She doesn't know if - 05/14/09 12:37 PM
1st night:
She doesn't know if she want to spend the rest of her life with me. She says that its her not me, she says she doesn't want me to change, but that we are so different. She says we have nothing in common. I asked if she would go to counciling with me and she aggreed.
2nd day:
Within a few minutes in the counciling session the Dr. reported to my wife that she was having a mid-life crisis. He asked that we come up with things we had in common and rank them.
2nd week:
She had 5 to 7 things we had in common but was picking them apart because of how I behaved when we did them. I came up with 48 things and reduce them down to 28 for times sake, she agree with all but 1 of them.
Since I found out how my wife felt, i've backed way off to the point the she has most if not all of the power in our relationship. Although this is not healthy long term, I felt my options were limited. If she left I would have less than if she stayed in these conditions. I continually reminded her how much I love her, how wonderful she is, how important to me she is and that I really wanted to find a way to repair our relationship.
2 days ago:
She reported that she now thinks of me as a friend, telling me that she is shocked at this because she has never thought this way in our 19 yrs together. She say although this was nice, she wasn't sure it was a step in the right direction for our relationship stating that she couldn't feel romantically about a friend.
Yesterday:
She's disconnected from me, but polite. While smoking together she decides to listen to music vs a conversation with me. At night I lean over and give her a romantic kiss and stroke her back - she say that she continues to view me as a friend now and believes if she were to be romantic with me, it would destroy your friendship. I told her I dreamed of a day when we could be close friends and lovers.
Am I on the right track?
She doesn't know if she want to spend the rest of her life with me. She says that its her not me, she says she doesn't want me to change, but that we are so different. She says we have nothing in common. I asked if she would go to counciling with me and she aggreed.
2nd day:
Within a few minutes in the counciling session the Dr. reported to my wife that she was having a mid-life crisis. He asked that we come up with things we had in common and rank them.
2nd week:
She had 5 to 7 things we had in common but was picking them apart because of how I behaved when we did them. I came up with 48 things and reduce them down to 28 for times sake, she agree with all but 1 of them.
Since I found out how my wife felt, i've backed way off to the point the she has most if not all of the power in our relationship. Although this is not healthy long term, I felt my options were limited. If she left I would have less than if she stayed in these conditions. I continually reminded her how much I love her, how wonderful she is, how important to me she is and that I really wanted to find a way to repair our relationship.
2 days ago:
She reported that she now thinks of me as a friend, telling me that she is shocked at this because she has never thought this way in our 19 yrs together. She say although this was nice, she wasn't sure it was a step in the right direction for our relationship stating that she couldn't feel romantically about a friend.
Yesterday:
She's disconnected from me, but polite. While smoking together she decides to listen to music vs a conversation with me. At night I lean over and give her a romantic kiss and stroke her back - she say that she continues to view me as a friend now and believes if she were to be romantic with me, it would destroy your friendship. I told her I dreamed of a day when we could be close friends and lovers.
Am I on the right track?