okay has anyone had an experience like this?<BR>My H has been acting very strange lately! I know work has been real tough. His boss has been off work for 2 weeks having surgery. Last night we were talking and he said he was almost back to "normal" not as stressed any more. Then later on we were talking in bed and he made the comment that his boss (female) and other supervisor (female) should come to work naked to get my H out of his depression. He told her to wait a couple of weeks. I said why did you tell her that, and he said oh, she just got a boob job. It really threw me for a loop. I am working at his job temporary, and I never knew she was having this done. He has been riding with her to work, and she and her H came over for dinner one night and he was saying things that I felt were not appropriate. I know this probably sounds silly, but It really threw me for a loop. I feel like he has some kind of feelings for this W. Maybe I am being insecure because now she has this perfect bod, and I don't. I was going to have that surgery done in January, and now its convienient that we can't afford it! Does anyone have any insight. Or want to tell me how Stupid I am being?

In my own experience with a work place, and keep in mind, this is only MY experience, that sometimes people do get close, and almost to a close friendship stage. Unfortunately, this friendship rarely includes the spouse. When my husband and I first were living together, (prior to marriage), the guys I worked with became very comfortable in commenting on certain areas about me that my H found to be inappropriate.<BR>Although it was totally a platonic friendship I shared with these people, he feared the worst. And rightfully so, as one took it to another level, and it ended up to be a stalking situation, that forced me out of my job. Perhaps your H hasn't crossed the line yet, but keep your antennaes up as maybe it's an emotional thing...you never know. As for the boob job...don't ever think she has the perf body and you don't. I got the boob job, and well, it hasn't done me a whole lot of glory...in fact, that's all my H sees now, is my boobs...with his comment that he owns me now being he paid for them and all...nice wedding gift eh?!? Take care, and although my life is a mess right now, feel free to email me if you like, I'm a good listener. <BR>BlackJade_@hotmail.com<P>------------------<BR>~Bren~<BR> Nothing will happen today that God and I can't handle together.

Marilyn,<P>You could really be helped by reading Dr. Harley's basic concepts here on this website. It might open your eyes to how a marriage is supposed to work (nothing is perfect though).<P>Please do consider talking honestly with your H about your thoughts without what Dr. Harley calls disrespectful judgments and all.<P>You can read more about me under my profile if you like.<P>If you would like to discuss anything off the board, you can email me at thoughtfulangel@cheerful.com.<P>Hugz, Thoughtful (Deb)<BR>

In my own experience with a work place, and keep in mind, this is only MY experience, that sometimes people do get close, and almost to a close friendship stage. Unfortunately, this friendship rarely includes the spouse. When my husband and I first were living together, (prior to marriage), the guys I worked with became very comfortable in commenting on certain areas about me that my H found to be inappropriate.<BR>Although it was totally a platonic friendship I shared with these people, he feared the worst. And rightfully so, as one took it to another level, and it ended up to be a stalking situation, that forced me out of my job. Perhaps your H hasn't crossed the line yet, but keep your antennaes up as maybe it's an emotional thing...you never know. As for the boob job...don't ever think she has the perf body and you don't. I got the boob job, and well, it hasn't done me a whole lot of glory...in fact, that's all my H sees now, is my boobs...with his comment that he owns me now being he paid for them and all...nice wedding gift eh?!? Take care, and although my life is a mess right now, feel free to email me if you like, I'm a good listener. <BR>BlackJade_@hotmail.com<P>------------------<BR>~Bren~<BR> Nothing will happen today that God and I can't handle together.

In my own experience with a work place, and keep in mind, this is only MY experience, that sometimes people do get close, and almost to a close friendship stage. Unfortunately, this friendship rarely includes the spouse. When my husband and I first were living together, (prior to marriage), the guys I worked with became very comfortable in commenting on certain areas about me that my H found to be inappropriate.<BR>Although it was totally a platonic friendship I shared with these people, he feared the worst. And rightfully so, as one took it to another level, and it ended up to be a stalking situation, that forced me out of my job. Perhaps your H hasn't crossed the line yet, but keep your antennaes up as maybe it's an emotional thing...you never know. As for the boob job...don't ever think she has the perf body and you don't. I got the boob job, and well, it hasn't done me a whole lot of glory...in fact, that's all my H sees now, is my boobs...with his comment that he owns me now being he paid for them and all...nice wedding gift eh?!? Take care, and although my life is a mess right now, feel free to email me if you like, I'm a good listener. <BR>BlackJade_@hotmail.com

duplicate <BR><p>[This message has been edited by thoughtful (edited September 30, 1999).]

Talk about Balls? You sure don't beat around the bush do you? How can you be so sure that he is being unfaithful?

Marilyn:<P>Please ignore "icouldcareless." He's here to disrupt things and be a real pain in everyone's sides. None of his posts are worth the time it takes to read them. Ignore him.<P>There's nothing you've posted that PROVES your H is cheating. I submit, however, that the possiblity is there. If you sit him down and tell him your concerns, even if they may be "silly," perhaps he will listen to you. Tell him how you feel and that you're worried. If you are sincere, and he can see it in your eyes, he'd be an IDIOT not to do something about it.<P>I wish I could help more, but I don't really know what to say. Perhaps you could see a counselor?<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>

Dear Brenna and Thoughtful:<BR>Thanks for your posts. Sometimes I feel like my marriage is slipping away before my eyes. I feel like I do so much, and get so little. My H is always working late, doing this doing that, I feel like I have cheated. I know that I have major problem with trust. I don't know why... Maybe it is insecurity, or maybe there is a deeper reason. I have read Dr. Harleys book! I have talked with my H about these issues and he thinks I am nuts. Anyway thanks for caring.

Thanks Lonestar!<BR>I knew that when we moved and my H took this new job there were going to be problems. Chalk it up to intuition (sp). Since we have moved there have been several occasions that I question. I just know that I feel so empty.

Hi Marilyn,<P>Well whether he thinks you are nuts or not, don't feel like you are. You have legitimate concerns about your marriage and that should not give him reason to think you are nuts.<P>If you are not talking to a counselor like Lonestar suggested? Sooner or later you will need one if things continue to bother you.<P>I would suggest talking to Dr. Harley. He does phone counseling at a good rate from what I hear. I have done phone counseling myself with another counselor and it really helped with our situation.<P>Hope this helps and please don't give up, try something positive if only for your own sake.<P>Hugz, Thoughtful (Deb)<BR>