I'm SO TIRED of getting the "just let go" attitude! I spoke with my H's roommate tonight. He just divorced his wife of 5 years because they were incompatible. I say b***sh**. After reading the info on this website and doing a lot of soul-searching, I've decided that divorcing for a reason like that is like trying to live your life based on instant gratification. With an attitude like that you could go through marriage after marriage. I feel like everyone else wants me to give up because that's what THEY do. <P>Since I'm not giving up on this marriage, of course I still want to know if he's lying to me, which is another way that people think I'm obsessing. My H accused me of being schizophrenic and jealous, Not a pretty picture, huh? I'm sure this is what he's telling everyone we know. I don't even want to take my kids to playgruop anymore because the ladies there believe half this stuff, but I think going is the only way to prove that it's not true.<P>Yeah!!! So glad that the meeting was cancelled! Glad to see that your H doesn't seem in too much of a rush either.<P>About visitation: I was going insane with both babies alone. We try to raise our children in a very loving, attached environment, and that can mean spending days doing nothing but snuggling, reading books, making snacks, nursing and checking email. Meanwhile, my house is drowning in a sea of laundry, dirty dishes and unpaid bills. And who has time to eat? So, I decided I needed my H to give me some time to sleep occasionally. Also, I'd gotten advice early on from an attorney with experience in family law and breastfeeding, to encourage my H to take the kids as much as possible. Even the baby! Well, it breaks my heart, but I've tried to follow her advice. We don't have him take the baby away from our neighborhood, but I will leave while he takes her for an hour or two. So far she's been fine, she hasn't needed to nurse during those times and he wears her in a little pouch which she enjoys. <BR>Here's our schedule: tues & wed-H arrrives 6pm, visits with both kids for a couple of hours in house or at park, takes 3yr old for the night; fri-H arrives 6pm, visits with both kids for a couple of hours, takes 3yr old until noon sunday. Most week nights our 3yr old actually ends up staying with me because she may fall asleep while they're at my house. This happens a lot on fri nights too so sometimes I have her sat mornings.<P>My 3yr old is getting used to it, and expects to be at her dad's house certain nights. She calls it "my house" because that's what he would say when he would ask her if she wanted to go. She cries to go to his house, now. Sometimes I want to tell him to never come back and never see the kids again, but then I remember that I have no family in the area to help me and I almost gave him custody in a moment of severe stress and weakness-so I can't raise them alone right now.<P>We had just moved a few weeks before my baby was born so I still have boxes to unpack!!! I recovered from the birth and left him, so I came back to the house last month to find it a disaster.
<P>I know what you mean about not wanting the OW around your children. The OW I suspect was our babysitter, and I told her last week to stay away from my kid!! She's young, but fancies herself as a little mommie. She and my H shared a passion for our daughter. (My H actually yelled at me for talking to her like that "after everything she's done for our family") Arrgghh!<P>Lizbeth