Doom Reigning, Gloom Pouring, HADES is anything but Boring!!

Yeah, it's a down thread....I need to rant....sorry but if I don't - my head just might explode into a million pieces!!!!Why is it that every time I get to a point where I have a hold on myself and am actually feeling good.....something happens to just screw it all up??????I really don't know what the heck kind of curse I have on my life but someone or something is watching me and laughing their A$$ off!!!!!Apparently today was "dump more garbage on Sheba day"..... yes, it's a pity party!!! Not really just more of a crying can't take it anymore.....First, my car starts acting up..hesitating, bucking - the whole bit!!! Great...more money and just before XMas too!! How nice!!! Call the mechanic - can't fit it in for three weeks - lovely....now what? Go to the parts store - get air filter, spartk plugs, etc. Replace those (with a little help) and still does the same....great!!!Now call around to see which rip-off gas station I should try!! THEY're busy - call in case of cancellation everyday!!OK - FINE!!!!I'LL just buck my way to work everyday.......No problem - just another bump in my road!!Then, phone call from nephew - where am I and why aren't I at his house? HUH? He wanted some SNES games that are left here and thought I was coming over for his Dad"s (my brother) B_Day!! Told him on the weekend if my car is working.. He gets upset...I calm him...he's pacified...I am guilt ridden!!! No problem...another bump!!!Call Oldest Brother about finances (he's helping me!!) Get into a big discussion about house...he wants me to sell it as part of the divorce!! I LOVE MY HOUSE!!!! YEAH, it needs work and it is a lot for me alone - but damnit it's MY HOME!!!! It's not bad enough that my H has done all he's done, abandoned me, left me with all this responsibility, stolen our savings, my hopes, plans and dreams, broke my heart and devastated my future and my soul!! NO - THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!!! Let's take her home also!!!! Gotta make sure she's completely broken!!!! She's a good person afterall and we don't like good people in our FANTASYWORLD!!!!That rat B@$#&@d, Son of a B&@%#!!!!!!!!My brother made perfect financial sense.....my heart doesn't want perfect financial sense!!! IT JUST WANTS SOME PIECE OF HOME WHERE IT CAN HEAL!!!! OK - this one is a bigger bump for me : heck, it's a pothole....a VERY BIG pothole!!!! But still..no problem - I can handle this!! NO tears!!!Phone rings - it's SIL (H's side) The twins and Heidi were in a XMas recital that I didn't make it too.....yes, mondo guilt!!!! Well, I lost it.....waterworks at full throttle!!! AND the cherry on my Tuesday Sundae....in the middle of Niagra Falls - MR WONDERFUL calls!!!!I did well, I stopped the tears and he asked me about court tomorrow....HUH? Apparently, his lawyer told him last week that we are supposed to have court - told him that my lawyer never informed me of this....Then he asked if I had a cold - uh, no!! What's wrong? Uh, nothing!! You're crying? I am just feeling overwhelmed!! With what? ("Waterworks on....)THE FACT THAT YOU DIDN'T JUST SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD AND GET THIS OVER WITH QUICKER!!!!Yep, Sheba has left the building!!! UGH!!!!!He asked who I was talking to on the other line and then said he would call me back......hasn't yet!!!Thanks for listening...I'm such a loser!!!!!! HUGS,Sheba

Sheba, Keep your chin up. Someday you will look back at this and wonder how you made it through. Keep up the good work. Wish I knew what to say but I am not in a great mood myself. Just know that there are people who care for you. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Monique

{{{{{{{{{{{{ Sheba }}}}}}}}}}}}}} [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Sheba -- You are NOT a loser. As you told me not long ago . . . You need to relax a little. Yea it sucks that everything seems to go wrong at once, but it will get better.I'm thinking of you and saying a pray.God Bless

Honey, the best I can offer right now:((((((Sheba))))))From the heart!~Sheryl

{{{{{{{{{{Sheba}}}}}}}}}},You have always been so wise... And you still are!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Wisdom in many carries the mind... Friends will carry your spirit...But I see today you were really hit hard...I'm sorry the day was so bad... I know better days are coming your way... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

