all to her finally obtaining her own means of transportation. Things are going better than they were but I do have one teeny tiny request from him..<p>it's easter weekend and i would love so badly to go home and visit my family which is about 5 hours away.. my younger sister recently had a baby girl March 16th and I'm eager to see my new neice as well as spend the holiday with my family.<p>the dilemma..we don't have a lot of money as mortgage is just around the corner so he had nonchantly mentioned something about why don't I ask my twin sister for some money since she seems to be "passing it around"... (she is the most wealthiest of us all at this present time).. I told him i didn't feel comfortable and he said something to the effect of she is my sister and it should be quite normal for me to ask and her to give.<p>So I did.. and my sister agreed to wire us some money so we can make it down there leaving saturday morning and coming back home sunday evening. I was excited and told my h and he then tells me i can go by myself??!!

He says she is not sending us enough money for a motel? i don't see waht the big deal is.. she offered to let us stay there at their home but because my h has not yet met her fiance, he feels uncomfortable in another man's home? maybe I dont quite understand all this. could someone please help me... i don't want him to feel miserable the whole time, yet I think his reason for not wanting to go is petty... it's not like we're staying 2 weeks or something.<p>he's always been like this.. won't stay at other peoples houses..won't eat other peoples food? <p>someone please help..should i force him to go or should we just pass on the deal?

Well, it seems odd to me, but if that's the way he's always been, I wouldn't let it stop me from enjoying my family. I'd make sure he knew he was welcome, but if he declined to go, then I'd go anyway. Is he objecting to you going by yourself? If he had some strong objection for some reason, you'd need to POJA it.

Can you just go visit your family with your husband's blessings and give your sister the change for his half? It doesn't have to be on a bad note. You can just tell your family that you were the one who really REALLY wanted to see everyone and it's not that he didn't want to see the family. (You don't have to tell them you're short on money and your H feels uncomfortable.) I don't think you are being selfish, just missing your family, nothing wrong with that...<p>Another thing I thought of is maybe your H doesn't feel comfortable around your family because of the circumstances surrounding your marriage???? I don't know, but maybe he's a little insecure?<p>That might be another reason your H feels uncomfortable. Not to mention the short notice & finances. Most men like to pay their own way, in general... (ego...)<p>OH and SO HAPPY to hear that the ex got her own transportation! THAT'S FANTASTIC!!!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ March 29, 2002: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</p>