new here...husband... not sure where to start. - 01/05/05 04:19 PM
This is our second marriage for both of us. We both have kids from our previous marriage, but none together. We have a lot of blended family problems that are not all that unique.
But a problem that is unique is this- I think my husband abuses (hurts) our pets when I am not home. Our small dog within the last 2 or 3 months quivers and shakes, pees on the floor, and ducks his head and lowers his body when my husband nears him. My husband had quite a few days off where he was home alone with the dog in the past few months. before that, the dog was outside most of the time. Recently, he tried to hold the dog and the dog peed on him, which he had not done before. He has hit/pushed him a few feet across the floor several times in my prescence, and the dog yelps as if in pain.
I have asked him if he did something to the dog to make him be so pathetically fearful, and he said no. Now he ducks under the furniture when my husband is around.
I had a puppy several years ago, and had only had her a couple of weeks. One day my husband was off work...when I came home the dog had a cast on her leg. He said he didnt know what had happened but she was limping, so he took her to the vet and they put the cast on.
The dog I had before that I had from before we got married. she was an inside dog until we got married, then she started refusing to come into the house. When she was around my husband, she would shrink down in fear.
I dont know why, but I am just now putting this together.
When we first got married, my kids would complain about him pushing, pinching, tripping them, etc. He would always deny it or say it was an accident and I beleived him to a point. Eventually I told him that I was sick and tired of all the 'accidents' and opposing stories and that whatever was going on, it had to stop.
After that, there was no more problem with it, although there are still problems between him and the kids.
I know he has a violent temper, both from things he has told me and from things I have witnessed, always towards inanimate objects. Except for one time 4 or 5 years ago, his son wouldnt go to sleep and was up all night screaming. we were taking turns sitting with him. at one point my husband came in and just cried on my chest. after a while he told me he had hit his son. He was too upset to talk about it. I checked on his son and didnt see any injuries.
Later, I told him we needed to talk about what happened. He acted like he didnt know what I was talking about.
I have beleived the things he tells me for so long, but I am beginning to think I am an idiot. I try very hard to not leave my kids alone with him because they always tell me he is mean to them (verbally).
We are christians but not very active in church anymore. He is so happy go lucky acting, people think he is a real sweetheart, til they hear some of the things he says to the kids.
Our communication is terrible, our marriage is terrible. I feel like I am at the end of my rope.
But a problem that is unique is this- I think my husband abuses (hurts) our pets when I am not home. Our small dog within the last 2 or 3 months quivers and shakes, pees on the floor, and ducks his head and lowers his body when my husband nears him. My husband had quite a few days off where he was home alone with the dog in the past few months. before that, the dog was outside most of the time. Recently, he tried to hold the dog and the dog peed on him, which he had not done before. He has hit/pushed him a few feet across the floor several times in my prescence, and the dog yelps as if in pain.
I have asked him if he did something to the dog to make him be so pathetically fearful, and he said no. Now he ducks under the furniture when my husband is around.
I had a puppy several years ago, and had only had her a couple of weeks. One day my husband was off work...when I came home the dog had a cast on her leg. He said he didnt know what had happened but she was limping, so he took her to the vet and they put the cast on.
The dog I had before that I had from before we got married. she was an inside dog until we got married, then she started refusing to come into the house. When she was around my husband, she would shrink down in fear.
I dont know why, but I am just now putting this together.
When we first got married, my kids would complain about him pushing, pinching, tripping them, etc. He would always deny it or say it was an accident and I beleived him to a point. Eventually I told him that I was sick and tired of all the 'accidents' and opposing stories and that whatever was going on, it had to stop.
After that, there was no more problem with it, although there are still problems between him and the kids.
I know he has a violent temper, both from things he has told me and from things I have witnessed, always towards inanimate objects. Except for one time 4 or 5 years ago, his son wouldnt go to sleep and was up all night screaming. we were taking turns sitting with him. at one point my husband came in and just cried on my chest. after a while he told me he had hit his son. He was too upset to talk about it. I checked on his son and didnt see any injuries.
Later, I told him we needed to talk about what happened. He acted like he didnt know what I was talking about.
I have beleived the things he tells me for so long, but I am beginning to think I am an idiot. I try very hard to not leave my kids alone with him because they always tell me he is mean to them (verbally).
We are christians but not very active in church anymore. He is so happy go lucky acting, people think he is a real sweetheart, til they hear some of the things he says to the kids.
Our communication is terrible, our marriage is terrible. I feel like I am at the end of my rope.