(they can't get all that much worse)Good friends are thinking of you! They aren't going to stop either!!!Jim

You are not a loser...but what makes you so wonderful also makes you vunerable.We all love you and you touch our hearts!------------------ Faith, Hope, Love Remain, but the greatest of these is Love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Sheba, Rant here as much as you want. I do not know how you have been able to be so strong and wonderful all this time. A friend told me in the summer when not only was this mess going down but a) I needed a new boiler b)car broke c)garage door broke d)son got kicked out of camp...a record as only after 2 days...and dad in Fla with bimbo at MY holiday place. e)airconditioning broke and they could not fix it f)etc. etc. my friend told me that the planets were totally out of alignment where I was concerned and there was nothing I could do about it as things were totally out of my control. What I did learn is that I coped with it all and survived. Planets still not doing perfectly for me!!! No I have never believed in astrology or consulted anyone.Take care of yourself, you deserve so much good in your life. I am also being sc####### royally by H but have a good lawyer. It is a shame that we are both spending money this way because he wants so much and to give so little. They have the life they think they want , now let them pay for it on their own!!!!!yeah right!!!

It doesn't help to be told it happens toeveryone, but it does. When it rains it pours. I am waiting for my turn. BUT it WILL GET BETTER AND YOU WILL SURVIVE! I know that is of little consolation right now but it is a thought to hang onto. Just remeber you are love and needed by your family and friends heres. lots and lots of {{{{{{SHEBA}}}} and prayers too.------------------ di

HI Sheba, I know what you mean about: "Why is it that every time I get to a point where I have a hold on myself and am actually feeling good.....something happens to just screw it all up??????" I feel the same way. Right now I'm in a "good????" place. Don't care. Don't hurt. I'm afraid tomorrow will be MY DAY!!! I'm going to buy a helmet, some painkillers, dig a foxhole and wait for the "new" bomb to drop. I hate BOTH places. The good place waiting, and the "bad" place picking the Shrapnel (sp?) out of my teeth!!!! Good luck and Prayers FRANK ------------------ desperate "If yesterday didn't stop today, Why should TODAY stop tomorrow??" "Wisdom is why!!"

Oh, Hon. It really does stink, doesn't it?Hang on. It happens. All at once. Just look at it this way, you're getting it all out of the way at once instead of slow and sure torture.Go ahead and sob away. Vent, yell, throw something and get it out. Break anything yet?Just hang in there. {{{{{{{{{{{{Sheba}}}}}}}}}}}}}Lori

Sheba -- If there's anything in the world you are not, it's a loser. You are taking the worst shots that can be thrown your way and you are surviving! I have to side with Jim in my belief that you are one of the wisest people it has ever been my pleasure to meet(or e-meet).You should not feel guilt about those missed appearances. Your relatives aren't trying to make you feel bad(well, except for maybe Mr. Nephew, but you know these video gamers) about the absences, they just want you there, with them, hoping to get your mind on more pleasant things.I'm bringing the garbage truck around so we can un-bury you from the trash that is piled on you right now. You are a reed in the wind and there is a terrible storm afoot. You are bending at the fury of the attack, but you are not breaking.Lori is right. Cry, stomp your feet, and go out and break something(H's head maybe). Then, once you have gotten some of the frustrations out, it's "pity party time"! I know that given my last week or so, I'm up for it. There are a few others here who are too.I'm going to be thinking a lot about you today, and I hope today is better than yesterday. Remember, Sheba, you are "strong like bull, moo". Way back when I was in school, a female friend of mine used to always say that. Doesn't come across the same way without the accent....Sending lots of love and e-hugs your way.

Sheba,No, you are not a loser. Don't sell your house if you don't want to - I think peace of mind is far better than what seems to make financial sense.I wish I could remember the site - maybe it was cartalk - I found a long list of independent car repair shops all over the country with recommendations from people who had used them - I actually found one only two miles away that I am very happy with, and they always can take my car within a few days. This is esp. important since we bought a car with over 100K miles on it just a couple of months before my H left - I never would have settled for such a high mileage car if I had known.Don't worry about not going to your relatives recitals, etc. They have no right to be upset with you, unless they offer to bring you.

