Thanks to all that posted.<p>[This message has been edited by BabyBoomer (edited September 09, 1999).]

Babyboomer:<P>I'd suggest that you try Steve Harley here at MarriageBuilders for counseling. Steve is terrific, and my wife and I have found the phone counseling very effective (and convenient).<P>If you don't want to try that, look for a counselor who will take a behavioral-based approach, and someone who is familiar with Dr. Harley's methods. I'd also suggest that you start by purchasing "Give and Take" from the website here, and start working through that book together. More detailed information can also be found in the books "Lovebusters" and "His Needs/Her Needs".<P>Although you didn't state what the problems are, I'm betting your marriage can be saved. You just need the right coach and the right gameplan---and my top recommendation is Steve Harley.

Dear BabyBoomer:<BR>I don't want to sound like a religious phanatic but pray. Pray for the courage to for your union to be an one, for your marriage to prosper with each coming year. As long as both sides WANT to make it work, than it really shouldn't matter how long it takes. You are one of the luck ones that has a husband that is willing to work things out and wants to go to counseling. Don't think about time that you may have wasted if you keep trying. Think about the time that you will have in the future to grow old together and share in memories and look back on all this and say, we did it. We did it together. Life is always a gamble no matter what you do, you just don't know where it may lead. Thinking about,"suppose it doesn't work" leaves you thinking about the negative instead of how you can rebuild your marriage. You love your H and he loves you, gosh, pursue your union and do what ever it takes to save it. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Your friend, Katya

BabyBoomer,<BR>You could be me. Except I have been married 21 years, and 3 children, plus one brother.<BR>I would tell you not to give up. I am going through almost the same thing in ways. I'm not giving up. If anything over the last few weeks I have learned it is to fight for what our relationship should be. I read something over that period of time that has me really thinking. I can work, work, work at our relationship but until I turn it over to the Lord. And I mean really let it go. Its not going to do me any good. <BR>The Lord is the only person that can heal our wounds, the wounds to the heart. He can help us see things more clearly. Make a path for us and to make us stonger.<BR>My husband and I are going to a retreat the first weekend in Oct. I am looking forward to this because of the time we will be together and for the classes that they are having. Some of the topics are communication, sexuality, Prayer, Love languages, and Intimacy. Others are dealing with anger, Experiencing God for couples. Things that are of interest to us. Things we need to listen to, and to learn about. Things that will make our marriage stonger.<P>Its funny but 6 days ago, I didn't feel this good. I know it is because I Left my marriage in the hands of the Lord. Oh, I will still work at it. But I will no longer give up on my marriage and I will prayer for it.<P>Good Luck in your trials.<P>God Bless You. <P>Unsure is NOW Sure<P>