why do i react this way? - 04/24/09 04:34 AM
My husband just came home from a year long tour in Iraq a few weeks ago. He left this afternoon to go for a ride on his motorcycle and hasnt came home all day. Now it is 9pm, and he called to say he is around the corner visiting some old friends. I flipped out, yelled at him, hung up on him and texted "f*** you" to his phone. After getting over my anger that he's with his friends and not home with me and the kids, I feel like an a**hole.
I don't know how to not react in anger when he wants to hang out with his friends. I've always been this way. I feel angry, rejected, and alone, and I sometimes have an anxiety attack. I realized that I overreact, but I dont know how to be "normal"... I want to feel okay when he leaves. I also flinch every time he makes a sudden move near me, even though he has never hit me, nor threatened to. It hurts him that I flinch because he says he would never hit me.
I'm sure this has to do with my fear of abandonment because my dad left me when I was 8. It also has to do with my mom being an alcoholic and always being in dysfunctional/abusive relationships. I dont know how "normal" people act in a marraige. I always remember my mom flipping out if my step-dad went to hang out with his friends. I also have a hard time trusting my husband because of a short affair that happened over a year ago.
Anyone have any ideas on how I can stop thee things from affecting me this way? I'm afraid that the way I overeact so easily will tear us apart....
I don't know how to not react in anger when he wants to hang out with his friends. I've always been this way. I feel angry, rejected, and alone, and I sometimes have an anxiety attack. I realized that I overreact, but I dont know how to be "normal"... I want to feel okay when he leaves. I also flinch every time he makes a sudden move near me, even though he has never hit me, nor threatened to. It hurts him that I flinch because he says he would never hit me.
I'm sure this has to do with my fear of abandonment because my dad left me when I was 8. It also has to do with my mom being an alcoholic and always being in dysfunctional/abusive relationships. I dont know how "normal" people act in a marraige. I always remember my mom flipping out if my step-dad went to hang out with his friends. I also have a hard time trusting my husband because of a short affair that happened over a year ago.
Anyone have any ideas on how I can stop thee things from affecting me this way? I'm afraid that the way I overeact so easily will tear us apart....