AS I just said, I've been trying plan A. Is it pushing to tell h that you love him and want to work on the marriage and that it deserves a chance before giving up? My h says he feels like a piece of taffy with everyone pulling on him. What can I say to him and do to fill up his love bank with out putting any pressure on him? thanks for the help
Thats a good question and I donot know the answer. <P>My H is in the guest room so I try to not push, but when he is in the mood to talk I give me lots of info on why I think we can come out of this shining stars. I always give him hugs and tell him I love him. Sometimes he is receptive and sometimes he is not. I guess I feel that if I can continue and not push the issue and say why are you so distant? Why was that a one armed hug? Then I make two deposits - one for the hug and one for not being a B**** when he is distant. That means I suffer more - but I like to think it is going to be in my favor later.<P>Good luck!
Well I not an expert but here are some ideas:<P>When you are together be VERY loving (Zero lonve busting..this can be vary hard at times).<P>Give him back rubs, feet rubs, head rubs, etc expecting nothing in return.<P>Make your home as perfect as you can doing everything that you know he likes.<P>Think back to when you were first dating...what kinds of things did he used to love for you to do. Try doing some of those again.<P>Think of the things that he loves most. Try to give those to him. If he loves watching sports on TV sit with him even if you don't like it, etc.<P>I'm not sure that this will work for you but it may.<P>Good luck.
It's okay to tell him you love him & are working ont he marriage. If the affair is still ongoing, then you probably won't be able to deposit any love units. The idea behind Plan A is to show him you are willing to do it and you are someone he can trust & depend on no matter what. Hopefully one day he will realize everything he has with you & the fantasy of the affair is just a fantasy.<P>Don't push him too much to commit to the marriage and watch the lovebusters.<P>Difficult? Very. Impossible? No.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>