Good News! I am feeling 3/4 happy tonight!!!

Today my h brought me more of my stuff!!! My new apartment in an old funky house is charming and getting more so by the day. Today he brought me my jewelry, which I have not gone thru yet and all my cosmetics....quite a collection. The one downer was some Aspen cologne I love to smell on him. But other than that, it was fun going thru all that stuff and this apartment is taking on the look of home. I don't know what this means. I cannot linger on the memories of him and me and our most precious relationship or I rage, but I am most happy otherwise being on my own. I have a great job and a lot of good friends and am in a terrific location, 2/10 of a mile from a charming old mining town w/ restaurants and boutiques and the post office. A nice walk indeed. Tonight, for a change, I am counting my blessings. My Lord has been good to me thru all of this and I am sure he will decide what is best for me and that honey that I still love so dearly. In the meantime, he has given me a wonderful life, family and friends. I had to broadcast this and give the praise where it is due. I just wish I had not been such a rebellious child to my God and pray that my rage and hurt will subside and I will continue to perservere until all is said and done!! Thank you to all of you and your support. You are ALL wonderful, intelligent and perseptive people!!!!!

Hi Ceverson, You sound good...what's the status with H? You know I've been spending time on the Divorce Busting board under the hopefulness thread and my mental health has improved. There are people on there who are separated but taking care of themselves and finding their own happiness....it feels good to have some positive feelings again. I think it boils down to the fact that we are each responsible for our own happiness and can only do so much for our spouse....take care, I'm glad you are 3/4 happy!!! Lu

Lu, Thanks for your encouragement! Where do I find that Divorce Busting Board and that particular thread? I looked but maybe it's right under my nose. The status of my H is that if he can't commit to me and feels guilty about how we came to be then he doesn't see how we can get back together. Supposedly, this big revelation came about when he became involved w/ yet another married woman. I think he simply has feelings for someone else and not for me. It seems like he is justifying his behavior. He says that if he shouldn't be w/ her then he shouldn't be w/ me for the same reasons. I feel this is a copout. I am his wife. Anyway, if anyone can help find this other site I would appreciate it. It would be good to find some insite as to how to give up my loyal companions, cigarettes and wine, that I have leaned on much too heavily during this long ordeal. Does this seem to be a common thing among those who have been dumped?

Hi Ceverson, The site is <A HREF="http://www.divorcebusting.com" TARGET=_blank>www.divorcebusting.com</A> then go to the messageboards and then to hopefulness. There are threads written by "Autumn"that are really positive....alot of talk of positive mental attitude which has helped me alot....After reading them for awhile I feel like I have a new lease on life...the focus is off my H and onto my life and incidently he seems relieved!..If you look at her posts titled Surviving MLC....Separation 7.25mos. she explains the basics of dealing with the mid life crisis.Tell me if you can't find the sites.....Lu

Thanks Lu! I REALLLY need all the positive reenforcement I can get right now. The negative was consuming me. I have to get ready for work now but will definitely pursue it tonight with a vengeance. Again, Thank You!