Sheba, Who knows what could be wrong with the car, but it sounds like a fuel pump. I'm not a mechanic, but my bil is. MIL had the same symptoms and that was his diagnosis. For whatever that is worth, just don't let the garage sell you a bunch of unneeded parts! About the house, you need to see if you can afford it after the d. I know it is tough having to lose you h, your house, everything else. Right now you need to be practical and if its not in the budget, the house will eventually destroy you financially. So sorry [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Also, don't let your family drain you. You are not a loser! You have made an attempt to go to all of these family affairs. Your family wants to spend time with you (which is good) but sometimes you cannot meet all of their demands. Read the book "Boundaries". I know that this book defined me to a tee. I would give up everything to meet everybody elses needs and I got lost in the process. I now know how to say no and not feel quite so quilty. I'm only one person.(((((Hugs))))) Sounds like its going to be a tough time for you right now. You can make it through this. God may need to carry you all the way, but you can do it. You have to choose to get yourself out of this pit or it will eventually destroy you. You are a great person. And yes, your h is an idiot. Right now he feels very guilty for what he is doing to you. That is why he is avoiding you. Go give your dog a hug. He will stand by your side no matter what! Where can we find a man like our dogs [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Come back little Sheba!Hey, if everything was going well, then we wouldn't know we were alive!Don't really know what to tell ya'. Hang on, go through the emotions & feel 'em, get up & get going!As you know, I had a pretty crappy week too. Left my checkbook on the airplane in Denver. Called the airport. They found it & said they would fly it to Colo Springs. Went the next day to get it. NO ONE knew what I was talking about. Went to get in the car & locked the keys in. DOH! Finally fished the door open & had to go back the next day to get the checkbook.As soon as we think we are doing good, then something happens to really screw us up. Go with the flow & try not to let it wreck you too bad.You're doing great girl (small consolation I know), but you'll be okay.------------------ Prayers & God Bless! Chris For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Sheba, My good friend. When it rains it pours - no?I think all of our shoulders are soaked from holding one another during these crying episodes. You've been our rock. You've given when I didn't think you had anything left. Sheba, let it out. What a mess this all is. What destruction infidelity brings. Sheba, you've been there for us - we're here for you now. GROUP HUG{{{{{{{{{{SHEBA}}}}}}}}}}GROUP HUGSHA

hello there Sheba:we all have days like that from time to time. but you know. i was listening to a 93 year old woman at church last saturday and she said she was happy to just be alive and that every day above ground was a good one.what do you have to be thankful for? 1.us here on the site who stand up for you and with you and try to help you out. 2.you dont have some life threatening disease and only 3 months to live 3.it will all be resolved soon, then you can start to rebuild. 4. through all this you have become a much stronger and wiser individual 5. God only lets us experience what we can handle Go downtown where you live and look at the homeless folks, sick people and less fortunate than you or I. Go to the veterans home and visit some old S---, who lost his leg for his country. Go to the cancer ward at the hospital and visit some folks who will be so thrilled and excited to see you. i know this may not help what you are feeling, i wished we could help you in some other more productive way, but all we can do is pray for you and try to help you with our words. hang in there sheba...you'll make it! jerry-

BOMP< BOMP< BOMP......What the heck is that, you may ask?That's the sound of the horn announcing: Roll Me Away is backing up a semi-truck loaded with 2x4's and FROZEN SALMON for a party to knock stupid, idiotic, blind wayward spouses and other persons in the head with!BIG PARTY!!!!!Who: ALL ARE INVITED!!!!!!!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

When: Today, right nowWhere: Sheba's placeWhy: Sheba needs to FEEL BETTER!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

What: 2x4 bashing and frozen salmon slapping of anybody and anything that is making Sheba feel bad, or anybody else feel bad for that matterCOME ONE AND COME ALL!! Lend Sheba some support here!!!!P.S. I'll bring the chips and dip!Roll Me Away (Sheba, smiling yet????????) ------------------ "Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."Sir Humphry Davy

