Is my husband going out and drinking too often? - 10/18/07 04:38 PM
Hi Everyone,
I am hoping to get both male and female insight on my issue. Here's my story:
My husband and I are both 28 and have been married for a little over 5 years. We don't have any kids yet, but are trying. My husband works more than full-time as the cfo of a small insurance company. I work about 30 hours a week.
My gripe is in regard to the drinking and bar-hopping that has become a pattern over the past six months or so. Last spring, my husband hired and relocated a friend and co-worker from another business location. Now, they two of them and another work friend not only spend all day at work together, but they lunch together, go to the gym together and go out drinking until the wee hours of the morning about twice a month. One friend really doesn't drink much, so my husband always has a DD. The fact that he knows he doesn't have to drive home means that he generally gets very buzzed is not drunk. On weeks where they don't go out to a bar, they go to each other's houses to work and drink while they're working. My husband once stayed at a co-workers house until 5am working, drinking and watching movies.
I have a problem with this. I think the drinking is too frequent and I also feel like married men don't have a lot of right to be in bars until the wee hours of the morning doing god knows what. He never comes home before 1:15am.
I have tried on several occasions to talk to my husband about this. I tell him that it bothers me. His basic response is "So, I'm never supposed to go out and have fun?" I don't even know how to respond to that. I think it's a rather immature answer, but that's just me. This never really happened before this other guy moved here. I feel like all my husband needed was a ring-leader. When I talk to him about it he really doesn't see that he's doing anything wrong and basically seems unwilling to change. The drinking also bothers me because we are trying to have a baby and I know that you are supposed to stop using alcohol while trying to conceive.
What does everyone think? Am I unreasonable? Should I let him have his fun and not complain? Maybe I wouldn't if he came home at 5, but he doesn't. He comes home around 7 or 8 most of the time, eats dinner and then watches TV or works on his laptop. Maybe I'm starved for attention. I don't know.
I am looking for a way to communicate my concerns to him in a way that he'll understand and hopefully respect my opinion. Thoughts?
Thanks!
-Hillary
I am hoping to get both male and female insight on my issue. Here's my story:
My husband and I are both 28 and have been married for a little over 5 years. We don't have any kids yet, but are trying. My husband works more than full-time as the cfo of a small insurance company. I work about 30 hours a week.
My gripe is in regard to the drinking and bar-hopping that has become a pattern over the past six months or so. Last spring, my husband hired and relocated a friend and co-worker from another business location. Now, they two of them and another work friend not only spend all day at work together, but they lunch together, go to the gym together and go out drinking until the wee hours of the morning about twice a month. One friend really doesn't drink much, so my husband always has a DD. The fact that he knows he doesn't have to drive home means that he generally gets very buzzed is not drunk. On weeks where they don't go out to a bar, they go to each other's houses to work and drink while they're working. My husband once stayed at a co-workers house until 5am working, drinking and watching movies.
I have a problem with this. I think the drinking is too frequent and I also feel like married men don't have a lot of right to be in bars until the wee hours of the morning doing god knows what. He never comes home before 1:15am.
I have tried on several occasions to talk to my husband about this. I tell him that it bothers me. His basic response is "So, I'm never supposed to go out and have fun?" I don't even know how to respond to that. I think it's a rather immature answer, but that's just me. This never really happened before this other guy moved here. I feel like all my husband needed was a ring-leader. When I talk to him about it he really doesn't see that he's doing anything wrong and basically seems unwilling to change. The drinking also bothers me because we are trying to have a baby and I know that you are supposed to stop using alcohol while trying to conceive.
What does everyone think? Am I unreasonable? Should I let him have his fun and not complain? Maybe I wouldn't if he came home at 5, but he doesn't. He comes home around 7 or 8 most of the time, eats dinner and then watches TV or works on his laptop. Maybe I'm starved for attention. I don't know.
I am looking for a way to communicate my concerns to him in a way that he'll understand and hopefully respect my opinion. Thoughts?
Thanks!
-Hillary