Olivia, welcome to MB! I’m sorry to hear you frustrated. MB is not supposed to be in isolation talking about 12 to 17 pounds. It’s supposed to be a lifestyle of care and thoughtfulness. Probably a better place to start would be to meet one another’s top emotional needs. Usually it’s the date nights, 15 hours of UA time, where you meet Recreational Companionship, Conversation, Affection, and Sexual Fulfillment.

If you reread the letters posted, they are talking about 50 pound weight losses. I’m not saying this will magically vanish. You said your H already finds you attractive. When your other needs are met, you two will be able to communicate and work through this in a way that will make deposits for each other. Right now this sounds painful for you both. Especially like you said this has been an issue for years. Start on the enjoyable parts of the program together first.