Sheba,I only havee {{{{{{{Sheba}}}}}}}} and prayers for you. We all have had days, or longer time spans where everything goes wrong. It will pass. I wish I could offer more but, I am tapped out.------------------ God bless you and all of us.Samantha

I'm here with the fish-o-matic to whip up some salmon juice... works well for pouring over head and shoulders of icky person, and the scent lingers on and on [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Must be thawed first though... frozen salmon only good for bopping in the head...~Sheryl

Sheba, Reread all those posts you sent me and change the names around so that I sent them to you. Those were great inspirational posts you sent me.Just talk to yourself(I seem to do a lot of that now!) and give yourself one of those great pep talks like only you can give,Bob

Hi Everyone and Thank you all so much!!You are all so great and the outpouring of love, hugs, kind words and wonderful advice are what keeps me balanced!!THANK YOU!!!!Well, I have processed ...... I hurt, then got angry, then tossed and turned and finally gave myself a good talking to!!!! So now, everything is pretty much in perspective!!! YAY!!Except the house....I am still up in the air about that one!!!! Just to let you all know....my SIL calling about the girl's recital was not to flame me or anything...quite the contrary - she wanted to put me at ease by telling me that she had taped it for me!!!! She is wonderful.....That's what brought the tears, I guess!!!Today I made some progress!!! I found a garage to take the car to....will be going in tomorrow AM and it's within walking distance so I don't have to worry about getting someone to come get me!!!Also, I talked with H this morning... He asked me if I was feeling better and I apologized and said that it was just a bad time.....told him about car, etc.We talked a bit and we were supposed to have a court date today...my lawyer's office called me at work to say that she's sick and it's postponed!! I said that it's a good thing cuz nobody informed ME about it and I wouldn't have been there!!!We are discussing the mediation thing and I will talk with Shark Lady by next week!!! Still don't think that it will accomplish anything but...I will show good faith and if he gets mad during it - OH WELL!!!!Again, than you all so much for being there and putting up with my rants!! I was able to discover that if I get it all out then I can process it and get past it a lot quicker!!!! Monique - I'm sorry that you weren't in a great mood either....how nice of you to boost me when you need it too!! Here's a BIG HUG - it's not much but it's the best I've got!!!Lucks - The Hugs and Smilies do wonders!!!ES - You mean I have to take my own advice? LOL!!! Thanks for the thoughts and prayers!!NB - Thank you for reaching out when you are going through so much....I have to catch up with all I've missed since Friday - but I will get there!!! BIG HUGS to you from my heart, too!!! (See what you made me do!! I'm rhyming now!) LOL!!!! Salmon juice? YUCK!!!! LOL!NSR - Thank you!!! You know, I remember your first post and I am so happy and proud of how you put all that "wanting to do" energy into learning and understanding, and then into helping soooooooo many people here!!! BRAVO!! Even though I am sad about how you got here....I am so glad that you found us!FHL - Oh, you flatterer you!! LOL!! Yeah, I know - I am tooooo sappy!!!! Love Ya!!Willbok - Thank you for helping me remember that it could be worse...that story....UGH!!! I guess it's true that we are only given what we can handle! What do you think about a Scre####d Spouse Club? LOL!! That's OK - we might get it now, but I wouldn't want to be them getting it later!!!!!SDS - You know, that's where I got the title of the thread from...."It's raining, it's pouring, etc"....only these words kept popping in my head - can still hear the little ditty!!!! I hope your "turn" doesn't come!! But You are right - we will all get through it and survive!!!! Absolutely!!! Lots of hugs and prayers right back at you!!Please Help - Thanks - you had me laughing....I want the helmut but not the foxhole....been in too many "pits" for too long already!!! "Shrapnel out of my teeth" LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!Lostva - Hi and yes it stinks!!!! Getting it all out of the way? Good point - at least I hope that happens!! NO - didn't break anything - I'd