Tricky Situation - 04/29/09 09:43 AM
Hi there,
I am in a bit of a tricky situation and am needing some direction.
I used to lead a Bible Study group and a woman in the group has become emotionally attached to me. I picked this up a year ago but thought that it was rather innocent. Later, my wife brought up the matter with me and from the things that she relayed to me, the situation is far worse than expected. This women is clearly trying to develop a relationship with me.
This is where it becomes tricky. If I speak to her directly, the type of person she is she will start to spread things about me through the church, which will have negative effects on my wife's and my ministries. The same would be true if my wife speaks to her directly. If we spoke to her together, I imagine the same would happen.
We could go and speak to one of the pastors, but from what happened to a friend of mine who had a similar incident happen in our church, he was accused of having an affair by the pastors, when he was not, and then rumors spread around because of it. I don't know if I am able to trust any of the pastors.
We could just leave the church, however, there are a few problems with this.
1) My wife and I own a business together and this woman is one of our customers. She seems to have the knack of coming to the store when my wife is not there and I am left to deal with her.
2) She lives in the same suburb as my in-law's and we often bump into her when in the area.
3) She knows all of our contact details (printed in the church directory that is available to all the congregation) so she could contact us at any time. She has even phoned the house to speak to me personally, asking for me when my wife answered the phone.
4) There are also too many other points of possible contact within the community that we could run into her.
Another issue is that her mother is well respected within the church and the community, who also gets on well with us.
This woman has tried to get to me through my in-laws, parents, friends, wife, and obviously directly.
As you can imagine this has put a strain on my marriage.
Any advice?
I am in a bit of a tricky situation and am needing some direction.
I used to lead a Bible Study group and a woman in the group has become emotionally attached to me. I picked this up a year ago but thought that it was rather innocent. Later, my wife brought up the matter with me and from the things that she relayed to me, the situation is far worse than expected. This women is clearly trying to develop a relationship with me.
This is where it becomes tricky. If I speak to her directly, the type of person she is she will start to spread things about me through the church, which will have negative effects on my wife's and my ministries. The same would be true if my wife speaks to her directly. If we spoke to her together, I imagine the same would happen.
We could go and speak to one of the pastors, but from what happened to a friend of mine who had a similar incident happen in our church, he was accused of having an affair by the pastors, when he was not, and then rumors spread around because of it. I don't know if I am able to trust any of the pastors.
We could just leave the church, however, there are a few problems with this.
1) My wife and I own a business together and this woman is one of our customers. She seems to have the knack of coming to the store when my wife is not there and I am left to deal with her.
2) She lives in the same suburb as my in-law's and we often bump into her when in the area.
3) She knows all of our contact details (printed in the church directory that is available to all the congregation) so she could contact us at any time. She has even phoned the house to speak to me personally, asking for me when my wife answered the phone.
4) There are also too many other points of possible contact within the community that we could run into her.
Another issue is that her mother is well respected within the church and the community, who also gets on well with us.
This woman has tried to get to me through my in-laws, parents, friends, wife, and obviously directly.
As you can imagine this has put a strain on my marriage.
Any advice?