My last topic and prayer request centered around the final breakup between my exhusband and myself. Gentle, you called to my attention that I wasn't fully and completely taking my exhusband back, and was still questioning things. Yes, I was, and I guess it was wrong. I did pray that the Lord lead and guide me. My exhusband even told me not to worry, he would always be there and wait for me to be ready. So, I thought I was listening and waiting upon the Lord. My exhusband has already started a relationship with a woman (probably the day after he broke up with me). He told me that he wasn't seeing her prior to the breakup, but how could he enter into a relationship so quickly ( and I believe it is serious). My heart isn't open to anyone, and still loves my ex husband. I believe that the only reason he came back to me was because he was guilty. Please offer up some advise and prayer for what I should do. He has told me to move on and get on with my future. The Lord must have a plan. Gentle, I pray for you and hope you are doing okay.
This heartache is so difficult and paralyzing.
Gentle, you are so steadfast in your stand

Rejected,
I would urge you not to stop loving, but instead ask God how to love your ex as He would want you to love him. I know what you are going thru and I know it hurts. But be sure to forgive. Say it and then ask God to make it real in your heart. Then ask God to forgive you of the things You did wrong. Ask God to show you those things you have long forgotten so that nothing is left unrepented for. THAT is a critical and important step. Repentence shows you have taken control of pride.
Keep loving and believing that God has a plan for your marriage. Yes you will get discouraged, but don't give up. Make God THE power in and of your life. And continue to talk on this thread. Sometimes God has a certain person He wants to answer you.
God Bless
singleguy

PS: Change your name. How about Blessed?

Rejected,
I would agree with SG. Never love someone less for what they do. Sometimes, and this is the case with my own marriage, you just have to let things go. I found myself holding on too tight. You see, I have a huge fear of losing loved ones. I finally decided to not let fear dictate how I live and what I choose. For love is both choice and feeling. In my case, my wife no longer loves me. I still love her very much. Even should we get divorced, I wouldn't love her less. I would let her go with my best wishes for her happiness. In my heart, I have already done so. I'm a firm believer in letting something go to see if it comes back. If it comes back, it's yours forever. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.
Let go... Let God be your strength.

<small>[ August 27, 2003, 12:26 PM: Message edited by: PaulJ ]</small>

Thank you so much for the replies!
You both made such good points. For a while I wished I didn't have my heart anymore, because the pain was so intense. But I should be glad for the capacity I know that I can love. I am going to put it all in God's hands. My ex-husband came back once and I thought it was a miracle-----I know that they can happen. If he doesn't this time, well, I will just put have to trust in the Lord and what he has in store for me.
All I know is that I pray each and everyday (several times a day) for peace, I am so tired of hurting. Just as I am sure everyone here is. I will keep you all in my prayers.
thanks
again
Rejected (aka BLESSED!)

Petrie,

I am so sorry I didn't get back with you before now. I have been so tired the last few weeks.

I am praying for you.

You said you believe he only came back becasue he felt guilty. Well, this is good, this means the Holy Spirit was working in him, and the Holy spirit still is working in him. It takes time to let go of things. You know this is true with your own life.

You also know that his seeing other women has nothing to do with you and everything to do about how he feels aobut himself.

You know he is not happy, he can't be living a life of going from one relationship to another.

I belive God still has work ot do in you and your former husband. It takes time and we don't like that. Maybe you both rushed things before, maybe more time is needed. He will see that this new relationship doesn't make him happy.

He needs to feel loved, that is why he keeps looking for things to fill him. You know that the Lord is the only one that can fill him. Help him feel loved by showing and giving him Christ's love in everything you say or do.

All things are possible with God. Seek Him first.

I know this is hard and believe me I have my days when I want to give up on my husband. I have days were I have little faith. I am thandful that God has put my church family in my life. All I have to do is contact one of them or go to a class at church or something else and they get me back on track. I really don't see myself as strong at all. God helps me to be strong with the brothers and sisters He puts in my life. He is my strength.

I have days I want to run away. I have days I act like a big baby. I even have days I get mad at God. Praise God He always put something or someone in my path to get me back on track.

It is a long hard road. Petrie, we have been at this about the same length of time. I am still here with you. Maybe this is God's way of telling you something.

Concentrate on the things you know God wants you to do. God is melting that mountain for you. Believe and look to Him. I will be here for you.
Do you still have my email address? I still have yours in my book but I don't know if you still have the same one. I believe the one I have was from your work.

Stay strong,

gentle

<small>[ June 12, 2004, 05:06 AM: Message edited by: LoveMyEx ]</small>

Gentle! Thank you so much, you have so many of the same feelings as I do. Just the other day, I was having a hard time dealing with my emotions at work and called upon a friend from church and that helped me tremedously.
It is like we know what we must do, but it is always good to hear it again to get back on the right path. My thoughts get away from me and to think of what he is doing................well it is difficult.
You are right about showing and giving my exhusband, Christ's love. I do tell him that I am praying for him, whenever we talk.
I do not have your email address, but mine is still the same one from work.
Thanks again Gentle,
thanks for the support
-Petrie

You said it all to well, Love my Ex!
I happen to live right around the corner from my ex and he calls me occasionally to ask if I am okay. I have told him exactly how I feel and he has asked me if I am trying to make him feel guilty. That is furthest from what I want him to feel. I am just expressing myself and the fact that I do still love him and am praying for him (and us).
I thank you all so much for I know we all understand each other.
-Blessed