have to clean it up!!!! LOL!!!Heartpain - Thanks for the kind words and the pick-me-up!!! Bring on that garbage truck!!!! LOL!!! Nope - not breaking yet.....I'm sorry that I have not gotten to respond to your threads since Friday...I will get to them soon!Nellie - Sometimes it seems so overwhelming that ya just feel like a loser, you know? I know that it is our H's that are losing....not us!!!! Not in the long term anyway!! I tend to agree about some things being more important than finances....I will figure this out somehow!! Thanks for the cartalk information...will try to see if I can locate it!!!Derby - Thanks for the possible diagnosis...pray that it's not expensive!!!! It's hard to know what to do with the house because I don't know what income I will have and what I can afford!!! The monthly expense (rent vs mortgage) will be pretty much the same! The deciding factor is repairs and upkeep...... new roof, siding, etc. vs new and/or not have to be worried about. Who is "Boundaries" by? I still haven't figured out mine since the Forgiveness Workbook... Self-imposed guilt is usual for me.....only when I feel that I didn't do my best to accomplish what is right in my heart...even if I don't have to much of a choice! Thanks for the hugs and kind words. What you said about our dogs.....sooooo true!!!! I don't know why the saying is "men are dogs" when they are bad.!! Completely ridiculous!!!! I WISH!!!!!Chris - OK, I'm Back!!!! LOL!! (where does that line come from? Driving me nuts!!!!) Oh, I guess I am VERY ALIVE then, huh? You too, it seems!!!! Getting a touch of Infidelity BrainWarp? Yeah, I'll be OK and so will you.....SHA - I got a mental picture of all these people sitting at their computers sopping wet!!! LOL!! Thanks for reaching out - I know how you are feeling and I wish I could do something for you...... HEY, I'll let ya punch my arm if ya want!!!! LOL!!! Thanks for the Group Hug - it feels really good!!!Toolbox - HI I never got back to my other thread yet, but I read your post!! How are things going? Thank you for reminding me of all the wonders I should be giving thanks for....I do most of the time!!! Thanks for the prayers!!RMA - OK, you had to go and spoil a perfectly good "pity rant" with a sense of humor now, didn't you!!!! LOL!!! I hardly ever have 'em and now they have to be classified as laughing rants!! Geezzzzzz - I can't even rant right!! LOL!!! Thanks so much, I needed the LOLs!!! How I wish we all really could get together....OH what the hay, everyone to my house for New Year's 2000!!!!! NB - NO FISH at my house!!!!! Not since H left!!!! LOL!!!!RWD - Another one throwing my own words at me.....LOL!!! You are absolutely right though and as you can see - I gave it to myself but good!!!!! It's OK to talk to yourself...it's a good ego booster cuz someone might actually listen!!!!! LOL!!! Gotta get to your threads too.....I will soon!!!HUGS to you all,Sheba

Me again, Thought I would jump over here! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

I don't know how I'm doing anymore. Sometimes I think I'm OK, other times, not so OK. Did you get my email? It's still giving me trouble.Anyway, I'm pooped and heading home. You take care Sheba.Hugs to you, SHA

Hey, I'm going away for the weekend. Flying to Florida to meet a girlfriend.My H has the 3 girls, so he's gotta be good.My fantacy is that the Christmas tree, which is now marked in a field with a bandana, will be in the tree stand when I come back Sunday.Anyway, maintain while I'm gone....I worry about everyone when I can't check in.Glad you are feeling better!------------------ Faith, Hope, Love Remain, but the greatest of these is Love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

I’ve been dying to use that line since you’ve been here! It’s a movie starring Burt Lancaster.<A HREF="http://us.imdb.com/Title?0044509" TARGET=_blank>Come back, Little Sheba</A>Good luck with the car & the mediation!------------------ Prayers & God Bless! Chris For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited December 09, 1999).]

Sheba, The Boundaries book is by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It really helps you not feel guilty abount not meeting everyone elses demands. It is a great book for people that are real givers like you [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

MOOOOONDO HUUUUUUUUUUG!!!!!!!!!!!!------------------ God Bless, Rob